Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

no its never really a day off @Bella1978 just abit of time to yourself really. im glad you did have some time to yourself today. you do need that break. having dinner with your friends sounds loveley as well as your catchup too. its a very hard thing to do when we have been doing it for so long or when we love the person too. takes practice. not an overnight fix at all. im the same as you.

lol lots of questions. my days been ok, done some painting which is on the 'Art Class' thread on the carers side. im okayish, my hands sore as i overused it again but not as bad as what it was.my pops going better. his arthritits is acting up so making walking around harder for him so has been resting and keeping warm. did i answer everything?

@utopia

Oh sweetheart, what a day you have had! So pleased that the specialist had good news for your mum. And, im glad your mum has promised not to take the pain med that doesn’t agree with her. aah, they make us stress don’t they luv?

I have heard of cannabis helping to relieve pain. Aaw bless, that is cute what she said about not wanting to feel stoned or intoxicated. Good daughter getting the hemp oil – its worth a try hey?

Im so sorry that your mum is talking about getting assisted suicide. How do you feel about it? that’s full on. has she ever talked about that before? That must have been a real shock for you. I really feel for your mum, to be feeling the way she does, and being in so much pain. And I feel for you too sweets, seeing your mum the way she is. It must be so hard for our mums not being able to do the things they used to do. It really is heartbreaking the things elderly people go through as they age. Its really not fair. They work so hard all of their lives, bring up children, etc and this is what they have to look forward to now that they are older. I know we have to try and have faith but, at the same time, it is very hard.

And yes, I think that is a very wise idea that your mum tells ur siblings as well, that way it is in the open and not resting just on your shoulders being the only one who knows. Do either of your siblings help with your mum?

I cant imagine how you are feeling this evening utopia. Such an emotional day for you, and a long day as well! and im glad you were safe, ie not near a pub. Do you have a sponsor, or a close friend, that you can contact if you do have the urge to drink? To help keep you safe. You have done so well luv, and you want to continue moving forwards with your own health, that is so important.

So good that you are seeing your psychologist tomorrow (today by the time you get this message!!). you definitely need a debrief after today. Very good timing for your appt.

Don’t you apologise at all! Im glad that you felt you can talk to me about your day, and get things off your chest. Its not fair that I hijack our conversations!! I feel that I do hijack them a lot!

By now you will hopefully be in sleepy land, and I hope you are having a good nights sleeping. I took a sleeping tablet this evening as my day was $hit too and I didn’t like my chances of falling asleep naturally. I just wanted something that will help knock me out so I don’t have to think. I know I will think about it tomorrow but I can handle it better during the day. not good in the evenings.

Please let me know how you go with your psychologist appt. have a good chat, and a good cry if you feel you need to.

Thinking of you and your mum.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.

Look after yourself, ok?

xxxxxxx

@outlander

hello my sweetheart, how are you? yep, i stuffed my face on fish and chips *burp* hehehe ... such a lady i am lol! i am ... really ............ 😉

i saw your beautiful paintings luv! and thanks for tagging me so i could see them. im glad your hand is better than it was. its taking a while isnt it? but im hoping it will be pain free soon. will make lifet easier for you as well. pain just exacerbates everything. makes it very hard to function to our fullest capacity when we are in constant pain. very good news about your pop getting better. yeah, unfortunately a lot of people with arthritis find winter is the worst for them, the cold weather stiffens their joints. especially in the morning as they have been resting all night and their joints have been in the same position all night. good idea that he keeps warm. what joints does he have arthritis in?

you're probably sleeping now. my bestie left about half an hour ago. i took something to help me sleep as i didnt like my chances of sleeping tonight. after i sent you that last message, i had a call from mum wanting to come home again, and getting very agitated that i wasnt going to pick her up, and she said some hurtful things to me. i know she didnt mean them but they just really got to me tonight. i think cause i could hear the hurt in her voice, and i always struggle when she says she wants to come home. i feel guilty, and wish i could just take her home. life is such an emotional roller coaster atm.

how has your mental health been luv? you been doing okay?

i best get some shut eye. i thought id come on here while my meds take effect and as a distraction for me.

look after yourself luv and i look forward to hearing from you soooooooooooooooooooooon 😉

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

@utopia

Hey luv, how was your day? yeah, my friend left just after 11am … she can stay up half the night that one! Lol … not this little chooken though hehe

Yes, I do recall you telling me you noticed she had put weight on cause of the fluid retention. And of course her arthritis would be causing her to slow down. Wow, your mum is young isn’t she? I don’t know why but I thought she was older. I can appreciate your frustration with it all, her body has aged more than it should have. Her memory not good either luv? ☹

Ooh, how did you go with the psychologist?? I hope it was a good session, and that you were able to debrief about your mum. I know that you needed to be able to do that.

Im glad you don’t think I hijack the conversation. Yeah, this thread was originally started about my mum but now its more of a messaging system between us haha! Im glad that you responded to me when I first put my post up. I really appreciate you being interested in my mum. *mwah* … and the more I learn about you, your son and your mum, the more I want to know, and be kept in the loop with what is going on hehe!

Im too scared to read her chart now in case I get told off hehe … but when mum has a good nurse on when I get there they go through stuff with me. most of them are fine but theres a couple that aren’t my favourite! The one that was on this arvo was lovely. Very gentle with mum and has a little chat with me.

Yesterday mum had a really bad day poor luv. I copped an ear full last night on the phone from her – she wanted to come home and wouldn’t take no for an answer. They had to give her something to settle her down. She had her bags packed and was ready to go. She just needed me to go pick her up. Some days she is fine in hospital and other days it’s the last place she wants to be!

They had to give her two meds to calm her down – one a benzo and the other an anti-psychotic. I think the anti-psychotic they gave her agreed with her. she was drowsy this morning but she had her usual meds plus these additional ones. She seemed calmer today and there were times she seemed like herself, we had a laugh, and went to the cafeteria together for a bite to eat.

I start questioning what has happened over the past few weeks, could she have been ill just because of the UTI? Did I overreact? Should she have been put on the anti-psychotics? Are they making her worse? Part of me feels like getting her out of there, getting her home and seeing how she does at home. im not 100% convinced the anti-psychotics she is on are that good. They don’t help her sleep at night as she up a lot of nights. But then when they gave her this other med last night, she settled down. I want to talk to the psych about it. although, if she goes to the specialised mental health clinic I can liaise with the psych’s there re: meds. I know its not good to chop and change the meds so quickly. Admittedly enough, she was on antipsychotics for a very long time so perhaps she does need one but just want to find the right one for her, hey? Just got a lot of questions floating around in my head tonight!

Mum was getting up during the night hungry for biccies and the nurses didn’t have an abundant supply for her lol … I bought some biccies in today in packages of 2. 2 biccies wrapped up in gladwrap for her, and also some chocolate. The nurses can ration them out for her. it should also hopefully settle her down quicker. Mum’s appetite has increased so much luv, and I think its because of one of her medications. She is overweight already, I don’t want her putting on more weight. Another thing I want to talk to the psych about.

You will be proud of me, I didn’t go to the hospital yesterday, and I will probably take tomorrow off as well, have a bit more time out for myself and running errands for mum lol … she is always sending me to the shops haha!

How has your day been? You were no doubt exhausted after the psychologist session so I hope you were able to do some self care after it. I have a support group in the morning for carers of people with mental illness. will see how that goes, and then off to the shops to get her some clothes and slippers lol … im her little lacky haha!

Hope to hear from you soon luv

xxxxxxxxxxxx

@outlander

Haha, yes I am a lovely lady, even with my flaws hehe

Wow, nearly 2 months with your hand sweets, it must feel like forever for you. how has it been today? Was the pain better? I hope so.

It would be very difficult for you not being able to do things you usually do. And yes, being independent it makes it difficult to get help from others. Are there any people that can help you though sweets? Even with cleaning the house? I honestly think you should look into getting government funded assistance at home. it is too much to do it all on your own with everything else you are doing. The way I look at it is if I can get someone in to some of the tasks, it frees me up a bit to do more important things. unfortunately though our fortnightly domestic assistance is on hold cause mum isn’t here. Your pop could have an ACAT assessment. Mum had one in January but I want her to get reassessed as things have changed with her health.

The cold is such a bugger when it comes to arthritis. In the past the weather used to affect my rheumatoid arthritis a lot. It still does but not to the same degree. My right knee is pretty screwed lol … so that stiffens up a bit in winter, and also when I keep it bent. Ive had a couple of operations on it, has had cortisone injections (I cant remember how many lol!) and also a radiation injection. So yeah, its been through the wringer hehe! I cant complain these days though, the medications I am on are helping. My mum has osteoarthritis and gets pain in her back and legs, poor luv.

Yep, hearing mum say she wants to come home breaks my heart. I do tell her that the doctor needs to say she can come home. it doesn’t help matters when she is in that frame of mind though. I started thinking today though, I wish I could just take her home, see how she goes back at home, im also questioning the medications she is on. Want to talk to her psychiatrist about it. I just have a lot of ‘what if’s’ floating around in my head tonight.

How have you been today? You been okay? What have you been up to?

Today I slept until about noon haha! Then visited mum in the arvo, but didn’t stay too late. I may stay home from the hospital tomorrow, need to start having some days off to recharge. No, haven’t done any of my mosaics, I have one all ready to grout just haven’t managed to grout it yet!

xxxxx