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Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember

Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

For this Topic Tuesday we will have a special guest from our Peer Ambassador prorgam joining us! @Stacey_N has supported her husband for 25 years and has gone on the journey with him of being diagnosed and living with Boderline Personality Disorder. She will be sharing her valuable and honest insights into supporting a loved one with BPD.

Want to receive an email reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

EK1Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@ Lauz - once my son was diagnosed with BPD I felt a sense of relief that at least we could start to make sense of the problems we had encountered with him up until that point - all the anger and frustration, his disappearing acts, his silence for days - we just didn't know which way to turn and most of time it would end in a massive row Sadly over the last few years our family dynamics of living with someone with BPD has really struggled and affected us all especially our elder son but we try to take each day as it comes and deal with each day on its own -

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Stacey_NContributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Very much the same here too.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

EK1Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@ Determined - I would agree with that and sadly that seems to be the opinion of many of our friends and family - it doesn't matter how hard we try to explain I've come to the conclusion no one really understands

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Stacey_N those struggles definitely resonate with me.

In recent times I have also come to recognise that some of my darlings accusations against me are more about feelings about herself and projecting that on to me is her way of dealing with it. Hope that makes sense.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@EK1 I can understand that being able to have a bit more knowledge and learnings around a diagnosis can help inform behaviours but it doesn't necessarily make things day to day easier. It's a good apporach to take it one day at a time and being here to learn is also a very encouraging step!

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Never_Lose_HopeCasual Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@EK1 Families seem to be in the dark about how to help and what to do. It would be good to have specialist support for partners ie information and ongoing professional care. Getting lost in the system is common.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@EK1 (by my perception) it was only after a major crisis that involved suicide attempts that members of my family began to understand. It was after a rather out of taste and in my opinion nasty remark when I responded along the lines of - you do realise she tried to .... and she was not in hospital bt choice....- that the penny started to drop,

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Stacey_N you have worked really hard with being very aware of your husbands behaviour and how to interpret them. What do you do when you are faced with some fairly upsetting or difficult behaviour – have you been able to talk to your husband about these times?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Never_Lose_HopeCasual Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Determined This is what's happening with my friend and his partner. Accusing him of things he hasn't done when all he is trying to do is support.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Stacey_NContributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member I used to become extremely hurt, often like my heart had been torn out and in the early days I would retaliate to some of the literally unbelievable things that would be said which would only escalate the situation until it made even less sense. I have had to learn that his perception of things can be way off track and perceived in a threatening, degrading or humiliating way which of course is never the case. Once the dust has settled, I sometimes talk to my husband about what I have said, what I meant, and how he perceived it. Sometimes he sees it, other times he doesn’t, at which I leave it at that. He also holds a lot of grudges, largely of his perceived interpretation of things. Some grudges he brings up are over 20 years old. It’s important that I don’t brush this off, but I deal with it through my own self talk and personal support.

How do others go about addressing behaviour that have really upset you?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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