My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Faith-and-Hope gives new meaning to "going to pot" 😀

Am hearing you @Faith-and-Hope I too would like to put down ro-oots, the doing something of value whilst waiting is the hard bit.

Yes it is @Former-Member.

The devastation of our new arrangements affected my health early in the year. I have taken that as a warning to roll with the punches, and now solutions are happening that are specific to how we are placed (not actually “placed” because it’s somewhat nomadic) ..... but the ability to be in both places, although unorthodox, seems to be healing things and garnering support in a way I could never have dreamed of. My part has been to go with the he flow.

Another symptom of BPii is hypomania which is a period of excessive enthusiasm which is less out of control and thus less relational, social, financial or occupationally damaging as the mania of bipolar. It can evolve into mania and can be followed by a deep depression.

Friends would describe Mr D as being enthusiastic but when he became hypomanic things ramped up. At that stage he was not diagnosed and I was confused by what was happening. I was embarrassed by some of his behaviours and he thought I was putting a dampener on everything.

Another symptom of BPii is hypomania --- WOW @Former-Member, that is what it is called

I always wondered what to call those days

@Shaz51 Mr D looks back at some of these days as 'good times' but the reality was quite different, he could not understand why others could not see merit in a few of his ideas.

... or wonder why people didn't appreciate a bone crunching handshake, being hugged and lifted off the ground at the same time (even though they were in their 60s), why it wasn't necessary to letterbox the neighborhood to invite them to parties we were hosting ...

It continues to be a long road back from a major psychotic depressive episode and I long for Mr D to have more moments of joy and happy emotions without returning to the hypomanic over the top behaviours. It is so hard for me to tell the difference but see glimpses of both.

I am seeing that with my hubby and son. @Former-Member,and at times with my daughter. My son is helping me to some extent, because he is opening up and explaining his new “rules”, as in how this thinking is now being governed, and where previously he was able to respond one way, now there is an inflexibility in place, like an invisible wall that seemingly only he can see ..... but my daughter can see it too ..... she has the understanding of his “new” thinking because she has the same inherent patterns. It’s like a dialect.

That in turn helps me to see that these are also mr’s inherent patterns, aside from the obvious behaviours, and it’s clear that the kids “feel” what he is going through .....

When the storm clears I think it will be a case of accepting that some changes to personality have occurred somewhat permanently, but others are likely to transition back to somewhere near where they were before. It is my impression that we can help that transition by providing “pilot lights” .... gently mapping out the social expectations again, of personal boundaries and social niceties.

At the moment, mr. is swinging around between being oppositional to help, to accepting help, to seeking help, to ignoring help .... and that might remain as our new status quo. He will be governed by comfort levels, methinks, and gravitate towards change when he feels a lessening of stress and tension in the new direction.

Conversation openers might be -

“You might find it more comfortable if you .... “

”Other people might find it more comfortable if you .... “

”Some people tend to find it a bit off-putting if you ..... “

”Probably they are expecting you to ..... “

I hope this helps.

In hypomania, these suggestions are often seen as being fuddy duddy @Faith-and-Hope. When hype, Mr D would smilingly tell people that I had told him not to hug and pick up adults (I had mentioned it was inappropriate and people often had back problems etc) but he would not modify his behaviour. Some who experienced this asked him not to lift, but had to do so repeatedly ...

That’s hard @Former-Member ..... and it sounds like that might be the learning pattern - repeated requests, or even people getting upset with him.

Hugs. I am experiencing some of the same, but it involves “railroading” and comes across as arrogance.