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Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor26 Oct 2018, 6:10 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

One of the main reasons many expecting and new parents affected by perinatal anxiety & depression and postnatal psychosis say they don’t reach out for help is because they didn't understand what was happening to them. Many don’t realise they are ill and therefore suffer for longer than they need to. Many parents, looking back, say that if they had known more and been better able to prepare for some of the challenges they might have been better able to cope.

That’s why this year PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia - chose the theme ‘I Wish I Knew’ for PANDA Week 2018. They will be our special guests on the 13th November 2018 right here! We'll be talking about becoming a new parent and how to get help if things become tough.

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Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 8:30 or 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:02 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

yes self care does require practice. I used to love running, so I'd like to get back into that. I have just started going back to pilates at least when Mum minds the boys. for self care i also negotiated with my partner at least 1 day on the weekend i could go out by myself for an hour or two. I go to my fav cafe a read a book! or go shopping lol

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:05 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Interesting to hear people's experiences of playgroups and how they negotiated relationships.

Yes self-care is so key and different for everyone! Lots of different tools available these days - apps etc, that can really help!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 8:05 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

@dani2 - that is so great. I was a runner too! It can be tricky to get back into it initially. What you have set up for yourself sounds wonderful. I notice that its often the simple stuff that can reconnect us with ourselves. Can i ask have you noticed any positive change since you began taking this time for yourself?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

CheerBearSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:07 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I can really relate to those questions @dani2 of wondering where the 'judged' feelings are really coming from! Maybe it was a combination of all of those that you mentioned, im not sure.

Like you, I had similar kinds of ideas of that perfect parent stuff too that went out the window and I also lost friends who didn't have children. There can be so much to manage and work through!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

s-jaySenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:07 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Just wanted to also jump in and say hi to all those reading along - feel free to jump in any time, no pressure though!. Safe space here, no judgement ! 🙂

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:10 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

Elke, can definitely feel that I have a bit more room to cope. not operating at 100% 24/7 and have a bit more resilience to bounce back and deal with everything that comes a long. I look forward to it every week.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

dani2Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:10 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

thanks cheerbear its good to know Im not alone

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

CheerBearSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:13 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I think that isolation in general, along with the changes in myself and my relationship with my partner, as well as the experiences and feelings of judgement, did impact on my emotional wellbeing @Elke. I lost some confidence and become pretty full of self-doubt at times. It's hard to really pinpoint what I noticed wasn't right initially but I think when I started to isolate myself even further than I was already and bottle things up, I began to sense things weren't great.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

CheerBearSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 8:16 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

I think something fabulous about the forum @dani2 is the feeling and knowledge that we're not alone with our experiences. Being here has really highlighted that to me and helped me a lot 🙂.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

ElkeContributor13 Nov 2018, 8:17 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Becoming a new parent - "What I Wish I Knew..." PANDA // Tues 13 Nov, 7pm AEDT

@CheerBear - good point. New parenthood can be really isolating, even without perceived or actual judgement. Its also important to remember that everyone is only showing you their highlight reel. We often only talk about the positives, particularly in the public forum. That can really add to the sense of isolation where we feel like we must be the only one who feels this way.

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