Need time to myself

Wow! good on you @BlueBay ALOT has happened today. In partciular, I think it's excellent that you -

1) Told the psych exactly what you want & need.

2) He listened and is giving you the space and time to make a decision (YAY!)

3) Told a friend what you're going through and it sounds like she's super supportive.

4) You work friend opened up to you! It amazes me how many of us have experienced some form of mental health difficulty, and we only find out when we tell them what we're going through. You probably helped her feel less alone too.

How are you feeling about the hospital visit? Are your tears somewhat caused by relief of being able to go back or are you feeling quite distressed?

Big steps today, you should be really proud of yourself.

Hi @NikNik

I'm crying because I have told my friend exactly how i am feeling. She said she knew by how i have been lately that something wasn't right.

I am worried in how to tell my husband and children. How do i tell him that i need to go back to hospital. do you have any suggestions on how i can tell him. Last time i went in i told him that my psych put me in to change my meds, but that was a slight lie. OMG @NikNik I don't know what to do.

I do want to go but it means I won't get paid for the 4 days that i am in there. I so much want to go but I am a bit worried and relieved at the same time, if that makes sense.

Can anyone give me some advice. OR i just had another thoguht - do i not go at all and try to push through my negative thoughts; my self harming and suicidal thoughts. Now I am doubting my decision.

I can't even make a decision; i am struggling

Dear @BlueBayIt makes sense that you are to-ing and fro-ing about a decision when you are stressed. Life is so fast and complex that we need to make many more decisions each day than our ancestors.

I was advised not to go to hospital and push through any negative thoughts (by the CAT team) and that is my usual approach.

Now that your MIL is a bit settled can you figure out why you couldnt be straight with your husband. Has he been impatient with your needs? You will need some conversation with him before Thursday, perhaps you could brain storm in a journal and let him know you need to discuss things .. including maybe going away for weekends.

I dont know the best thing for you, we are all unique. I can get into a dither but also be calm and collected other times. Good Luck

Anxiety has set in as I haven't spoken to hubby yet. I was hoping to have spoken to him about hospital and my depression over the weekend. But we went away for the weekend to Marysville and it wasn't the 'right time' to talk about stuff like as we were enjoying the weekend.

Now I have to decide by Tuesday morning and I am stressing to the max as I can't make my decison. I have been swapping from yes to go to hospital to then no to then yes again and then no. It is doing my head in. I wish I could just make a definite answer and not change all the time.

Lovely that you had a nice weekend away together. If you can manage to contain your depression a bit you would probably mean you may not really need hospitalisation. It does not mean that your needs are not genuine and should be swept aside. What about the DBT? It does seem to be very thorough and will probably do more for you than a hospital admission anyway.

Hi @Appleblossom

I did DBT in group therapy last year. And I still see a DBT therapist. But because there are no others interested in doing the group except myself, my therapist said last week that we may just do it as a one on one.

It makes me really angry because I know what i have to do reg. distraction skills etc. but the problemm is I just don't do it. I know I am lazy and it's my fault.

With DBT my therapist says that a person needs to complete the program at least twice because the first time you do it you don't remember everything, and the second time makes sense.

I know if i can get my depression under control that maybe i won't need to go to hospital but there is still that little bit of 'escape' for me to want to go. I don't know anymore.

I think for me the hospital admission will be like a 'change in my thoughts, change in my thinking pattern' and will give me a break from the stress at the moment. It's like a 'circuit breaker' if that makes sense. My GP told me that everytimem i come out of hospital I am always better. I don't know

I am not sure either. it is up to you.

What a shame the other members of the group packed it in.

I have developed DBT style approaches to cope personally though I only heard of it as a therapy recently.

As hub has had weekend with you .. which is a great sign. Will he allow you to go away on your own weekend while he visits his mum?

Yesterday I went to a rehearsal across town and then the pub. I like the group and it was good.

Today taking it easy at home. Shopped, a little house work, should start doing dinner.