Battling MI whilst caring for someone with MI

give your mum a hug from me @Bella1978

@Shaz51 so sorry to hear your mum is not well. Do you live far from her? Would be hard when distance is an issue. Sending you hugs

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@Bella1978 Let us know when the psychiatrist gets there.

have the nurses let you know if her UTI has cleared up yet. It's takng a long time. Hugs for you tooo.

hey @Shaz51

how was your day? thank you for passing on your love and hugs to my mum 🙂 i dont want to jinx it but she seemed a bit more like herself today. poor luv was very drowsy though, as a result of meds they gave her last night cause she couldn't sleep. she was enjoying my company - i didnt think she wanted me to leave today hehe

how is your mum luv?

xxx

@utopia

Hey sweetheart, im finally sitting down catching up on messages 😊

Far out, you slept for 16.5 hours! You must have been so tired luv. how are you feeling tonight?

I agree, it is wrong that some doctors are so arrogant they wont listen to anyone else, and the nurse doesn’t intervene. Good on you for putting in a complaint to the hospital. Omg, he tried to have you committed to a locked ward? That must have been so scary for you! I am losing faith in the mental health system – both public and private. I didn’t have a big issue with it in the past but, I don’t know, maybe as im older I am aware of it more, and also taking such an active role in mum’s mental health issues. Ive had my fair share of psychiatrists and psychologists over the years, but yeah, im just viewing things very differently atm.

I agree with you, why is it that nursing staff cant check with doctors? it worries me no end what happens to people that don’t have someone advocating for them, especially the elderly. I got there today and mum was so drowsy. I asked the nurse why she was so dopey and she showed me the med chart - they had given her three(!!!) different types of sedatives to sleep as she couldn’t sleep last night, she was wandering up and down. I asked if she was getting aggressive or agitated, she said no, so I asked why did you have to give her so much then?? No answer. Before I left I told the nurse to call me if she gets agitated or can’t sleep and I may be able to calm her down but don’t just give her meds to dope her up. That’s what concerns me – when doctors/nurses just give them meds to shut them up, and as a result, they end up so dopey. Obviously once the patient is sedated, the nurses can get on with other stuff, instead of helping the patient before giving them meds. I had a chat with mum and told her to try and sleep otherwise they gonna give her more meds and she gonna be very sleepy tomorrow … I think she got the gist of it!

So true, nurses should advocate on behalf of patients if they have concerns. so many nurses will just go along with what the doctor says and that is it. I have met some lovely nurses at the hospital where mum is, and they all know me as im a constant fixture these days lol … the nurse that was on today wasn’t very friendly, I didn’t like her, and I think she could tell … I don’t have a very good poker face!

I actually put a complaint in with the medical board a few years ago against my mum’s previous gp – she missed a lesion on mums kidney that turned out to be malignant plus she never told mum she had chronic kidney disease. Luckily for mum the tumour on her kidney was not aggressive and they removed it by radio frequency ablation. It could have been much much worse though luv.

Mum did seem a bit more like herself today, she had dinner and had a shower while I was there. I bought her some new pj’s so she was looking pretty spunky lol! She enjoyed my company and I could tell she didn’t want me to leave, bless her.

I know what you mean about contacting my counsellor more regularly. I was going to ring him today but settled down. I have an appt with him next week. Last night I had to take anti-anxiety /sleep medication as I couldn’t settle down. This morning anxiety and chest pain wouldn’t settle down either. Funny thing is, when I have anxiety like that and I have a big cry, it settles down a bit. I was ok this afternoon. I also find though, that on the days I don’t see mum, I struggle with anxiety more. Im feeling ok tonight so hopefully I wont need anything to sleep.

Oh, and the psych never came grrrr … so I’ll ring tomorrow to talk to him. Wasn’t impressed with that at all! Plus, I spoke to the medical doctor. His intern contacted the private psychiatric hospital mum was at. They said they wont take her back – WTF??? Apparently their excuse was because of her hypertensive issues and cause she had delirium when she was last there. I need to get the full story. I was disgusted to hear that though. On reflection, mums psych started her on a new anti-psychotic and the next day was when she started deteriorating, ie not complying, getting very agitated and aggressive. Plus she had a UTI! He didn’t put the 2 and 2 together but instead shipped her off to the public hospital, and said it was cause of her hypertension. I understand that if she isn’t taking her meds, theyre hands are tied. But obviously now that she has gotten better and is complying with her meds, they have basically closed their door on her. it made me sad for mum to hear that and I am royally pi$$ed off at their attitude. I haven’t told mum. Admittedly enough, I wanted to find mum a new psychiatrist but I am disgusted at their attitude. How can they just turn their back on mum???? I don’t get it , I really don’t. Im thinking mum would be much better off at home. she will be in her own environment, she wont be restricted as to what she can and cant do. I do want to make sure that her new anti-depressants do continue to help her though. I could see my mum starting to come back to me today, ive missed her so much. Im worried if they send her to a psych hospital under the public mental health system. Im scared they will just dope her up if she gets agitated, etc to shut her up. I cant watch that happen to mum. Im praying that she keeps improving and can come home soon. Ive told her that im getting more assistance at home when she comes home. she seems onboard with it.

How have you been my luv? you doing okay? How has your day been? It will be nearly midnight by the time you get this message and u will no doubt be in la la land sleeping! How is your book going? Any goss in your life? me, no, just hanging out with mama these days! Hehe

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@Bella1978 didn't check the forum until now. almost 3am. oops. cant sleep.

Bugger you are having a bloody hard time with it. What do they mean the hospital won't take her back? I'm assuming they mean in the state she was in before, prior to UTI being fixed and new meds. That's the only logical reason I can think of. and even then, tough shit if they have to work at night looking after her. Who says you have to sleep at night. We are not all morning people. At the moment your mum is struggling with her sleep. But her routine is different in hospital, so no wonder. She is probably also struggling with bordom.

Check tomorrow with the doctors. You want to know if the UTI is fully cleared up and you want to know has her blood pressure leveled out and most important, when she will get a psych assessment done. Don't let them put you off because they are busy. So are you. And it's important thst you know what their plan is regarding your mum.

I guess you would feel the anxiety more when you are home alone. That;s when we tend to think, or in our cases worry. When you are busy shopping for mum and helping her at the hospital and running errands etc etc, you don't have as much time to think. You are responding to whatever situation presents itself in the now. That's why i'm worried about you. I think once you dostop and take a breath, that you might crash, emotionally. So do let your team know of all this extra stress you are under this week.

I bet your mum was so happy to get new pajamas. Knowing you were thinking of her. It does sound like she was a bit better today, as she didn't want you to go. Even doped up, she wanted you nearby to talk or hold her hand. That must be comforting to know. She sounds more aware of your presence now. Maybe theanti psychotics are working. great news,

Me, I had a mini breakdown last night. Couldn't get my mind to stop thinking abouteverything that is wrong and scary in the world. I ended up crying. which is great. Because last year, before this years med change i couldn't cry. I was numb. So i cried myself to sleep. Woke up this morning, feeling fine. I find after a sleep my mood caan be alot better,

Still reading my book. I;ve never taken so long to read a book in my life. But the print is very small and faded and being written in the 1800,s, i often have to stop and look up the meanings of words. Also, because there is so much info to absorb, I can't read too much at once.. If it was a novel, I could read it all in twodays. I think that must be the cognitive issue my psych talks about.

Anyway, other than not sleeping, I feel good. Has been a nice quiet day.

Give my love to your mum. Let her know there arre a lot of people sending best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Please take care of yourself. Lots of self nurturing and self love. I know you need to be there to advocate for mum. That's good. Just make sure you are taking time out for you too.

I find a silly comedy or an easy to follow movie is a good easy distraction and time out for me. What do you normally do?

alright. I should head to bed now. You definately will be asleep by now. I hope you are having lovely dreams.

talk soon my friend.

@Bella1978

@utopia

Wow you were up late luv! you must have been tired today.

Its 8.15pm, im laying in bed typing you this message and getting very sleepy. Still have 100 things going around my head! Had a chat with mum’s psych today which was good, but also draining. I was with him for about an hour and a half and mum started getting anxious and agitated that I was gone so long. She was upset with the doctor for keeping me so long, poor luv. but then I had to deal with her after I spoke with the psych! I was knackered lol, silly me didn’t have my phone with me which didn’t help matters!

As for the hospital not taking mum back, apparently its cause she has other health issues that they are not equipped to deal with – such a crock of poop if you ask me. cause of the hypertension, the delirium, etc. I just don’t think they want to deal with her, which makes me mad, and also sad for mum. I spoke with the psych at the hospital and he has told me of public outpatient mental health facilities where they have the psych, a nurse, social worker and case manager that can come out to the person’s home so that is an option. Only thing is that its not a long term arrangement. Once the patient is stabilised, they are then referred back to her gp. To begin with it will be okay, but I’ll need to find her another psychiatrist that will be long term. Its all a bit overwhelming atm. There is a private hospital that has a geriatric psychiatric section so I may look into that. Mum also has her renal physician there so, if for any reason, she had to be admitted, he would be there too. Its an option.

Her BP is better. I have asked them to do a test (even the stick test) to see if the UTI has cleared. I found out yesterday that they don’t do a urine test to make sure the UTI has cleared up !?!?!

Thank you for thinking of me luv. today anxiety was at bay which was good. As you know, it is so hard to focus when anxiety is lurking. Its so exhausting! I agree, once things do settle down, I will probably crash – It happened last year. This year though I have a counsellor. Plus last year, my sister was in a psych ward at the same time my mum was so it was extra stressful in that regard. My best friend is a constant support, I am blessed to have her in my life. so fingers crossed I don’t crash! Ive also put my name down to attend a support group for people caring for someone with mental illness – another way of meeting others in the same situation.

Oh sweetheart, im so sorry you had such a bad night the other night. Sounds like you were in a such a bad headspace. Im happy that you were able to cry luv. it is a good release and sounds like it is just what you needed. I find that my anxiety gets to a point sometimes that I just start crying, after I have cried, my anxiety lessens. i am so happy that you woke up feeling better though. It’s a struggle when our mind goes off on a tangent. Sending you big hugs luv! *mwah*

Omg you are like my friend – she can finish a novel in 2 days !! it takes me forever lol. Its understandable that the book you are reading at the moment would be taking you longer as there is a lot of information to absorb. Youre enjoying the book, yes? I think you may find that your cognition improves over time with the more reading you do, and just keeping your mind active in general, you know?

I feel tired but want to take something to just knock me out so I get a good nights sleep. But im a bit scared too as I don’t want to get dependent on them. hrmmmm … I think its more that I want my head to stop thinking lol … but then im like “well am I using it for the right reason? Am I going to get dependent on them if I use them for this?” … lol … my head doesn’t make things easy for me lol. I just want a good nights sleep.

How has your day been today?

I do enjoy a good comedy too! Ive been watching little friends skits on youtube lately which I have been enjoying. Also catching up on messages on this forum is good for me too. and my best friend is a good distraction too lol … funny thing is she has stuff going on in her life too … when we get together I want her to talk about her stuff and she wants me to talk about my stuff as it distracts us from our own stuff!! Hehe … I actually bumped into her at the shops today which was nice so we had a cuppa together.

All right my love, I best get some sleep. I hope you get a good nights rest and get to sleep much earlier than you did last night/this morning!

Sweet dreams luv

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