Fragile

@Zoe7 @Maggie

Was interrupted and posted prematurely... so continuing from the bit that did not make sense

... the "appropriate" word had paralysed me. I heard it from so many different directions and it was a favourite word from women who thought they were the judge of all ... then it became part of MY self judgement.

I do agree that racism conversations are more prominent than racism in some areas of society @Appleblossom Unfortunately there are still pockets where racism still exist and that saddens me.

You certainly have the same rights as anyone else when socialising or even just in being yourself Apple. We all have that right to feel safe in a social context and that is why you calling out this woman was so important - you had every right to be felt heard rather than being 'told' what to do. I do think you are further along the social engagement line than you give yourself credit for. You participate in so many groups, you have your zoo volunteering and choirs and all that is putting yourself out there amongst others - which you do deal with very well. I am always inspired by how much you do in group situations and how well you navigate some of those personal feelings when doing so. ...keep being yourself Hon

That becomes so hard when you have other people trying to mould you into something you are not with their use of words and judgement @Appleblossom Often people will not want to listen to the reality of a situation simply becsuse they do not know how to deal with it OR their lives have set them on a path where some of these things we deal with in our lives have not been an issue. Unfortunately one can onlly know what one knows and when people do not want to 'hear' certain things they also become judgemental. You have been through so many experiences in your life and not having validation for how you feel or the stance you have taken would certainly have affected your own self-esteem. Don't listen to that negativity Hon - you are who you are and you have been through a lot to get to where you are now ...and that wisdon and knowledge is something that these people just do not have - be who you are because I think who you are is pretty special

@Appleblossom Reading the conversation here and I couldn't agree with @Zoe7 more. What you have come through, and what you are doing is an inspiration.

I'm not good with conversations at all, but what I notice strongly, is people don't listen to each other. They seem more interested in their answer, rather than what the person is really trying to say. I guess thinking what they have to say is more important. Anyway, might not be important.

I hope your slow calked meal tasted yummy, and you had a reasonable night. 💕💜

These last few conversations have been very important for me @Zoe7

I have been able to express myself without it being excessively long, and we have both been able to "talk", without me circumscribing myself and double thinking everything I say or do. Part of that is your commitment to "listening" over time.

Just watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgTFi2vINV4

How do I deal with a bully without becoming a thug in return.

I have also thought about these things since I was a child.

@Maggie

In many ways I dont take myself that seriously, in that I know I really could take myself out of the picture.

Doing that, tho would be more violent, so the challenge is staying alive. I have long studied how to use my anger as an engine .... Long been interested in the way of the warrior in a spiritual sense. I love her image of mushrooms coming up through concrete ...

It really helps that I am not isolated anymore.

Thank you

Dinner was very yummy, well received, and I did a double batch so some is in the pot for today.

@Appleblossom I am pleased you have felt comfortable enough and have had this space to be able to talk through what you needed to Hon. It has not been an easy situation that you found yourself in but I do think you have handled it really well. It was obviously not a conversation you expected to have but you stated your position very clearly and got your point across. Having people validate your feelings about what happened and caring for you afterwards shows that what she did and said was not okay. As hard as it is sometimes to stand up for ourelves - you did it Apple and you should be very proud of yourself.

Hi @Maggie

Thinking of you @Appleblossom

How was your weekend? Better than last week I hope. Lovely support you get over here... guess you give so much. I'll be even more withdrawn this coming month, more travelling, packing & cleaning..

Congratulations @Former-Member 🏠🎉

@Former-Member Glad you are safe and sound.

I am working on not being on here too much ... finding balance I guess....I have spent a lot of time here in last 4 years ... thinking of limiting forum use to alternative days... not going far.

Hugs EOR

Hey @Faith-and-Hope Glad things are settling a bit for you and uni going well.