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I just need to share this: for the first time in so very long, today I actually feel happy. Nothing particularly exciting happened - in fact something unpleasant occurred. It hasn't taken my pleasure away. I had a picnic lunch with another mother and our children. We sat in the sun, on some grass near a playground. We initially sat somewhere else, and were moved on for being inadvertently on "private" land, but it didn't upset me. It was a simple, enjoyable time. And I feel happy. I think I'd forgotten how that feels. I feel light. This is wonderful. Wow!
It is good too have people to lean on. People to visit. People to call and chat with. People who care. I've noticed something about myself. And that is, i am socially needy and feel socially jeopardized. And like I'm not worth people's time and not worth the bother. Because they have their lives. And their own problems. And have excelled beyond wanting anything to do with me. So now i have noticed this problem. I can actually do something about it. And counteract the mental driving forces behind the scenario. (Which are false fears ) It's a fear based thing where I'm always on red alert. And is based around fear of not being shunned bye the pack. -Or my need to be accepted, understood, loved, cared for is not reciprocated. (Because they are above me ) When it's given. It's cruel little process. And has isolated from alot of people who simply wanted to help. And it is true to an extent. And also not acceptable that i do it too myself. So I'm making a conservative effort to mend relationships and rebuild bridges which have been destroyed bye my illness. And I'm bringing, care, acceptance, understanding, concern, prayer, a listening ear, a kind heart, friendship, the essence of being an ally to the table.
Life is hard. Life is stressful. Life ain't easy. And thinking that you're in it on your own. Makes it that little bit more tougher. I'm constantly wanting and needing someone to lean on. Someone to support me. And it's very scary too think. That one day it will not be there for me. It's the one thing. that i dread most of all.
The price of kindness is free. The repercussions of being mean. Are heavy.
In response to: Happiness
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: Happiness
@Former-Member what's happening? , I came to your happy place, and it's like it's closed for business. Which leads me to ask you, are you ok? There is a growing heaviness in my heart that something has taken your joi de voire away, a a special fairy spark has been dimmed. I'm so sorry if something has made you sad; you are such a beautiful & unique person. It's difficult to know you're in pain.
In response to: Re: Happiness
Unknown userMember
Re: Happiness
Hi @eudemonism I am around if you need to talk to someone
In response to: Happiness
Unknown userMember
Re: Happiness
@eudemonism
Bye eudemonism, I hope one day you are healed & whole, & JOYFUL & HAPPY!?
Thank you for caring about me!
XO 🙂 <><
In response to: Re: Happiness
Unknown userMember
Re: Happiness
Sis @Former-Member
In response to: Happiness
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Happiness
@Former-Member you have heaps of aupport here. Its ok to talk to us you know. Ive been watching the forums in the background. I know how this is affecting you but you still have the support of many others here inlcuding @Former-Member@Sans911@Former-Member@Former-Member myself and many others
In response to: Re: Happiness
Unknown userMember
Re: Happiness
@Former-MemberBella.
"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of thers cannot keep it from themself"
This quote made me think of you Bella, your joy! but remember, you're OK just as you are - no matter what feeling you observe.
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