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Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 Sept 2018, 8:40 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

For this Topic Tuesday we will have a special guest from our Peer Ambassador prorgam joining us! @Stacey_N has supported her husband for 25 years and has gone on the journey with him of being diagnosed and living with Boderline Personality Disorder. She will be sharing her valuable and honest insights into supporting a loved one with BPD.

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:23 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Never_Lose_Hope wrote:
@EK1Families seem to be in the dark about how to help and what to do. It would be good to have specialist support for partners ie information and ongoing professional care. Getting lost in the system is common.

I could not agree more.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Stacey_NContributor23 Oct 2018, 8:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Absolutely.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

JkayNew Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:24 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Hi, Im not sure if this is the correct way to post.

I have 2 children with BPD. It has taken 6 years for correct diagnosis for 21 year old. She finally has a referral for DBT which hopefully starts soon (and be effective). Yay!

The younger, now 18, is stll in process of finding the right treatment/health professional after 5 years of being dismissed as just depression & anxiety and not seeing improvement.

Its hard to see them suffering while trying to find the right help. She has dropped out of year 12. She also have Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia which makes socialsing and maintaining relationships extremely hard.

Being the carer for has taken a toll on me. Its isolating. I am thankful to have an understanding employer. Its constant hard work. I have to work hard on maintaining healthy relationships with them. It certainly builds resilience.

My main messages to my children 'I love you ' 'it wont always be this way' 'never give up' 'Im here for you anytime, just call' I feel so helpless sometimes but am determined not to give up.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Oct 2018, 8:25 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Never_Lose_Hope thats really hard - I wonder if there is some information that you could share with them or resources? Sometimes as Stacey has mentioned being able to learn more about the drivers behind behaviour can help the situations before it escalates for both carer and loved one. There are some articles on the right hand side of this thread that might help!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Stacey_NContributor23 Oct 2018, 8:28 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@EK1 There are many Carer Peer Workers coming on board now in paid positions, particularly in the clinical services who are there to support carers/loved ones. It is a growing workforce and is proving to be a great support for carers.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Never_Lose_HopeCasual Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:29 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member Thank You Any advise or information is very welcome.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

DeterminedSenior Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:30 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@Stacey_N I can relate to that also.

We can never talk about things even after the dust setles at it only leads to more anger and tension. When I was able to work I used to stay at work until late when things were not going well. It reached a point though when it was not safe to do that and constant supervision was required during a melt down.

I just try and calmly explain my position (I don't always succeed with the calm bit Unfortunately) and that I am only trying to support and leave it at that.

For me the feelings of hurt and rejection can be overwhelming. But I am getting some support in that regard now.

These forums have also been invaluable to me in being able to talk to people who really understand.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

EK1Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:31 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@ Lauz - agreed having information re behaviour doesn't make life easier but at least it helps me to understand where my son is coming from at times - my biggest sadness surrounding the whole illness is his sense of isolation - he lost all his friends when he had to leave school at 16 and so rarely goes out - he has a lovely girlfriend now but she is his world and we have seen the consequences of what happens when he goes through a break up

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Oct 2018, 8:32 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

Hi @Jkay - you have done your first post perfectly. Thanks for joining us and sharing what you are going through. We have just been talking about managing the sometimes difficult behaviours that can come up within BPD, you can always read back over the beginning of this thread later on!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

EK1Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting Your Partner Experiencing BPD // Tues 23 Oct, 7pm AEDT

@ Determined - I understand that only too well but I still feel my family don't understand even after 2 suicide attempts - they all live in the UK and when we last went home last year all I seem to get was " Well he looks fine - what's the problem?" - I just wanted to scream at them all !!!

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