Hi Change - I think isolation and loneliness is a really tough eal. I've been there - and although now moved to a somewhat more accessible area, still it is a challenge.
a few very practical ideas
1) could you set a commitment for yourself that you will do that long drve, once a wekk or even once a fortnight, regularly, if it's not too much - to aattend something that's nourishing and with others? that way you've always got something you're looking forward to
2) although you live on a farm, are there others in the area you could meet up with even occassionally for some kind of community get-together? even just to play cards / boardgames / have a book club? starting up something like this could be a great local project - as I bet there are others out there, in your wider region - who feel the same way
3) when we worry about whether we say things which are odd / talk too much in shops / being the person who says "weird things" - well, we could turn that around the other way. ie; the world needs people llike us, who think and say something surprising and different and have another take on things, otherwise it would be boring and we'd be repeating same old same old narrow conversations, day after day - maybe sometimes it's nice for those shop keepers, that some is catting with them and has something different to say. enjoy it!
4) do you have animals? not livestock, I mean - but a pet you could bond with? it helps (and on that note - a regional dog-lovers /cat-lovers/snake-charmers club could be a social event?)
5) yup, your husband is busy, tired, etc - and for sure he sounds like a good man. but we all need joy and play and quality time. maybe there could be a deal between you, where you play cards or do something else you both enjoy, for an hour or so, one eve a week.
6) is there aa local church you could go to, even just sometimes? in my view - and I hope Christian folk would agree - you don't have to feel you're committed in faith, in order to attend. it's still people coming together in community? even if you don't "believe" - you could consider that you are also making a contribution by attending...... without any people, there'd be no congregation
these are just ideas, that might help spark new sense of possibility. and keep chatting with folk here - I hope that helps take care. JK
