My life partner has Bipolar ii

Thank you for sharing this @Former-Member

I think I allowed Mr D's hopelessness to rub off onto myself and I found that I had unnecessarily abandoned doing things that brought me joy (which thankfully I have resumed) such as trying a new recipe and catching up with friends for coffee.

When I have spoken to health professionals about our situation @Former-Member, I have kept hearing this statement and question ....

”I have heard about everything that is happening in your family, and everything you have done to try to help them ..... but what I am not hearing is what you are doing for you ...... so what are you doing for you ?”

It’s an important question to be able to answer.

but what I am not hearing is what you are doing for you ...... so what are you doing for you ?” very true @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member

so what am I doing for Me ????

Moving beyond the hopelessness that I felt involved examining the evidence and coming to realise that there are possibilities, that life can again be meaningful even though different to how I thought it should be.

Yes @Former-Member ... it means letting go of dreams and expectations at times, which can be a real challenge, but to attain something better we have to relinquish first.

I am still hoping to retain an essence of what our life has been, but I have to wait and see where the path leads, and accept that there may have to be a letting go of a good many things yet.

I am trying to be brave about it, but also trying not to cross bridges before we come to them. Only time will tell.

Good for you that you are finding new ways to move forward ❣️

There are still times that I feel afraid @Faith-and-Hope

I understand @Former-Member, and I do too .....

My mr. is really, and I mean really, feeling the cold at the moment and it’s not That Cold yet ..... I don’t know how much is attributable to his Raynaud’s Syndrome, or whether the cold that a person with an ed feels is happening as well, masked by the R.S. symptoms ..... and how cold is Too Cold ..... and nobody to ask, because they would have to assess him to be able to give an answer ..... and he is unlikely to flag the doctor to it, thinking it’s all R.S. related coldness ...... so I am left in the position of having to trust ......

Cant see the pilot-lights.

Its important to own that fear though, and not subverse it. That can cause problems for ourselves. Part of owning it is being able to talk about it, as we are here.

Thank God for the forums.

Very important to acknowledge fear and learn how to tackle it head on, when fear comes knocking I try not to let it in the door.

When there is uncertainty finding things we can do that give us some sense of control in the chaos that is, activities such as weeding the garden or sorting an untidy drawer can help build resilience.

No matter our age, being able to positively contribute to lives of others helps sustain us and I am thinking in gardening terms that even when our residential situation is under question, we can still bloom where we are planted, but perhaps as a pot plant - moveable.

Pot plants are very much a part of my married-into culture @Former-Member. I am thinking of us being pot plants in our situation, as much as I have craved roo-ts..... it doesn’t look like that will work for us for the next few years at least ..... and a least I will have home bases (plural) ..... so better those home bases are organised as best I can manage.

I had a girlfriend who was moving from rental to rental every year or so when my kids were small ..... I kept seeing her unpack her home from the boxes into a different sized and shaped house, but it was very quickly every inch her home just by her, her family, and all there special things being arranged in it.

That example taught me a lot.