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Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember18 June 2018, 2:50 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Life throws up a range of stressors that can impact us is unique ways. Discomfort isn’t generally something we like to feel so when those strong emotions come along, it can be hard to know what to do to manage.

Distress tolerance is all about learning how to deal with strong emotions. So join us, to answer the question, “how do you cope when you feel like you can’t?”

Share your experiences of coping with uncomfortable emotions. What works? What doesn’t? And what would you like to do more of to support you on your recovery journey? 🐼

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Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

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Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

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183 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

emiweenaCasual Contributor17 July 2018, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Thanks @CheerBear ! That’s a great strategy!

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember17 July 2018, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

The alternative to trying to rid yourself of distress, is to adopt an attitude of radical acceptance. This doesn’t mean, being resigned to feeling miserable. Instead, it means accepting distress as it is, because it’s already there, and instead, changing the way we pay attention to the emotion. Changing the way we react by being more accepting, can actually change the effect the emotion has on you.

What do you think about the idea of accepting emotions rather than pushing back against them? Have you tried this before? How has it worked?

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Unknown userMember17 July 2018, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Hi all late to the discussion.... As usual but I have very limited tolerence for distress and find lately even my self care tasks distress me such as breaking down because I can't find the last piece to my puzzle or my pens for colouring don't work

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

ladygraceCasual Contributor17 July 2018, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

I've learnt in Schema therapy about how my early years have developmentally shaped my adult years. I've learnt to see that those sides of myself or schemas serve a purpose from a child's perspective and now as I act them out as an adult. It's moving forward from a maladaptive response learnt in childhood into learning to respond from a healthy adult mode now. For example I scored very high on a schema called vulnerable child, this still shows up in me as sadness and my needs not getting met, it elevates into another schema - angry child, when the vulnerable child is ignored. I react in this way, with feeling intense sadness then intense anger as an adult now. I talk to the vulnerable child from the point of view a healthy adult - saying things like I hear you, I know you are sad, I understand why you are here when I feel that way.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Zoe7Senior Contributor17 July 2018, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

I am finding that radically accepting emotions becomes easier (as all things) with practice. It does rely on being able to identify the emotion first (as others have talked about here). The idea that we can feel the emotion, accept that we are having that emotion and then try to move on from that is very much dependent on the sitution too

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 July 2018, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Hello I am late, but have read the thread and find it interesting in a neurotypical way.

I hear the lady who says it is a luxury to be able to reflect and stop and take care when in the midst of child raising, especially when there are a few children.

I am listening to a talk by Christian Stewart-Ferrar on Aspergers/Autistic. SO once again I feel I relate in that way rather than typical DIstress Tolerance Assumptions. Though some of the insight have helped me late in life after all the major life decisions and parenting have occurred.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

Sans911Senior Contributor17 July 2018, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member@Former-Member

My kitten Jasper would really like to make some input; he's got some great ideas and is very enthuastic! Read that as jumping all over the computer haha

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

utopiaSenior Contributor17 July 2018, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member changing the way we react to an emotion. Logically that sounds like the best way to tackle it.

It will be the tackling of it. The practicing.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

HayleyCContributor17 July 2018, 8:15 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

I have tried using ACT approaches to accept your emotion and to 'ride the wave' so to speak with my anxiety. At first it's quite difficult to change your behaviour from avoidance to acceptance, but I found that over time it was easier to sit with the emotion. Doing this allowed my brain to know and remember that the emotion will eventually pass, it won't be like this forever, and that the emotion will not consume you (even though it may seem like it at the time).

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor17 July 2018, 8:15 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday // Distress Tolerance // Tues 17 July, 7pm AEDT

I've been working on accepting emotions for years.

Intellectually I do accept them, & try to label them.

Emotionally, my reaction (wish) is to push them away, or to get rid of them - which I cannot do, & which doesn't work.

So we're getting there, or part-way...

Adge

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