Living with Ourselves

Thanks @Sophia1

I will indeed tag you when my own anniversaries start to affect me and thanks for your enlightening reply - you have thought through a lot and explained a lot

I think your mother's story and mine my mother's story are similar - my mother was newly married had had two children straight away - Dad was in a protected industry and working 13 day fortnights - 12 hour shifts - and was away most of the time and I am sure had no idea that his children were being physically abused by his wife who was not coping with the situation - WW2 of course -

Maybe the stiff upper lip was the only way of coping - but I don't think it's right - my grandmother was born during Victorian times and brought that attitude into our lives at every moment - and I guess that worked for her but I still don't think it's right

Life was different - things were physically harder then - but for some reason the emotional needs of people were stilll there and maybe a lot of that is what has caused the emotional discomfort of these times - who knows - there is always a cause but it can be really hard finding out what that is

But whatever - there is no need for blame - rather than we can trust to see that things are different and accept that -

I'm sorry about the loss of contact with your mother and sister - that is so close to my heart I can almost see it

Sending hugs again

Dec

.

@Owlunar

I have spoken to sister two weeks after my operation and explained to her that it was important for me to keep my family no matter how small...how different we are...

I also told her that my love did not come with conditions however I would not look back and have any discussions about the past...

She was very relieved and expressed her thanks and love....agreed that the three of us women are extremely strong minded...independent...strong willed....

Mother was told of this and informed my sister that she was pleased .....

It was after this period and before mother's day that I spoke to her nurse at the nursing home...who came back to me advising me that he had asked her to think about burying the hatchet...her reply had been..."better to leave things as they are"..

so all of this has been about the chain of events...comments...reminders...special days...recognising and accepting my emotions as real and important...

I agree with you that the mindset of adults during that period was affected...Cruelty comes in many disguises and many extremes...

I do not justify my mother's behaviour ...I just try to put myself in her shoes and understand her better as the person she is...she does not give too much away...very defensive...of course not liking my wanting to know about her life...

thank you for the hugs...

I just had a very spiritual moment dec....I heard the voice of my soul furbaby calling me...now gone 28 months....

your kind thoughts might have come to me in a way not expected....

Leaving these here for you

@outlander @Owlunar @Former-Member @Former-Member @Grasshopper3 @eudemonism @Adge @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @Determined @Mazarita @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Teej @Appleblossom @MDT @TheVorticon @Former-Member and anyone else who has already visited or is on their way

thanks @MDT

You might relate more to the last triangle..

hope that you have something happening this weekend that makes you smile

take care

@Sophia1 Beautiful Sophia 1 thank you for the lovely flowers and the gorgeous kitty kat. Hoping you are doing okay today .... always in my thoughts Sophia1. I may not be very verbal when people are in trouble ... it is just that the pea gets overwhelmed and says nothing ... xxxxx

The flowers and cat - some of my favourites things - were gorgeous. Thank you. A lovely start to the day. Hope you are getting stronger each and every passing one ❤️😘🌹