Support needed, support given ~ no religon or politics please...

Hi @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Jacques @Shazab @Appleblossom

This conversation is so so interesting for myself.

I know of a person diagnosed with Schizophrenia and he cannot get on DSP. He is not coping at all. It is so distressing for me and my husband ........not just him but maybe from living in public housing, we meet other people who just get on DSP.

Yes, @Former-Member.....agree agree. My husband's brain just broke when he was 21 years old. Mine brokef rom stress when I was about 42 years old. Mine was complete stress.

@Former-Member I was looking for @Jacques and I've found him here. Hello @Jacques, how are you ?

@Former-Member it's really good that you can show yourself to your partner. It's great to trust someone.

Like very much saying hello to all

Anne

Hi my dear friend @PeppiPatty,

I am struggling, but trying to get through each day, it warms my heart to know so many here still remember me, i thought you would have all forgotten me by now.

How is hubby, son and Mr Arlo? how are you? it is so wondeful you are still here offering support and guidance, you always bring a smile to my face, i love your style of writing.

Take care my friend.

Jacques

Hi @PeppiPatty....

Good to 'see' you! I haven't been around much either @Jacques & I do miss quite a few of you, but can't keep up with Night Shift - I haven't been to Friday Feast for a few weeks either, as I was getting a bit depressed reading about everyone eating animals & animal products.... I think I need to go when I can to share what delicious 100% kindness food you can eat! Tonight we are having spaghetti bolognese- made with TVP - it is like a soy 'mince' that you buy dry from health food stores.... I am really hungry & my partner has it all prepared, but he is stuck on his phone - facebook I think, grrrrr... Today I got so frustrated, because most of the time we were sitting at the vegan cafe (apart from cow's milk or they wouldn't make enough $$ to stay in business in Toowoomba - there are some 100% vegan cafes in Brisbane) after my vinyin yoga & his cycling - he was facebooking - I make a point to TRY not to look at & use my phone too much when I am with people & usually he doesn't do it as much as he did it today.... I asked him who he was talking to & he said some random cycling person & arghhhhh....

Well my anxiety levels are rising... I can feel it in my chest - I've been really hungry all day & have eaten more than I have been lately - I'm very hungry again & being hungry makes me physically anxious these days... Oh yay, he just got up & is going out to the 'kitchen'.... phew

I actually realised I think I was giving medical certificates for more than a year - maybe 1.5+ I can't remember much of the application process due to ECT. I think they do have to strict guidelines for giving DSP, so that it is economically viable for the country - but people who really do need it fall between the gaps. Sometimes people who you don't know well, but know they receive it - may look fine & able to work - like @Jacques says people think of him? & maybe some of the people in the housing commissions @PeppiPatty? I don't know why they wouldn't give it to someone with schizophrenia though - how long has he been diagnosed? I hope they eventually give it to him....

Yes, I was 21 too @PeppiPatty....

I'm really exhausted AGAIN... I wanted to watch The Wrong Girl last night & had to go to bed - I was just crashing - an encore is on at 9:40 tonight - I will try to stay up, but might not make it!

Yoga is planned for the next 3 days...

I have a novel I 'should' start reading tomorrow....

There is thunder, so hopefully we get some rain - as I didn't water the garden this afternoon + we always need more rain!

I'm blabbering, sorry - very anxious, so sorry if I'm not articulating myself well......

Namaste,

Anna

My darling friend Anna,

I thinkyou have too many expectations on yourself. I do admit that it has taken me years and years to get into a routine but do you think that you and your partner can do a day timetable for you?

Something like : 7am; wake up

7;15am : shower glass of water.

7;30am get dressed. meditation.

8am: read book

9am yoga

and so on. It may make things easier for you. I wonder if you know that you really know your own body......it's so good to read.

THis is somethong that is very rare in someone with Schitzophrenia.

You are not blabbering. I love reading your messages.... Love Anne

I agree with @PeppiPatty that you are not blabbering @Former-Member.

Now that I also know lots of normal people ... I have seen that it is normal to many of the things .. that if we are diagnosed with a mental illness we become self critical about.

Maybe start a vegan thread ... just keep to this thread as your home.

Tomorrow we are eating vegan again ... more people are learning about plant based diets. My vegan friend got a DSP very easily and I would like to know how ... and under what criteria .. so will ask tomorrow.

Some people do abuse the privilege of our social security system .. not you @Former-Member or @PeppiPatty and certainly not @Jacques he is like my son and tries to stay out of it altogether.

I used to be paranoid about so many things ... if I make a mistake in posting ... I dont mean to offend .. I would hope people would be able to say it ... and I HOPE I can cope without getting too defensive.

I really appreciated your stand about posting the links about research into side effects @Former-Member. It seemed very responsible.

I have accepted staying on my moderate level of meds for a while longer.

Sorry, I can't respond properly - I feel paranoid about some things in your replies, but it is not your fault... I just don't want you to think I'm ignoring you, but I just need to take a break.

Take care all

Namaste

Hi Anne @PeppiPatty....

Thank you for your kind words....

I do have a routine of sorts....

Laundry day is Monday or Wednesday, as on both these days there is no yoga sessions in the mornings (I have never been to a night session - mainly because my partner drives me & there is not much for him to do in Toowoomba at night - at all! Also I usually have more energy to exercise in the morning) - On Monday there is a pilates session & I have gone 2 x to a pilates class in the last month & 1/2.... I think it is good to mix it up a bit for a change - I would like to mix it up a bit with some running & some swimming - now it is warmer... Sometimes I see my psychologist or psychiatrist on Wednesday (or Thursdays).

Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays are all usually yoga at 9:30 - I leave at 8:40 to get there apx 15 minutes early. Sometimes I also go on Thursdays if I am not seeing one of my health professionals (who are both in Brisbane - 1.5 hours away...) I go to yoga (& pilates) up to 5 x a week, but on average it happens 4 x a week lately - although it can only happen 2 x a week some weeks if I get bad headaches (side effects of medications) or I am just too tired, too depressed or have 2 x appointments in a week in Brisbane.

I wake up at different times every day - lately I have been waking up early - before 7. I always set my alarm for 7:30 on yoga days, but if I am extra tired I will snooze it a few times! I usually spend time on my computer scrolling facebook & reading interesting articles about health, yoga, running etc. if I am up early.... As well as teeth brushing, face washing, nutrition etc.

I do need to start to include a guided meditation into my days! Even though yoga does include meditation.

After yoga I usually go to a cafe for a tumeric-chai latte or decaf piccolo with my partner - that is what you would call our "dates" - I think it helps keeps me sane - although sometimes we have big bills & can't afford it - like next fortnight we have to pay our car rego etc etc or we run out of $$ at the end of the fortnight.... I will be having surgery on the Wednesday 26th, so I think yoga will be out of the question for the rest of that week anyhow....

Reading depends on whether or not I have an enjoyable novel to read & I don't like to set a time for reading - at different stages of a good novel I get so engrossed I want to try to read as much as possible... The last good novel I read was One Plus One by Jojo Moyes (She wrote Me Before You, which was triggering - but well written). I have We Never Asked For Wings to read by Vanessa Diffenbaugh next (I read a novel by her - The Language of Flowers & enjoyed it) - it came in the mail on Tuesday.

I try to water the garden in the afternoon before I have a shower at apx 5pm - the alcoholic is *usually* under the house drinking at 5pm, so I usually go then....

I spend time with my partner & kittens watching TV &/or DVDs at night (unless I *must* finish a novel)

So that is my routine of sorts...

Yes, I do put lots of expectations on myself & I am slowly letting them go - as I realise they are actually societal expectations that I have personalised... I used to be a perfectionist, which was a part of my experience with anorexia - but I have mostly let go of that & realise that perfection can only be found in imperfection...

Why do you say knowing your own body is rare in someone with schizophrenia? I chatted in schizophrenia chat rooms for 4 years & I met people with a range of symptoms & levels of insight. When people here say 'that is rare for someone with schizophrenia' - it makes me feel like I am not believed & that my pain is invalidated in some way - I'm not saying that was your intention, but it just makes me paranoid & niggles away at me - I am often not participating in the forums lately, as they are often too much for me to handle.... I know you have a kind heart Anne - I just get a bit paranoid.... & like I said the paranoia is worse at the moment, so I'm trying to clarify with people if I can - that is what my psychiatrist told me to do last year - I had to do it with her recently....

I hope you & your husband are well Anne & coping 'okay'.....

Namaste,

Anna

Hi @Appleblossom....

My partner's sister got DSP on the day of application basically, as she had a brain tumor, which was causing epilepsy (with medication it shrunk & she is tumor free now, so no longer on DSP) There are many "invisible illnesses"

Why did you say "certainly not Jaques" - it is has just made me paranoid that you are single outing him as far sicker than me & others? I'm not here to say who is suffering the most - I don't believe pain can be compared as such.... I don't believe I could tell from reading these forums the full degree of struggle/suffering/pain in an individual - in their present or past.

I don't want to start a vegan thread - I do not 'preach' veganism & have only ever said small snippets about my choice to live this lifestyle - I mainly tell people what food I am eating.... which happens to always be vegan.

I am aware I am being defensive & I'm sorry, but I don't know how else to try to clear up & challenge these paraniod thoughts...

Be well,

Namaste,

Anna

Dear Anna,

I am sorry. I should have thought of this. Thank you for writing to me. I feel very special that you wrote to me.

I meant it in a very good way. It feels that you are a lot more intelligent and aware in a good way than me.

I am proud of you.

Namaste,

Anne

Hi Anne @PeppiPatty,

Thank you for your kind response & clarifying...

Yes, I do have insight....

...but at times I have not had insight & that is really really scary when you live in your own psychotic dimension - your own unique world & you have no idea why everyone just treats you like you are strange & talking in riddles when everything is so so real.... I'm scared that will happen again.... Anyhow....

Thank you for your kindness - you truly do have a kind heart....

Namaste,

Anna