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Safe Haven

Safe Haven

Trying to find and create a place to feel nurtured and safe from storms, where I might belong, even if only for a time, where I can feel at home, able to welcome others and share knowledge, feelings, stories and experiences.

I'd so like to share the many stories of what happened to shape me into the person I am today, some I can share, but the most recent stuff, the really scary stuff is caught up in past work related experiences that have to remain secret. This makes understanding the way I percieve the world around me a bit difficult to explain to those who have not had that background.

The last few years have been a turmoil of anxiety issues piled on top of one another, time and time again. It's hard to trust when the ones who should have protected you are the ones who were the most consistent in their abuse of you.

From childhood, mother decided I was out to harm her in some way and took up against me even before I started school, belittling and shaming me as often and as openly as she could. Eventually the siblings took part in that as well, and do so to this day. Except that I no longer hear about it having severed all connections with them to save myself.

Along the way, a kidnapping and sexual assault occurred for which I was blamed by priest and parent alike. Luckily the doctor the school principal eventually forced my mother to take me to gave me what I now understand to have been the morning after pill, and despite it being too long after the event, it worked. Something I didn't realise the truth about until some years later, having been a sheltered and naive child at the time. Clever doctor tricked ma into leaving the room and talking to me on my own.

Fast forward to marriage, children, births and deaths, and domestic violence, and move after move after move for work prospects. An eventual diagnosis of PTSD after being wrongly treated for epilepsy for a year. Then other diagnoses of depression and anxiety and other health factors throughout the years.

The repeated betrayal of a once loved church system, priests, and loved ones has left me emotionally scarred, some of those wounds will never heal, this I know to be true for many of us who have been treated without respect or honour.

Anniversay reactions are problem times, especially when those times occur around the times when others want to celebrate. Religion and divinity references, platitudes and throw away phrases that dismiss the reality of experience have no place in my world.

I just want a place of respite, of recovery, of kindness and consideration, where all who interact are respected and honoured while being respectful and honourable; even if it's only for a time.

After all, to everything there is a season ...

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In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

I recently rekindled a commitment I made in my younger years to be sure I thanked those whose presence in my life, for whatever reason, has been a positive influence, before the opportunity passed.

I didn't always follow through for fear of ridicule, of being misunderstood, or of being called names, there are cases I regret my weakness, and will no longer let those fears override my own wish to be kind and exhibit thankfulness. (I use Thankfulness because Gratitude is an emotionally loaded word that doesn't work for me for lots of reasons.)

Thank you so very much for your wonderful words of kindness and support. You are all such amazingly kind and caring people, who even in the midst of your own trials and tribulations have generously taken the time to reach out to offer compassion to me personally, as well as to others.

@eth @outlander @Teej @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @CheerBear @NikNik @Wanderer @Smc @Former-Member @frog @Bunniekins @Former-Member

@OhanaSystem @Bella1978 @Sans911 @TAB @Former-Member

I am so uplifted by your kindnessess and generosity of spirit, it's hard to put into words.

You, and others whom I am sorry to have missed naming, have offered support, understanding and encouragement in ways I have seldom been offered support before.

You are part of the reason the blanket of darkness that has enveloped me for almost forty years is being slowly folded back. I feel optimism for the first time in all those years.

Thank you for being you.
(Please, no-one needs to feel pressured to respond - I am doing this because I both need and want to do it for myself.)

In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

@Former-Member lots of these 😊 reading your post. Thank you for doing the same for me/us. So great to hear that you're feeling optimistic and that the blanket is lifting ❤

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

you are most welcome @Former-Member and thank you for being here for me too

In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

That sounds so good @Former-Member .. 😀 I’m happy for you 😀 .. that’s an ‘aww’ moment ... 😸

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Re: Safe Haven

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

Wonderful post @Former-Member Thank you for your kind words. You support many of us here too, including me! I really feel I'm part of a community for the first time in decades

PS sorry for the slow response. I couldn't access the forum on pc or phone for most of yesterday. Even tried different browsers. Every now and then gremlins seem to afflict the site.

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

@Former-Member xx

In response to: Re: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

Thank you so much everyone, for your kindness and support!
I feel like I want to tell everyone, and I also feel like I want to hold it to me like a secret so that the delight I feel can't be taken away from me.

But I've decided to share.

I was able to do something today that is a dramatic change for me.

I managed to go for a walk outside the confines of the fences of the unit. Usually I can only go as far as the mailbox, which is still within the confines of the area, but today, the beautiful sunshine, the 'yellowness' of the light and the fresh clean cool air made me decide to go for a walk.

I quickly showered and dressed before the sun dropped too far below the horizon, and walked almost to the end of the street, and back again, while the sky was coloured with soft pinks and blues, and few streaks of orangey yellow.

I felt, and still feel so very pleased with myself. No anxiety crept in, there was no one around to spoil the effect of the quiet, and I feel so achieved.

It's a simple thing that most people would be able to do without a second thought, but I have not been able to venture outside the house fenced area, for a walk, for more than 15 years.

Any trip to 'outside' has been fraught with anxiety and great difficulty, sometimes leaving the house has been an impossibility. (I'm choosing to use the past tense because I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, this will be a new future for me.)

I'm pretty darned pleased with myself right now.

In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

Oh, so you should be @Former-Member ...... ❣️

Woo-hoo ..... so well done ..... 🎉 ..... so pleased for you .......

💃 🌐 🎶 ....... (f&h happy dance)

In response to: Safe Haven

Re: Safe Haven

WTG! @Former-Member !!
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