Support needed, support given ~ no religon or politics please...

Dear Anna,

Thank you

You maybe need to clarify that schitzophrenia just means that sometimes you live in a dfferent world. Sometimes, it can be scary for you.

But you don't need the drama.

The only reason why I understand a little of what you are going through is that my husband lives with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia .....He explains to me that to have Schizophrenia means:

Things in the world can seem more dramatic that they are.

What some people think means nothing....... is emphasised a lot more to someone who is diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

Things in the world can seem more dramatic that they are.

I am so tired of people's wrong information on a difficult condition.

Thank you again for your lovely comments, same back to you

Namaste,

Anne

@Former-Member

I an glad you responded about what in particular bothered you. I respect your communications and definitely your right to a pension. I am shocked that you thought I meant that. I had so much paranoia when I was very introverted and did not express anything.It was really hard to start just letting things come out and I have tried to describe that, leaving myself open, I know. I dont mean for anyone to internalise a general statement I make. I did not mean that anyone was sicker than anyone else. I just thought @Jacques was not on centrelink, like my son, so that was why I said that. I am on DSP. I read recently that my father had been granted an invalid pension but he died too suddenly to collect it.

But I can see how it could be understood that way. Sorry it triggered you. One of my bugbears in life is lack of certainty .. I was probably trying to overcompensate and got too confident ...

Generally I do not believe in advice .. I say it again and again because I believe it is important.... and is why I have opened myself up so much .. coming from my own experience rather than telling others what to do. I have overcome & solved a few of life's curved balls but still have plenty to learn.

Personally I believe schizophrenia is far too complex an experience, word, illness to be glib about. People who are given the diagnosis vary so greatly it can be a very misleading word. Short posts can never do it justice. I am so sick of people presuming that people with schizophrenia do not have ethics, intelligence, morality, follow-through or insight or that it is due to bad decisions ... hmmm ... . It is part of the impetus behind a lot of my posting ... but not to be taken as a criticism. You have made very responsible choices with very few material or supportive resources. I really wanted to support you in that. So did my father and my sister and my mother who all had that diagnosis. I am probably more schizoaffective .. but maybe that is just forewarned is fore armed .. I dont know. They are also just long words and I am trying to find shorter words these days.

Thinking of you .. taking son busking.

Hi @Appleblossom & @Former-Member,

I am so sorry i have missed party of this conversation, i am on DSP but from 2007 - 2014 i was on no income at all, no welfare, no work, nothing but mums kindness to spend her life savings on me.

I always feel so guilty i am on DSP, It is a shame people expecially Government officials state and federal, and mental health professionals and organisations dismiss mental illness and the way in which it is dibilitating. to say to someone who has a mental illness to "Just go and get a job" is really harmful to a persons well being expecially when one tries so hard to be part of society and conform to societies rules and expectations.

I am so sorry i have distressed you @Appleblossom and @Former-Member. i am heart broken. i never meant to trigger anyone, i should have been more mindful of what i said. i will be more mindful in the future.

Sorry ladies. please be safe and please forgive me.

Jacques

hi @Former-Member

you've done so well to ask for clarification on things that were worrying you. I hope that you feel reassured that people were able to reply and explain.

I can definitely appreciate how noone really knows how we're each going internally... sometimes i feel like im barely holding it all together and people around me reall don't know how low i am because they just see me as coping because i get up and look after the kids and make it to work (mostly!) lol. but we each have our own unquantifiable difficulties... and on the flip side strengths and achievements.

hoping you're ok,

hugs

LJ

Hi @Appleblossom, @Jacques & @Former-Member.....

Thank you all for your kindness....

Please understand that I have 'the feeling' I have had in the past before a psychotic break - I don't exactly know how to describe it & I'm really scared - I don't think it would be wise to reduce my antipsychotic again this year & have scrapped that rough plan (I still don't know when my 2nd surgery will be either!) - I have to try to 'hold on to my sanity' so to speak, so these last nearly 2 years of reducing medication are not wasted if I end up in hospital - knee jerk reaction of doctors if you are in a psychotic episode is to put you right back up on maximum dose. I googled "pre psychosis" as I couldn't remember the term I learnt when studying psychology - prodrome phase - I tick most of the boxes - it is a scary place to be...

It has been hard for me to ask for clarification, because I worried if I came across as nasty or if I would somehow upset someone. I'm glad I didn't upset you @Appleblossom.... I hope I didn't upset @PeppiPatty... I actually emailed NikNik, as I thought maybe the only way to resolve my paranoia was to have all my posts deleted - she was very kind, thoughtful & reassuring... & asked me to think about how it could be resolved differently.

@Jacques nothing you said made me paranoid... Some people in government do realise mental ill health can be debilitating... In 2008 I had a review of my DSP - I had just started uni again & I told the occupational therapist that I would like to get a casual job too - she said it was not a good idea. Earlier that year I had been in my own world for 3 months & even though I was living more in reality again - I still believed my mum was trying to seriously harm me (& I did mention this in the interview, because it was completely real for me - & was until 2010) In 2012 I voluntarily went to a centrelink psychologist to get a referral to a job agency. The support worker at the job agency told me I was to sick to work, because I had schizophrenia. I was still at uni, but wanted to work as well so I could afford to live with my partner. So the job agency wouldn't help me, but I continued to send out resumes & letters of application - retail & admin (I had food retail, waitress & children's party entertaining job's prior to my nervous breakdown in 2003 & since then a 3 month part time casual job as a florist while studying at tafe - 2007 & a casual admin job in 2011 while studying psychology) I sent out about 35 & only got 1 interview, so I got a admin volunteer job to try to gain experience to get paid employment - I 'broke' myself again & had the worst semester at uni ever & even though I tried for 3 semesters after that to go back to uni - I couldn't - I also feel it has to do with going on this particular antipsychoitc at that time, which I stayed on, because all the others caused weight gain that was extremely distressing for me - especially with a history of anorexia...Anyhow, I'm blabbering... Partners in Recovery told me there is talk of a "complex care plan" that will give more medicare funded psychology visits to people with chronic, severe mental ill health... sounds like it is a long way off though. The NDIS is coming to my area in mid 2017 - I'm still not exactly sure what they are going to do, but Partners in Recovery are offering to help people to transition to them.... Blabberring again...

@Appleblossom yes varying experiences can't be described in these labels we are given - I totally agree.

@Former-Member Thank you for taking the time to give me some kindness & support - I often wonder how you are managing work & looking after your kidlets on top of your own mental ill health. Thanks for expressing your understanding - at the moment I feel like people see me going to yoga & smiling & think that means I can work or study - I've had a few people suggest either & it is quite distressing, as I know probably at the max I would last 2 weeks in a job at the moment - but even the process of applying would cause great distress, as my resume is incredibly sparse & yep if you do get 1 interview out of 35 - the questions about gaps etc are very hard to answer....

I have been trying to express myself for about 30 minutes now, so I'm tired....

Namaste,

Anna

Hello @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Jacques, @Appleblossom, @PeppiPatty

How is everyone ??

have been reading all your messages , and yes people can`t believe my husband has a mental illness , thay say he looks alright , just get up and get a job -- but he can`t

and then people think we are on a pension and I say No we are not

and centrelink wants us to give up the business and get a job -- that is impossible and now my hubby is now losing his self confidence -- wants me to be with him all the time

DEarest @Former-Member

I find you one of the most imtelligent and expressive ladies. You help me understand so much.

Thank you.

I also recognise and care greatly for what @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Jacques write and say thank you so much.

It is very hard to give up what you are able to do in the past.

Anne

Oh @Shaz51,

I am so sorry to hear your Husbands mental health is deteriorating, it is so sad, i know he has you as a great support for where ever his health takes him.

my thoughts and well wishes are with you both.

Thank you for understanding @Former-Member, thank you all for understanding

Jacques

Hello @Jacques

sending you hugs my friend