Fragile

@outlander

I have done very little in the garden this year, and it really needed a tidy. It was great, that it started with my son, and I just kept going for a few more hours, pottering and happy. The plants really are stressed from the late heat and summer, but it is the tough that survive and I encourgae them to drought tolerant with few but deep waterings.

How is that paddock ... lol ... poo free???

@Appleblossom, happy for you that being at the zoo seems so tranquil and harmonious. That peoole acknowledge each other with a friendly smile. So cool.
Do you have a grandchild on the way? I love babies 👣🤗 Is this your first? Do they live close? Is there a baby shower? Are you making something, blanky? booties? Its so exciting. How far away? Sorry, when it comes to babies I can't help myself 😁💞
My son says he's not having any children cause he doesn't want to continue my MH issues :face_with_rolling_eyes: or be held ransom or something... whatever. But sometimes life has a way of going on regardless, adding surprising little pockets of joy without the ugly, teaching us to smile. Babies have a magical way of doing this. I pray relationships allow you much of this joy in coming days.
What an adventure life is really, if we can just ride the waves or at least find our feet quickly after a tumbledunk...
Anyway, good to see you Bella 😊

I went through a greenish thumb phase, where more of my time was in the garden, but I am more of a whole habitat person than a typical gardener. Lived in a lot of concrete as a kid.

Ha @outlander If you are doing such a job you certainly should not be doing it for free. It is important for those agisting horses to come to terms with the full amount of the excreta load .... Ahem ... cough cough. Charge them by the barrow full. I just had an inkling cos I always used to find the cowpat in the paddock when I was on the dairy farm..

@Former-Member Yes. I am over the moon and it will be my first. The expecting couple did not think it wise so I became resigned to no bubs ... but as you say ... life finds a way ... like little shoots pushing up through the soil towards the light. They asked me take some photos of them as a couple as they had none. They are laughing quietly over music and the keyboard atm. I am doing a late lunch before she goes home. SO these are moments to treasure.

She is a very non mainstream greenie a la natural girl/woman, which means we are working it out as we go.

AH he is playing the famous Bach prelude in C atm to his new person in waiting ...

Hugs to anyone reading and caring about my journey.

That last post made me smile @Appleblossom about your son and his girlfriend. I came here to write to you about something I alluded to in a clumsy way on a different thread. I just read your latest post about your journey on the forum. I wanted to give you a huge hug yesterday for your authenticity and integrity. It is something that I admire and hugely respect. You have been in my brain lots lately as I try to navigate this world. Don’t be scared it’s for all the good reasons.

I have learned so much about life from you both directly and indirectly. I am in a new headspace that is equally exciting as it it scary. I have recently come to understand that I can make and maintain friendships quite easily with what doesn’t seem like much effort. I came to hate that about myself for the past few years. It was something that made me feel surreal. What I’ve struggled with have been your strengths in being able to get on with daily living and make the best of things. I know that is not always ideal if you aren’t getting needs met but it is a fundamental weakness of mine. I’ve watched you grow and am learning through this process about what integrity and authenticity mean. I have learned things through your wisdom.

In my way I guess I’m trying to come around to working out who is authentic me. I think authentic me is someone who has pushed everyone away because of the shame of being dysfunctional in so many practical ways. I also admire and respect @Former-Member , @outlander , @Faith-and-Hope for that ability to ride the storms of life and keep doing what needs to be done. I can honestly say that it’s not something I have learned to do.

Sorry for my ramble of a post. It’s been on my mind a while but the timing seems right.

Hugs to you all 💜🤗

@Teej

It is the beauty of the way that groups can help in personal growth. In that we all have different qualities and learn and grow and share from a broader base. I am sensing good possibiltiies for you, as your social connections deepen. We cant have the same connections with everyone. Your unique presence has made a difference to me because you periodically reach out to me in a very specific way. Its not generic but somehow honoring you, the whole Teej and me.

Then we paddle on a long for a while in our separate canoes ....

Calling out and hollaring to others in cooee ... til next gathering ...

ie like you @Former-Member who has recently joined, but who I can deeply feel connection with

and @outlander and @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @utopia

@Shaz51 @eth

Oh dear ... we were having a great discussion over a big late lunch I cooked up, then son put foot in his mouth. It was about politics and R Murdoch so it became a discussion about swear words ... and which not too use when a bub is soon to arrive ... so easy for delicate things to go pear shaped ... tho its not the end of the world ....

@Appleblossom my aspie transgender daughter has no tact (although she is improving a bit ....) she will happily say the most shocking things in front of people without a care in the world and be quite shocked if they take offence lol. Whereas I am super sensitive (unless manic that is) .... maybe I should take a leaf out of her book and talk about what I like.

@Bunniekins Thx for your reply.

There seems a constant shifting of power relations about who has the right to speak and be heard. Often I prefer silence, but recently I just had to hold firm and be heard, it was at a concert meal. I was glad the committee replied yesterday with warm regards looking forward to me singing in the future. SO despite my fears, I did not burn my bridge there which is very heartening.

Back to son and home, I knew the word he said upset his girl, and it was not timely. I turned it around and made him and her laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, so it was alright.

I dont believe we have totally the right to constantly say anything we want regardless of the consequences. Sometimes however it is important to make a stand.

I was brought up with gayz and queer people all over the place. I have respect, for their issues. All depends on context. Some people just want to be the loudest and that is not always cool ... recently I hung out with an interesting drag Q. My old friend was surprised we got on so well, that was because I completely ignored anything to do with the superficiality of it all and spoke straight about deeper things. I certainly been there done dat with 4 gay uncles.

Edited as I was too colourful and humourous with language, but thats alright. Hilarious being moderated on this post but I understand why.

Sigh ...Its a crazy world hey.