Why are they taking advantage of me?

Hi @Amanda

Welcome to the SANE Forums!

It's terrible to feel like your family and friends don't take you, and your concerns seriously. While you've tried being proactive to address your concerns with with your family, it seems they've been unsupportive, denying and not acknowledging the impact of their actions. I imagine that this would leave you feeling hurt, invalidated, taken advantage of, and unsure of whom you can trust.

I can see how this issue would feel be hard to resolve with your family members unwilling to take your concerns seriously or to provide you with advice.

Can I ask how long has this been going on? Do you have someone you can talk to that you trust (e.g., a close friend, counsellor, doctor)?

CherryBomb

This has been going on for about 10 years. At first it was just a few people involved but it has escalated to the point where now there are too many people involved to count. I have managed to mostly stay away from these family members for the last 2 years, but it appears they have now involved many others who are for some reason so willing to give me a hard time. I have asked at my doctor for counsellor recommendations but the person I spoke to refused because she thought my illness was not real. I have since changed doctors but have not asked them yet. Some other help agencies I have contacted have not responded to my counsellor request and another one gave me a list, but I am having a bit of trouble finding the courage to go there. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I don't want to go to the counsellor alone, and I don't know what to do.

Hi @Amanda

10 years sounds like a long time to be going through such an ordeal.

I'm sorry to hear that you didn't get the support you were hoping for from your doctor, and that they didn't think your illness was real. That makes me sad to hear that you reach out for support and wasn't helped.

Can I ask when you were diagnosed and who diagnosed you? I ask because I wonder if they would be able to help as they would understand the illness that you have. Is it possible to go back to that clincian?

It's great to hear that you have been reaching out for support. You're right, it does take courage to open up. And after what you've been through, I can see how it might be challenging to speak with someone new. Do you have someone that could go with you to an appointment? A friend maybe?

If not, what would you need to get yourself to an appointment? For instance, would it help to speak to others about what to expect at the first appointment?

The last time I told my concerns to a psychiatrist he said that it's not true because families love each other and he asked me why they would do that. I said that I didn't know and he increased my medication. That was some years ago, but I could try returning to that clinic again. It's the only mental health clinic that I know of, I'm currently with the GP.

I also have a brother that would go with me to the appointment, but due to the extent that my other relatives lied about and covered up what they were doing he will probably think I'm having another breakdown. I don't have any obvious symptoms and I take my meds as required. I am already on a high dose even though I'm not sure that I need it. They do not see what has been going on and although they will support me it would be the wrong kind of support, which just makes my situation worse.

Do you feel comfortable talking with your GP? He may be able to give you a referral to a psychologist. From my understanding, medicare can give you rebate for up to 6 session, and possible another 4 - 6 if you need more. Unlike phychiatrists, psychologist don't prescribe meds, but will be able to talk things through with you with talking therapies.

It sounds like an isolating experience with your family not understanding your point of view, and not giving you the support you're after. It might be helpful to at the least, get some support from someone outside of your family circle in which you're experiencing these problems.

OK i'll see what I can do. Also I'm not actually in Australia, I live in New Zealand, I couldn't find any online support here. Thank you for all your words and advice because I couldn't find any help with this problem locally. I've only been with my new GP for a couple of months but I'll see what he says at my next appointment.

You're most welcome @Amanda.

Sorry, I didn't realise you were in NZ. I'm not sure how services are there in terms of government rebates.

Let us know how you go.

Also, feel free to join in on other threads. We're having a (virutal) Christmas Party here, and we're going to have a dinner party on Friday here. It might be a good opportunity to 'meet' other members, and maybe get some other people's thoughts on your situation.

Hello @Amanda

It is important to get some good support from a counsellor of some type. All counsellors have their biases. They may be trained in different therapy styles and have different unresolved issues hanging around from their own families. So they may jump to the wrong conclusion about your experiences. Keep trying to find one who suits you.

I dont know why families can be so cruel to each other. I have seen it in my own family and in other families. Sadly it is not unusual. I believe we all have the right to live with some dignity.

Welcome to the forum.