Fragile

I fell into studying political science @AlwaysMyself because the philosophy department was so rigid, and I really valued my undergrad. Dont regret it. I did not grow up with a lot of political discussion, as I had to work too hard earning money or doing my boring math/science homework. No, I am not party centric, either. More curious about humans, society and why things happen. I used to lean a little left, but got put off by people overdoing the rants and splitting hairs, and then later betraying me when I was even on the same side, So I see a large degree of self interest in the left now. It has changed from the days of workers banding together, but nor do I want to idealise the union movement. Ha ha ... I did see Hawky come up the lift with his mates at the Arbitration Commission. Not as pretty as his later hair dos when prime minister.

I have tied up enough threads regarding my family history and feel pretty sure that political dispute did contribute to me and my siblings ending up in orphanages in the 1960s. I had to do the research and wait a long time.

Sadly, I dont even see policy vs politics as the answer anymore these days. My daughter is big and highly placed on the policy front but doesnt face the consquences of her behaviours for her little brother. So now, I sadly watch who has the power to make and justify decisions controlling others. Maybe I was too idealistic or naieve. These days I take a lot of the justifications with a grain of salt, cos there are usually personal blind spots or guilts involved in demonising another group. I am weary and sad, and see a lot of injustice done by those banging the loudest pots and pans.

Creeping totalitarianism can be a problem.

Wish it were better.

Saw movie this morning: Song Sung Blue. I dont see many, but it was a needed distraction.

Oh, that would have been quite a unique experience (and thus valuable knowledge/insights) as a child with your father involved, and then an orphanage (I assume after his passing when you were so young), and now also with your daughter involved but then also your son being impacted by decisions made @Appleblossom . Plus the many years you have seen things change over.

I don't know or recall much about politics from the Howard era or earlier (but I know bits and pieces from memory or conversations), but one thing I have heard is that in the past there was sometimes actual discussions and education from the politicians around their ideas & the economics behind them, etc etc. Not just "this is what we stand for" without any explanation of how it is achievable or where it fits in with other things or if this is funded then where the money comes from, etc etc. I dislike when I perceive a policy as just being for "winning votes" because the demographic will "get money out of it". I don't mind paying more taxes if the money is used well and goes to help those who need it in ways they really need it; but I know I am in a minority view there often. But I am also very aware there is a lot of financial wastage already and a lot of tax-dodging corporately which could be better managed in an ideal world (which of course is an imaginary place lol).

I haven't heard of "Song Sung Blue". Quick google. 😊 Ah, a musical drama. This makes sense with your love of music! 😍. I am glad it was enjoyable for you and "hit the spot" with some needed distraction. 🤗

I was actually in the orphanages from 6-8 then returned as a single child to my parents. My siblings did not know my father much as only 2 others were returned later, but I had 3 memorable good years with him from 8-11. The main good and respectful and educational years I ever had, in spite of what was written in his psych file. His input was limited but of sufficient value to allow me to be moderately functional and later get a good education. Through dint of hard work. The others were more damaged, I guess and torn by spending longer in so called "care". They were also younger at the inital abandonment. My memories are clearer and i have files and research to construct picture of what happened.

@AlwaysMyself Thanks for even having an intelligent conversation with me about it. Generally its too hard for people, which has kept me marginalised and isolated no matter how politely or carefully I try and frame my reality for social taste and digestion. I am now very weary.

Mostly I cannot afford to have an opinion. My status is too low, others like to throw their weight around a lot, and I am just clinging on for dear life. Trying not to rock the boat. Trying to add a sense of humour to lighten my sense of grief, depression, anxiety, and be more generally companionable. I am more socially included now than in last 40 years. It took a decade to partly physically recover from my marriage, 25 years ago, and then psychologically and socially 'recover'. However, I couldnt help my son more. This current situation seems the best outcome, I cannot divulge more, but it is not good. Outragous and despairing even, although he is being a good and stoic sort.

Anyway, the treacheries of the left in my own personal domain, will not cause me to vote Liberal, National or One Nation, although I understand the current shifting dynamics. I was green back a while, but the stridency in their rhetoric just reminded me of abusive women I have known. i know longer believe they care about social justice. I dont see them as sincere any more, so cant vote for them. I dont mean to make things complicated. They just are.

I also worked for ATO so get many of the govt and corporate issues.

I have done a lot of work... on the ground... in many fields. Very tired. Wish I could be chirpy and optimistic....

@AuntGlow @tyme

'..

You are always welcome to an intelligent conversation with me @Appleblossom - although in some (many?) fields you may also be educating me in some areas where I may be somewhat ignorant. But I like to learn, and I love to hear people's perspectives.

I hear you about the slow grind of life and seeing many things wearing you out. Reminds me of Ecclesiastes. And even more so when you are on the ground doing the work/advocating/etc and the trees don't bear fruit -- or not for long, or don't propagate. Exhausting. 😞

Sounds like some time for music, to restore the soul?

Hi @Appleblossom . I hope the legalities etc aren't crystallising into too bleak a scenario, and you both have at least some access to the little one.

I hear you re politics and have held back from joining any one party, but correspond with my reps fairly frequently. They tolerate me and sometimes humour me with detailed replies - they do occasionally take on board my heretic views.

@AlwaysMyself I like your interest in fellow humans, many of us have long backstories but you enquire gently and respectfully. Sometimes it's not possible to unpack everything in a post or two. And sometimes it can hurt a bit. I think I may have overreacted to you once, and I apologise.

@Appleblossom I guess your 2026 music commitments are unfolding, and you may be preparing for Easter performances. I can't imagine the year yet.

Not a problem at all @Dimity 😊, and it is always OK for people to wish not to share. I don't take it to heart if someone responds harshly or over-reacts or even snubs an offer for support -- and in saying this, I don't really remember you having done any of that anyway (benefits of not a great memory sometimes? I forget who says what sometimes lol). I understand we all have pain, and some days are really really hard. And for a lot of people there is past experience where people who have appeared safe are in reality not safe, and the protection-mode of not trusting and needing to really watch someone's behaviour over a long period of time first to "sus them out" and see if they are consistently who they sound to be, or are someone who is faking it and ultimately unsafe to open up to. 🤗

@AlwaysMyself I think there's always trust to be balanced against prior experiences of trust having been misplaced. And in a public online space we may react to an individual and "open up" or not , or experience questions as either probing or caring, but ultimately we're exposing very real vulnerabilities. So the question of someone being a safe person here is a little beside the point.

I think it's important and relevant to say that on the forums there are many inspired and inspiring "wounded healers" who are extraordinarily generous and wise and deeply appreciated...

I'll retreat now under my rock...

having spoken out of turn.

I think you have a very real and valid point there @Dimity - especially around the nature of a forum being public and always having to remember that (even if usernames are anonymous). 😊

I don't think you have spoken out of turn - I appreciate your honest perspective!

@Dimity i love your attitude about engaging with your representatives. I have known a few local members, but not felt able to discuss my real concerns. Anyway keep doing you

Hey @Appleblossom ,

Thank you for sharing those tender years with us. I just re-read the post numerous times as it meant a lot for me that you have shared what you shared.

I can see that life has been a struggle at the best of times and hence the traumas that come with it. Despite this, you have found a way to add a bit of humour and slowly spread your wings again so that you can connect with the world.

I applaud you for this and really hope to continue connecting with you.

tyme