Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

@utopia

Hey sweetheart, im glad that you felt okay on 3 hours sleep – I am impressed! 😊 no doubt cause you go so much rest the night before your body didn’t need as much sleep.

Well that’s just it luv, from what I understand her private hospital wont take her back even after the UTI clears up. From what I was told it is cause they can only deal with ‘mental health issues’ not the other stuff that mum has going on. Its such a crock of $hit. I spoke to the nurse this morning and asked her to recheck for mum’s uti. She said she would but mum wont do urine in the special bowl for her. she’s having a very off morning, not listening and not taking her meds. I spoke to her and she hung up on me this morning. Wouldn’t surprise me if she still has the uti or she got another one. Things change so much from one day to the next luv.

I had a look online at the other private hospital that has geriatric psychiatrists and there are a few there. I just need mum to cooperate with me though.

They have had to put mum on a fluid restriction diet because she has swelling in her feet that needs to go down. She doesn’t understand and wont listen to either me or the nurses. I was half asleep when she rang me which didn’t help. She wanted me to go there today, even though I told her yesterday I wouldn’t be going today. I just cant do it luv. im so tired and need a day at home. not that im resting as im doing some washing. I messaged my uncle to see if he was seeing my mum this weekend and he said he doesn’t think so, I then asked him if he could ring her as she isn’t doing to well, he said he will try but cant promise. Oh FFS, its just a flippen phone call!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, that is so cute with your bestie, wanting to hear each others problems, just like me and mine. It is funny though as I realise when we do start talking to each other we end up taking it in turns. So important to have a special friendship, isn’t it? I am glad you have a very close friend in your life too luv. strong friendships are priceless, and I make sure, even when I have a lot going on , that I always keep in contact with her, we are in contact daily. And I have another friend that I am in contact with daily too. its also nice knowing that someone is thinking of me, and vice versa. That is why I love logging on and reading your messages and see what you have been up to! The longer the message, the better lol! And its nice knowing that there are people out there thinking of us. Don’t feel so alone.

Wow, good on you for splashing out on those books. Knowledge is never wasted… it sounds like you will be reading for a while though! Hehe 😊 I want to get back into my study but just cant do it atm.

Haha, I loved your disclaimer re: taking the sleeping tablet haha! I ended up taking it in the end. Had too much stuff going around in my head. It helped me sleep. And yes they can be addictive, plus this one is a benz-o which helps me to relax and sleep, but can be addictive.

Ah ok, I haven’t heard of Clarke and dawes. Good on you for getting out and going to the movies luv! I do enjoy foreign movies, especially when the Italian film festival is on! Look at you, heading out again tonight – good on you!! you’ll will have to tell me about the movie … ooh, he’s a bit cute lol … he’s the presenter on little big shots! Did you ever watch the episode where there was a girl called bella on it and she knows 7 languages? I will attach the link for you – it is the cutest thing you will ever see! She is a such a natural in front of the camera, and so smart!!! Laughter is very healing indeed!

All right my dear, washing machine has finished – oh for joy! Lol … enjoy your day and I hope you have an awesome night tonight! Im sure you will though 😊

xxx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25U0GQAcJRw

i @Bella1978 just wanted to see how your going?

you sound all nice and warm! @Bella1978 i coming over to your house!

i hope you can find something, must be really hard on you atm and on her too. big hugs im going abit better, have lost alot of confidence ive typed and deleted my post quite abit before i posted and now im thinking of deleting it. thank you for your help earlier it meant alot to me- and still does mean alot to me.

do you have many plans for tomorrow?

haha @outlander .. come on over luv! and the house is nice and clean too lol 🙂

thanks sweets, yeah, its a bit full on atm but im doing the best i can, and i know i am. want to make sure mum gets the best possible treatment she can. i enjoy researching things too but this just gets draining cause of the emotional aspect. just trying to keep on top of things and keep options open.

why have you lost confidence luv? whats wrong? talk to aunty bella1978 hehe ... im just glad that i can help luv. i know what you mean though, sometimes you just need someone to be there for you. they dont have to say much but just knowing they are there and thinking of you makes such a big difference. my best friend says she wishes she could do more and i always tell her, the fact that she is thinking of me and checking in with me is what i need, and i dont expect anymore than that. just knowing that there are people out there thinking of us is heartwarming. and i hope you know i always think of you and how you are doing luv. *mwah*

no plans for tomorrow luv. will see mum later on in the day but nothing for the morning. i kind of like it that way too! lol

xxx

lol @Bella1978

yes you surely are doing the best you can. i like researching too but like you get drained quite easily. its good to know your options too. make sure you take care of yourself too and give yourself a mental break- do something you enjoy- go see friends or mosiacs or something.

ahh it was just something someone had said after it has taken me over a week to say more than 2 words. but it doesnt matter now. exactly Bella, knowing i have my wonderful supports helps more than most would know. people actually get it here without me having to say much or when i do try to explain things they can unmuddle my muddle which helps me too!

aww your friend sounds really great- do you think you could have a catch up with her soon?

a free morning sounds good, gives time for a sleep in! no sleep in more me tomorrow- have volunterred to cook breakfast for family so will leave home at 6 to go over to mums house

@outlander

hey luv

what you up to? ive just been watching a couple of friends episodes on youtube. my mind is starting to wander now, getting a bit down thinking of mum in hospital on her own, and just not knowing what will happen. sorry luv, shouldnt be putting this on you.

i think i know what you may be referring to as i was reading your other thread. everyone will have an opinion luv, you be true to yourself and do what helps you.

im glad you have supports online luv, and i can see you are very much loved on these forums. you are such a beautiful person.

i actually ran into my best friend at the shops yesterday which was great, we had a cuppa together. we see each other often and communicate via text every day. she is also missing my mum dearly - she and her kids call my mum "mama (insert name here hehe)" ...they love her to bits.

oh luv, tomorrow is sunday - promise me this is the last time you offer to cook breakfast for family ? hehe ... hopefully you can have a rest during the day?? something tells me you dont like to say no to people? am i right?? i used to be like that but these days i know how much i can and cant take on so there are times when i do need to pull back.

xxxx

hi @Bella1978

atm im playing solitaire on my computer and just had a quick shower- they can only be quick otherwise the steam gets at my hand but its too late for a bath. all well all good now, im in bed music, solitaire and talking to you. a very good combo here.

i like watching friends too. its usually on of a daytime here so if im home im often watching it. its a good distraction. i dont mind, talk away im here to support you too. i can understand all of those concerns with your mum. please know that she is being taken care of and you cant do anymore tonight. put the studies and research away and rest yourself.

oh thats good, im glad you were able to catch up with your friend. aww thats cute.

i dont usually go over there early for breakfast, i was actually going to stay the night there but often nights are my worse so id rather not. im not sure of the other plans tomorrow. things change really quick around here. ive been resting quite alot or well wrestling with my mh while lazing around anyway. and yes your right, i find it really really hard to say no. i have said no a few times and it starts to make me panic so i try to find things or intentially make things at certain times like appts at 2 oclock if i know mums day at work is often short or having plans on the days mums off work etc. still learning the no thing.

@outlander

Sounds like you’re having a chill night too – good girl! Aah solitaire, an oldie but a goodie hey??

Friends is definitely a good distraction, I didn’t really get into it as much when it was on but the past few months have really been getting into it. they are all such good actors, and work great together. I know luv, mum is being looked after. I do get concerned though re: medication. One time I was there the nurse would not listen to me about the side effects of one of the medications mum has had in the past. She said the doctor charted it up. I said check with the doctor. She said she did. I said I don’t want her having it. and the other night they gave her 3 types of sedative medications to help her sleep. That kind of stuff concerns me. they probably see me as controlling but I couldn’t care less. I know how mum reacts to certain medications and it pi$$es me off no end when they don’t listen. Ok, rant over! Lol … but yeah, Its just never the same as it is as home, hey? And its hard when she says she wants to come home … and some days she is quite persistent with it. she kept telling me to go there this morning and pick her up. I was half asleep and it was before my morning coffee so I wasn’t functioning on all 4 cylinders lol .. poor luv, it must be so frustrating for her, but my hands are tied. She didn’t like my response so hung up on me in the end! But this arvo when we spoke, she was much better. Im just praying that she comes good luv.

Sounds like it is best you are in your own bed at night luv. I also understand about how quickly things change! makes it hard to make plans sometimes. Im so sorry you are struggling with your mental health atm. I can imagine it would be exhausting you. hey, if it works making your appts at that time so you don’t have to promise yourself to other things, then do it luv! whatever works, as long as you can put time aside for yourself, and hopefully in time you can learn to say no without feeling the panic. I have been there though luv, and it does come with practice. I used to feel guilty saying no. obviously, when it comes to mum there are things I just do, you know? Also, cause I know I am the only one doing anything. As im sure that is how you are with your pop? But I know that I need to operate within my mental and physical limits.