Hello my dear @Peri. I'm so glad you posted last night. Because I had not seen your post to me from 14th August. Yes I was staying with my Dad by then, having left home on 13th August. While there I did not have access to my email or the Sane site. For some reason I was unable to log in, or it took so long that I got timed out. Not sure .. but I lost track of all my notifications and tags during the 8 days I was away. And its taken ages to try to catch up again. I have been back only 6 days now, and I seem to have packed a lot into those 6 days. All been very tiring.
Anyway, I feel that I have neglected you lately, and I apologise for that. I know you too have been going through a particularly difficult time of late. But I am slowly catching up on threads from while I was away, and hope to be more responsive again from now on.
Yes it was a very difficult 8 days at my Dads. But I got such a lot done, and was quite pleased with myself. All Mums personal effects were gone through and fairly distributed amongst those who could use them, thankfully with no rancour between the relevant parties. Which was a relief, given my sister can be very difficult. So all Mums clothes, bags, shoes, hats, etc have been gone through and anything of no use to family, has been given to charity shops. She had some lovely clothes, but too big for me or my sister in law. She lost a lot of weight in the past year, but didnt buy much in the smaller sizes. But I know someone will appreciate them. Oh .. and scarves ... Mum was a collector of them it seems. I kept dragging more and more scarves out of cupboards, drawers, bags, pockets, cars, etc. She honestly has 100s of them. All sorts ... light floaty ones, thick woolly ones, beautiful silk ones. I have kept a few that I particularly liked, as has other family members. I gave some away to Vinnies, but kept many others in a large wicker basket. Didnt have the heart to give them all away. I will go through them again next time I'm down.
Unfortunately both my Mum and my Dad are dreadful hoarders ... never throw anything out. So I also managed to go through a lot of my dads clothing while there, and made space for the things he needs to access. There were boxes and boxes of books, magazines, old clothes, empty bags, old bedding, etc all lining the walls of both their bedrooms. I have gone through it all and ditched rubbish and stored other things in their very large 6 bay garage in the back yard. A big job. But at least now Dad has an unobstructed area in which to walk through his bedroom, kitchen, lounge and hallway. Even the front door was blocked with half a dozen large boxes of 'stuff'. Fire danger in itself. So that was a job well done.
Unfortunately there are still lots of things left to do the next trip I take there. Mum also collected ornaments and nick knacks of all sorts. I considered them to be household effects however, rather than personal effects. So they are Dads as well, so I did not distribute any of those. I will let Dad think about it and maybe do something about some of it next visit.
Jewellery was the thing I found most difficult. Only a few pieces of any real value - wedding, engagement and eternity rings, which went to my sister in law who will keep them to pass on to their kids if or when they ever get married. Besides that she had a set of diamond stud earrings, which one went to each of her grandsons (both wear single earings, so could share) and a couple of other rings - my sister got an emerald one, and I got an opal ring which fitted me perfectly. But it was many of the other jewellery items which brought a few tears. Items I recall her buying or wearing on particular occasions. It was all quite emotional really.
My Dad now has meals delivered each day, which means someone is checking on him at least once daily. And he has someone come in once a week now for personal care and also for cleaning, or whatever else he needs doing. He could have more assistance if he wants it, but for now its enough. He wants to remain at home longer term. His little bid for independence did not last all that long however. I left last Tuesday and by that night he had taken a bad fall and given himself a black eye, a skinned head, a bung knee and a twisted neck. Being on blood thinners, he needed to be watched in case of a possible brain bleed. The home care people insisted he see a Dr, which he did. So he ended up having a few nights back on the farm with my brother. But back home again now, and hopefully no further dramas.
Well @Peri, winter is almost over, and I hope that results in a less gloomy outlook for you. I know the sunshine brings a bit of light into your life. So I hope that is not far away. Try not to think about Christmas, its still a long way away. You sound the opposite to me, the days are not so bad, but the nights are more difficult for me. A distinct lack of peace, despite the quiet.
Contentment is something we could all work on I suppose. At least you know what needs to be worked on to make things better. Thats more than many of us know! Certainly me. I have to agree though, that the actual 'doing' of those things is the hard part. Especially when it comes to depression. With my PTSD, I almost accept the anxiety side of things, which is with me all the time. But when I have these bouts of depression on top of it ... thats when I really struggle. But I will get through .. I know that ... because I always do. Despite how hard it often seems.
I'm glad you have your dogs, and your son and your grand daughter to keep you company. It all makes a positive difference, even if sometimes it seems like an imposition.
Hi also to others who visit this thread, some of whom I havent seen here in a while @BryanaCamp @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Starta. Always good to see you @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope
Sherry 💕
