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Safe Haven

Safe Haven

Trying to find and create a place to feel nurtured and safe from storms, where I might belong, even if only for a time, where I can feel at home, able to welcome others and share knowledge, feelings, stories and experiences.

I'd so like to share the many stories of what happened to shape me into the person I am today, some I can share, but the most recent stuff, the really scary stuff is caught up in past work related experiences that have to remain secret. This makes understanding the way I percieve the world around me a bit difficult to explain to those who have not had that background.

The last few years have been a turmoil of anxiety issues piled on top of one another, time and time again. It's hard to trust when the ones who should have protected you are the ones who were the most consistent in their abuse of you.

From childhood, mother decided I was out to harm her in some way and took up against me even before I started school, belittling and shaming me as often and as openly as she could. Eventually the siblings took part in that as well, and do so to this day. Except that I no longer hear about it having severed all connections with them to save myself.

Along the way, a kidnapping and sexual assault occurred for which I was blamed by priest and parent alike. Luckily the doctor the school principal eventually forced my mother to take me to gave me what I now understand to have been the morning after pill, and despite it being too long after the event, it worked. Something I didn't realise the truth about until some years later, having been a sheltered and naive child at the time. Clever doctor tricked ma into leaving the room and talking to me on my own.

Fast forward to marriage, children, births and deaths, and domestic violence, and move after move after move for work prospects. An eventual diagnosis of PTSD after being wrongly treated for epilepsy for a year. Then other diagnoses of depression and anxiety and other health factors throughout the years.

The repeated betrayal of a once loved church system, priests, and loved ones has left me emotionally scarred, some of those wounds will never heal, this I know to be true for many of us who have been treated without respect or honour.

Anniversay reactions are problem times, especially when those times occur around the times when others want to celebrate. Religion and divinity references, platitudes and throw away phrases that dismiss the reality of experience have no place in my world.

I just want a place of respite, of recovery, of kindness and consideration, where all who interact are respected and honoured while being respectful and honourable; even if it's only for a time.

After all, to everything there is a season ...

137 replies

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In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

That is awesome @Former-Member 🙂 well done and so glad that you can revel in this moment too! lovely news to hear thank you for sharing.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

Lovely to see each of you stop by, those posting and 'like'-ing, I see you all and am most thankful for your continued support and company.

It's a really weird thing, that the blanket of darkness has been folded back, perhaps not all the way, but enough that everything is not edged with blackness, like a picture frame, all the time. I wish I could take a pic of the delightful light coming through the shades of cream to golden yellow screen I made for my front door to share with you, but it won't come out clearly enough.

My 'thing' with yellow is related to happiness, and the way the colour yellow was contaminated in my life way back when the most life altering bad thing happened 46 years ago this year.

Yellow was consistently leached from my life until it was nearly non-existent, until a few months ago when I started working on the new colours for crocheting the edges around my comfort hankies. I made a conscious decision to edge one with a pastel yellow.

I had already added some other acceptable yellows with the colours of my door privacy screen and was concerned about how I'd go with that. As it happens, really well!

I guess it's been long enough. It's also coming up four years since another major life change made to form the foundation of a new life for myself was made and acted on. It's starting to look like that new life is really going to allow me to put aside the associated fears and pains of past experiences.

Comparing myself to the me that was before the physical, emotional and mental changes time and experience has wrought is not helpful, nor is it being kind to myself.

Having clawed my way out of the darkness, I'd like to stay here in the filtered light for a while learning about who I can be.

This is me now, with all the eccentricities, foibles and inabilities that time and experience has marked me with.

It's still a good enough day. Working on making sure each day holds something good enough to keep that sense of lightened mood.

I wish each of you a pleasant, good enough moment that can sustain you throughout today, and another for each day that follows.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

@Former-Member,

Iwish you so much yellow,

so bright that it permiates

decades to rhe future and back

that it's warmth heals wounds,

deep and invisible

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

OH, @Former-Member what a beautiful image!

(and how fast was that image to clear! you must have a secret connection to the magic of clearing images)

I had completely forgotten about how pretty sunflowers were. The things that awful darkness wipes from our memories is hard to understand, isn't it.

Thank you for your very great kindness, Lapses, your thoughtfulness is very uplifting.

I hope your day is brighter for having helped mine be lightened! thank you.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

i love the way you described the 'blanket' and the 'photoframe' @Former-Member your good with words and its really great to hear of these successes and changes that are happening for you.

something pretty....

something a little crafty......

something abit different.....

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

Thank you for you kind words @outlander. I'm glad you like my word usage. I'm working on getting back to my story writing.

Those images are very inspiring.

The flower hair clips are pretty, and I have a pattern somewhere for that lovely yellow Irish Crochet flower and leaf motif. It would make a really pretty brooch or hair clip too wouldn't it. That crocheted picture frame is so delicate!

Thank you for sharing, they are wonderfully bright and inspirational.

I really hope you can get a bit of a rest and some recuperation for yourself, sweetie.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

im glad you like the pics @Former-Member maybe they could be a project of yours if/when your ready. im sure youd be able to make them.

no rest or recouperation here unfortunatley..

i hope todays been a good day for you

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

I do like the yellow flower @outlander and it did make me want to make it. I have some similar flowers I've crocheted and tatted, and put them on my house slippers for decoration. Practice things and things I made just because I liked them, but had not real use for them, but used them so they're not wasted hidden away in a drawer.

I hope you might be able to get some rest while waiting for those you sometimes have to wait for hon. HOpe your hand is not giving you too much pain lately. I read how it's going to be some time yet before things change much with it. Thinking of you and not being able to do much with sore hands.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

thats a handy way of using your crocheting @Former-Member your rather clever. how are you going today?

my hand pain has eased abit as long as its resting more- when out at about doing things it usually hurts more. its hard not having 2 hands but i did do a little painting today. only something simple but wanted to use one of my mini canvases (havent used a canvas before) and only really needed one hand. can share it with you if you like but its nothing special. thank you for thinking of me

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

I'm still having good days @outlander - thanks for asking - it's a really nice place to be after so many years of feeling the darkness around me. It's quite peculiar. I had this funny feeling in my insides and I thought I must have been getting sick again, then I realised it was because I didn't have the sinking heavy weight of anxiety pulling me down!

It's not always gone, but there are times it's gone. and it's not as weighty as it's been. I've actually done some things (a coupld of phone calls) that normally would cause massive migraines and trembling and have ended up feeling good that I could do it.

I think I've burnt out my adrenals, that's got to be the answer. I hit rock bottom the other week, and I think this is the result. Whatever, it's not a bad place to be and we'll see how long it lasts and what I can achieve while I'm in this place of quietude.

I hope you can find some solace in your days and nights hon. I note you are feelling things strongly. Be well, look after you as much as you can.

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