Living with Ourselves

Thank you as always @Oaktree

Very reassuring to log back in after such a very long absence and receive your warmhearted words

being missed

touches the heart

I am living day by day at the moment and changing my strategies to get me through constantly

I will be better once the extreme heat has passed.

I hope that you are continuing to achieve your goals no matter how long it takes

take care

Sophia

Hello lovely @Shaz51

Forever looking after the forum members

You shine brightly

take care

Sophia

Hello @Jacques

It has been so long since I wrote to you as I do not visit the forums that often these days

I find that they drain me as I am a person who feels strongly for others.

I do think about you though.

My gardenia has been repotted safely with the help of my friend.

I fed my plant at repotting and my gosh it is looking so healthy apart from when we had extreme heat.

I had a first flower the other week and the scent and colour was incredible.

So I might call my gardenia Jacques as you helped me persevere and I very much appreciate all of your advice over the years.

I hope that your life is being kinder to you now and you still have joy in whatever your current project is.

You have probably remodeled the whole house by now

Please do not feel pressured to write if you are not up to it.

A support to know that you are still about will suffice

Do look after you

Sophia

hi @Sophia1 so nice to hear from you my dear friend, please, no need to appologise for not chatting, the joy of the forums is we can come and go as we please. im always here for a chat when you want to 🙂

such awesome news about your gardenia i have found at the end of autumn when the leaves start to fall off or go brown, if you prune them right back when spring comes around they grow so very well. i would be so honored to have your gardenia named after me. that is really kind. i so hope it brings you happiness seeing it grow and enjoy life.

i have my ups and downs in life, a bit all over the place of late, not sure why, but managing to have some ups so im happy, hahahahaha, yes the renovations are all finished now. mum is so happy with the house and how comfortable it is now. the only thing left to do is to put in a hand rail on the back ramp for mum as she is getting a little unsteady on her feet these days.

trying to find little projects to keep busy and to help with the panic attacks.

im so glad life is treating you well and please don't feel any pressure at all to respond, will be happy to hear from you when you are feeling up to it.

hugs my dear friend.

Jacques

Lovely @Jacques

So very gentle and caring are your responses and extremely considerate

I am not surprised in the least that you have finished the renovations; bar a hand rail.

Your mum would be so very proud and beaming from ear to ear with great love for her son.

Please soak that in so that your soul knows just how strong, brave and loving you are Jacques.

The forums are definitely a better place with you

You have been there for me for so long now and well you know my story with my adult child and how you give to me.

I actually have some phone calls, randomly; now where I still only talk about what subjects raised carefully respecting privacy and space

I have told this child of mine that there is a brave, strong, warrior there who has much to be proud about

I know in my heart if you knew one another you would share time and silences together

Thank you

I will write more to you another time

I support your courage with your ups and downs and as you pointed out there are some ups

I focus my life on my love for adult children, husband , nature, eco systems , garden and wildlife, birds butterflies bees even some insects

Not quite spiders! not reptiles!

take care

Sophia

@Jacques

I will keep a keen eye out now for the gardenia having yellowing leaves.

At the moment they are a glossy green almost as though I have wiped them with an oil.

I am frightened to touch them quite frankly.

They are really only starting to grow now after all of this time.

They must have felt so relieved when I repotted them in new soil and a medium size pot.

I fed them some slow fertilizer as well.

So for now they are smiling at me.

I hope that your panic attacks settle. They can be quite frightening.

Mine have gone away now but I have other weird stuff going on in their place.

Panic attacks can be so very different for each person as well so hard to distinguish sometimes what is happening to the body.

Definitely a signal to pay attention and take care of ourselves.

Do take care of Jacques

Do you like creating garden art out of whatever you no longer use?

I have some quite quirky stuff about in different areas.

Sophia

That is so awesome @Sophia1 im so glad the gardenias are going so well, mine are really flourishing, i know what you mean about the leaves they are so shiny. i have tomato stakes in mine and they are climbing up it, it is so beautiful and magical watching them find a way to hold on to the posts.

remember when winter comes around to be savage trimming them back, they will thank you in the summer.

yes the panic attacks can be quite frightening mum and my partner have been so frightened when i have a breakdown. i get so unwell.

i try to keep myself from being under too much stress but it can be really difficult.

umm i do love garden art, and i have a tiny windmill, i will try to get you a picture tomorrow, it is really beautiful it is made out of old scraps of metal, it actually works to show the direction of the wind. it is so nice listening to it spin too.

what sort of garden art do you have?

hugs my dear friend.

@Sophia1 my windmill i was telling you about

My eyes read "windmill" but my head thought "treadmill" . I was waiting for a treadmill pic to pop up and it wasn't a treadmiill @Jacques !

Love it @Jacques

I love stuff like that

I have so much old stuff that has become old from not having time to do anything with it laugh

A bit like me really

Did you make that?

My gardenia named Jacques is literally glowing. It has a deep green sheen to the leaves and two new buds!! I am over the moon

Write when you can and same here

Sophia