Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia

Hi sweetheart, im sorry for delay in responding, as per usual lol

Last couple of days have been crap.

Good on you for giving yourself some down time and allowing your body to recuperate. So you gonna do the walk tomorrow morning?

I tried taking mum out for a drive the past few days but she wasn’t up to it, she was feeling low so I’ll try again on Sunday when I go to see her. my best friend’s cousin is getting married tomorrow – she has asked me to go with her so I’ll give visiting mum a miss. And yes, I will fill up the petrol tank lol!

As for mum’s treatment, they have stopped one of the anti psychotics – im glad they did as I didn’t believe she needed to be on two. I am thinking they may need to increase her anti depressant though. The swelling has also come down in her legs so they have halved the medication they were giving her for that. They are taking care of her physical illnesses and mental illness. and also regularly monitoring her kidney function. The social worker rang me today and said the pdoc has organised a family meeting for next Wednesday where they will discuss mum’s progress and treatment. Social worker asked if I wanted my sister to be there – I had to hold back from laughing! I said “no, there is no point her being there, plus mum doesn’t want to have anything to do with her” … she asked if I wanted my uncle there (the one that had a go at me for not coping cause of my MI). I told her no as at the end of the day I am the one dealing with this. yes, he visits mum but when it comes to caring for her, that is solely on my shoulders. She said think about it, blah blah blah lol. This week I did have the carer liaison officer come out to see me – she was lovely and she said that she will attend any family meeting with me if I want support. I rang her today and she said she will come to the meeting with me. she was lovely, and I really warmed to her.

Sweet re: the $90 – sounds like it came in very handy. Awesome that you enjoyed the market research. Wow, a full tank to see your pdoc? Not cheap having physical and/or mental illness hey?? So that is on Monday that you have your appt yes?

So pleased to hear you are feeling better too, and I think it is a good idea you chat to your pdoc about it all on Monday.

Yeah, my bestie is really struggling. I think im burning out a bit though, trying to be there for her as much as I am. I need to be mindful of that. She saw a psychiatrist on Thursday which im pleased about. I texted her not long ago to see how she was and she is really struggling tonight – she misses the kids, her ex, their dog, her home, everything ☹ I cant begin to imagine what she is going through. Also, cause of the disassociation she doesn’t remember a lot of stuff that happened. She remembers things that her and I did together, and time she spent with the kids (I think that is because there was no trauma attached to these things. but there are a lot of other things that happened that she has no recollection about (mainly about situations between her and her husband and people she met and interacted with. She had a new circle of friends that she met online. I met them - meh, not my cup of tea but she seemed to enjoy their company. so a lot of things she is hearing for the first time, and it is very overwhelming for her.

What have you been up to luv? much on this weekend? I started a new thread. I will tag you in it luv.

Ooh, how is your son and your mama?

xxx

@utopia

Hi luv, how are you?

The wedding was nice. Was a bit of a drive but I enjoy driving. We didn’t stay until the end though. At one stage we ended up sitting in the bridal suite (a private room just for the bridal suite lol) and cried and cried! Too many heightened emotions for both of us – she was finding it tough being at a wedding so soon after separating from her husband, and I had so much going through my mind and kept getting triggered. After saying all though though, it was nice to get out and we had each other for support. She wanted to leave before they had the first dance as that would have really upset her. I told her I was happy to leave when she wanted to. It was nice to get dressed up and go though. We ended up going for hot chocolate on the way home 😊

Did you go for the 5km walk yesterday?

Ooh, how was the Gurrumul doco you saw last night?

And how did the cleaning go today? House looking spick and span??? I think I told you that mum gets fortnightly domestic assistance (vacuuming, mopping and cleaning bathroom) however, cause mum is in hospital they have suspended it. I did the vacuuming a couple of weeks ago – omg my back was not happy! House stays generally clean – I’ll do it in another couple of weeks lol … it’ll keep until then!

Mum wasn’t up to going for a drive today. We did sit outside though. She wasn’t having a good day though, was feeling quite low, and wanting me to buy her more stuff from the shops … I tried to be assertive with her. We discussed other stuff as well but I am worried about what will happen when she comes back home. My head is all over the place atm luv. I can’t live with restrictions that she is wanting to place on me. She said if I don’t like it, I can move out. She can’t stay on her own though. I explained to her that I live with her, I am helping her and want to feel that it is my home but it’s not fair if there are restrictions on me. She said that is how it will be from now on. I was exhausted after the visit so I went for a drive – for 2 hours. I find driving on the freeway with my music on is calming.

I had a quick look on your thread and saw something about the centrelink letter – I will pop over there now and have a better read and respond to it luv.

It sucks when our sleep is out of whack – it makes a big difference doesn’t it? I do hope you can get it back on track.

Oh, and to make things more interesting today I texted my sister about getting rid of some of her stuff that is here at the house. She has furniture in our garage plus she has stuff for the tip that is out the back. She said she is moving house (again). I told mum and she wants her to get rid of the stuff outside. My sister is asking me how is she going to get rid of it, etc? She wants me to order a bin and she and her friend will come and dump it in there. I know this sounds petty but I ain’t organising anything. It is her responsibility and she can deal with it. she can get the removalists to take it and she can drop it off at the tip. Like I said it probably sounds petty but I am so over doing stuff for my sister. She can sort her own stuff out. I think I told you ive limited our contact to solely texting. She rang me twice today and I told her I cant speak to her, I can only text. Im proud that I kept those boundaries in place. I was tempted to call her at one stage but I stayed strong!

How has your day been? What are you up to? Ooh you might be sleeping now! I will head over to your thread now.

xxx

Hello @Bella1978. The wedding sounds good. So great to have a room and the Bridal Suite at that, to head to when you both needed time out. And good that you both had each other. A hot chocolate on the way home. A perfect way to end the day.

No didn't do the 5km walk. Didn't fall asleep til 5am. So too tired to go. I did go and see the Documentary Gurrumul. I saw it a month and a half ago. Mum and I went to Melbourne to see it. But was lovely to see it again.

No housework done. Only washing the dogs beds, blankets. Lazy day.

I understand you not wanting to help your sister. She can call a skipor her friend can. And she can organise it's pick up for the next day. She doesn't pay you to be her carer.Glad you stayed firm.

When is the meeting with the staff at mums hospital? Have a private chat with them afterwards about your concerns re; Mums shopping lists, and how will you cope when she's home. They need to know these things too. That way they can help you both.

I have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow afternoon. So I will talk with him about my prognosis and so called 'recovery'. I'll also get him to fill in the Centrelink paperwork with all the details. He can sort it out. Then if they want me to come in, I'll bring my case manager with me.

That's pretty mch all from me for now.