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Help with boundry statagies

Help with boundry statagies

Hi, I need some advice or strategies to cope with my 20 year old daughter. She has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression a little while ago. She was on anti depressants but decided she didn't want to be on them anymore. I can not get her back to the drs. She makes erratic decisions and then expects me to clean up after her. I find it very hard to say no to her, there's a mothers guilt and also the emotional blackmail or cutting herself or suicide (which I'm scared will become a reality). She wants me at her beck and call 24/7 and we end up arguing if I am at work/sleeping/doing something that I can't answer her as soon as she calls (some mornings i wake up to 50 or 60 missed calls and then abusive texts). Explaning does nothing, she is irrational. Her father won't talk to her any more she does the same to him, she has only me and I'm scared if i stop she will have no one, but I think I'm also enabling her and I need to set boundries.....any suggestions with strategies are welcome. I'm at my wits end. Thank you 😊

132 replies

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In response to: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

Hi @Determined, been running around like a chook with its head cut off lately lol. We had a bit of a blow up over christmas, but all's been quiet since new years. I will try to get back on here a bit more regularly again. Hope you have been well and all is going good for you too xx

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

Well tonight is horrific! I have had to call the police to look for my daughter and file a missing persons report (just got back). She rang me this morning and the call was lovely at first, the degenerated. She told me i wasn't family and she wanted nothing more to do with me. Then this evening had 4 missed calls in quick succession. I call her back, still angry over this mornings diatribe. She had a fight with her boyfriend, had no money and nowhere to stay (she has friends who would take her in, but in her head, she can't go there for some imaginary issue). She was upset and aggressive and got more so the longer we talked. Ended up in her asking for my permission to self harm (perminant). Obviously I'm saying no and trying to keep her on the phone. I text my friend (preaggranged) to call the police. She has all her details ready in case.

They have triangulated her phone, but its a massive area. They are still looking. I rang back to see if there was any news and was told to put in a missing persons report as well.

This is the first time I have called the police over her threats.I have threatened to before, but didn't, but this can't keep on going, her and me. I'm feeling worried, guilty, sick, confused, emotionally drained, my eyes feel so tired, but I don't want to sleep in case. If the ulcers don't get me, the smoking will tonight. @Shaz51 @Determined @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

Hearing you @Janiee ....andI can sit with you awhile .....

Hugs ❣️ It’s really sucky and you’re doing well.

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope ❤. I think, well hope, it was an attention seeking thing (like every other time) but there is that chance it's not.

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

@Janiee

Sending very gentle thoughts your way.

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

More hugs incoming @Janiee ....,

My two baby dragons with mi struggles or psychosomatic.

Feeling for you so much ❣️and hoping you have received some positive news.

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

Drifted off to sleep at about 1am, woke up at 3.30 to a message from her about needing money to get a gym membership cause she wants to go at 5am....are you serious, after the night from hell you put me through??? I've been trying to get her to go to gym for ages, so i am happy about that, but the timing and her having absolutely no clue as to what she put me and others through last night just blew me away. I told the police, but because i filed the misding persons report, they have to actually sight her, so I'm sure thats going to go down like a ton of bricks.

So that is where I'm at. I did get back to sleep around 6 and have just gotten up. Thanks for all you thoughts and concern xx @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

So quick update, just had her call me to say the police pulled her over and why did i call them, why did i put a missing persons report out on her? Now she is on watch apparently. Did you know you nearly got me locked up in the mental health ward??? (I was hoping). You've ruined everyones week!! (No thought if what she did to my week and the people who I called frantically. Also, lucky its Friday cause the weeks almost over for ya 😝).

How the hell is she so oblivious to what she is doing to others and we are just trying to get her help.

Hope everyone else had a less dramatic Valentine's day ❤

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

❤️ @Janiee

In response to: Re: Help with boundry statagies

Re: Help with boundry statagies

@Janiee sending hugs your way.

Lack of insight realy does suck doesn't it.

Thinking of you and hope things improve for you.

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