Trying to be happy, isn’t working

heading bush sounds interesting @Gazza75

or is it the farm

when i read this @Gazza75 ===== hope you are both staying out of trouble-- ha ha

I meant to my farm @Shaz51 , it's pretty remote. I tell people the town name and they have no idea where I am located... even the 'towns' that are nearby people don't know. 🙂

I hope you both got to do your 2pm finish at least 🙂

we did @Gazza75

and i have put a load of washing on and doing nothing now xxx

Good for you @Shaz51 , I'm sure it's Mr Shaz turn to hang it out 🙂

Dear @Shaz51

@it is indeed big project but I am determined to do it over the next two weeks. I am feeling a bit better and trying not to worry about things I can do nothing about. But my anxiety is still generally very high. But the sunny days lift me up.

My son is testing my limits at the moment. I have loved this boy so much and done and do so much,,but I feel he now disrespects me and hurts me.

I still think about the peace of dying, but will not act on this. I just want peace.

peri

Dear @Peri

I am very tired and about to head off to bed. But I just noticed your post come through and wanted to acknowledge it before signing off for the day.

So good to hear from you, and also to read that you are feeling a bit better. Good philosophy to not worry about things we can do nothing about. A little different in practice, but definitely a worthy goal in life. Glad you're getting some sunny days. Over here we have been getting some rain .. finally. Much needed it was too, after being so dry these past few months. Most of the past week has been overcast and passing showers. Likely to improve from tomorrow however, and we will likely get some warmer sunny weather.

Of course you want peace ... its something I believe all of us strive for in life. Such a shame its so elusive for some of us. I have to agree that there are times I too think that the alternative to living is a better option. But those thoughts, thankfully, are becoming less insistent for me the last couple of days. Its been a very difficult past week or more for me though. Hence my absence from the forums for the past 10 or 11 days. If you're like me, you will tend to vanish for a while when you're at your worst, and only reappear when things are on the improve. It mostly works for me, I guess because I dont really want to inflict my suffering on others, and thus drag them down with me. However it may be better to stay and talk it over here on the forums. Not sure. But I think its a good thing you're back, and I am happy to see you.

Bed time for me now .. so I bid you good night. Good night also to @Gazza75 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom 😴💖

Sherry 💕

Hi @Former-Member

@Gazza75We have not "talked" that much but I have related a lot to your posts. Like to hear about you going bush ...

Hey @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

It is interesting the way we all find different ways to use the forum to help regulate some of the most severe feelings. I really value your posts as they ring so true and help give me more of a vocabulary for talking about feelings. For most of my life there was no feeling talk but mainly a lot of extreme events.

@Peri I have just written a little about my relationship with my son on my thread Fragile if you are interested. I will probably delete mentions of him in a few days as I dont wnt to compromise his confidentiality and anonymity, but if it resonates with you to share about it here or there ... ??? There is no right way ... These days are so complicated for young people, but we have to encourage them to grow up. It is just seems slower and more nuanced than in the ... good ole days ///

I find I am learning myself and trying to encourage my son to talk through his feelings. It has been a major WIN to encourage him to sit down as he talks to me. He used to resist sitting and as a very tall man could be quite intimidating when he was standing and upset. Yesterday he finally agreed that it had a good calming effect to sit down and continue saying what he needed to say ... rather than be standing. He tended to calm down and I tended to calm down and he could talk himself out....

Best wishes to you ALL.

💜 @Appleblossom .....

I'm sure it's Mr Shaz turn to hang it out--- sure is @Gazza75

hello and hugs @Appleblossom , @Former-Member

@Perisending you understaning hugs my friend

I had 4 step children who were all young and then teenagers

thay are adults now but , it was hard

@Faith-and-Hope

Thank you @Appleblossom

@knowing that others struggle with their children is a help. My son is not a child he is a man with a daughter. He lives with me, but I am beginning to think that he hates me and resents me for stuff that went on in childhood and I cannot change that noe and did I what I thought was right at the time. I don’t know how long I can live like this. I don’t want a complete falling out with him. I love him, but he is wearing me down. He knows best about everything and even is he is right, does it mean that I have to live the way he wants me to? I am so sad and low about this. As I see the rest of my life stuck in this situation with no respite