Self-compassion

Hi @CheerBear

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@CheerBear wrote:

Hi @Owlunar and anyone who might be reading and joining in. Interesting thoughts to ponder this morning in your post Dec.

I wonder where you came across the idea of the majority of people with mental health issues being women. My understanding is that rates of mental illness are pretty similar between men and women, though there are significant differences in the way they can be experienced. I definitely see value in looking at the different factors that impact mental health and general wellbeing for men and women though.

CheerBear - I started a thread in response to something I really didn't hear much about at the time - it was a few weeks ago and it was "Awareness of Women's Mental Health Week" and I was going to tag you over there and perhaps I will because I started several subjects and you know what John Lennon said - "Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans"

Well - life happened - and then when I was writing a few nights back I was about to do something about this and "bingo" - my computer went as dead as a dodo and I sat there staring at the machine and thought about when the guaratee would run out - pretty sure it hasn't

If the computer is just being difficult I can usually hear a buzzing noise or it gives me some kind of idea it is still alive - flickering screen - you know - but it was dead - crashed - nothing happening

Of course - in the morning I looked to see if the power-point connection was okay and it was not - so here I am catching up with myself - it was women's mental health issues that started me here

But men do have them too - and we have some great guys here - someone - it might have been you - wrote that women are sensitive and need other women - we share more than men about our inner lives - maybe men share with each other but all the men I have known in the normal course of my life have not been inclined to talk about their feelings - and the few men I have been close to - my father, brother, ex-h, ex-bf - other friends - not to sure what they thought about but they didn't share their inner thoughts with me

I am totally convinced that my ex-h was depressed and grieving for his father, brother and our son but he never talked about them - and we have been apart for nearly 30 years - what a long time - and in that time I have had the chance to be more kindly in my thinking about him so yes -

It was hard for him - I was hard on him because he seemed not to care much about anything - didn't share much - but inside he must have.

It adds more to the story to add this in - this man needed compassion but because he was so closed off inside himself I know now I really didn't know him and yes - now with all this extra maturity I have because I have not been thoughtless during all these years - perhaps men largely think they are supposed to be big boys and not cry but it is not right at all

They need compassion too - rightly so - maybe they really have no idea about self-compassion - maybe if my ex-h had been able to share his inner life things would have been different

Dec

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Thanks @CheerBear

You are right - in whatever way - life happens - and maybe it's great or not - but the unexpected is just that - we don't know about it ahead of time or life would be unbearable.

I will be interested to read your thoughts when you find the right head space - I seemed to lose the executive part of my brain when my old cat - Companion Cat - died a few weeks ago - she was sick - I don't know what it was - I was not going to put her through a lot of tests to find out she had a fatal feline disorder - imo that would have been cruel - like punishing her because she was sick

So - hopefully - I am over that now and the other stuff that makes up our lives at this time of year gets past too -

Thanks for your comments - I will be interested in getting to know you better too

Dec

Just dropping this here. I love spoken word. This is pretty cool 😎

https://youtu.be/bUMFZM5WBrI

I'm glad this thread has been bumped up -

The spoken word - yes - it tells us what another person is thinking, what they might br about, their frame of mind

It's how we connect

I read through this thread - so many important things were mentioned here - ideas I want to think about later

I haven't checked the link yet but I will

Dec

@Adge, @CheerBear , @Owlunar , @Teej , @frog

self -compassion is very important my friends

Thank you @Shaz51

Hi @Adge, @CheerBear , @Dec , @Teej