Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1

Hello darling lady. I hope this message finds you well. I am glad to see that you popped in. Love and blessings to you

Hello @Appleblossom

Putting all else aside, when our children at any age, need us to listen; to me is being a mother.

You know this intuitively. This will always be a part of him and an invisible connection between the two of you.

I have spent many hours, years, listening and being with my boys in presence with my younger one, only, now.

Rare, random calls from older one. I never know when and if I miss a call he does not answer when I call back or reply to my text messages. I cannot ring him at all and respect his need to feel safe.

Just as precious no matter how where or why. Holding him always in my heart. The invisible bond. I have worked hard at coming to accept that this is how I can have brief moments with him when he feels able. It is so very painful. I let him know that I love and miss him at the same time love hearing from him when he can which is hardly ever.

Life does not make sense to me.

I tell myself that I cannot live his life for him. This is his journey now and I am proud that he is still such a survivor. He has such great strength and tenacity as he pushes through his pain. Yes he carries the scars. I call him my warrior.

My sharing my moments differently with each. Equally deep for both.

Your dream is powerful for me as is far deeper than words.

Perhaps we actually have connected in a way that cannot be put into words, all those years ago.

Thank you for sharing such a special experience with me.

Take care

Sophia

Hello @tonys

Thank you for your beautifully expressed words about friendship being separate from time.

Distance, time, connection are not a part of moments where people connect at different levels.

The connection in those moments are what matter and each of us can choose what comes next. The moment does not alter.

I feel that about you Tonys and you need not tarry here any longer.

I sense that I hold you back. This must not be.

I hold our friendship always.

Your moon dust is needed elsewhere. I notice it spread here and there in your special way.

True friendship does not fade as you expressed so beautifully.

Thank you friend.

Sophia

Thank you @Oaktree

You also are always remembered in a special place.

Be gentle with yourself.

Sophia

Hello @Adge

You mentioned lapses and eeyore somewhere.

Eeyore lived on that one thread where we all had a ball. I cannot even remember who I was now! Eeyore now goes under the name of @Oaktree

I am sure that she would love you to say hello.

@Oaktreewhat was my character name on virtual thread? Oh was it Tigger?

Lapses. I remember also our conversations shared and our individual posts to each other.

I remember her as Tawny also. She was one of the very first people I met on the forums a long time ago now.

So many are no longer posting.

Tis life

Take care of yourself Adge. Remember you are important.

Sophia

Have not had time to be on forum since I posted last to you @Sophia1

We went through it all again. The pain and the hospitalisation. My boy is settling at last but each time it happens it cements his life in negative fashion. He tries to reassure me, but I love him and want him to find His Own life Path, and not worry about me.

I know it is different with your boy, but many aspects similar.

My brevity is not lack of feeling. Lack of energy and concentration and I need to get ready for tomorrow.

Lovely to hear from you.

Apple

Sending you hugs my @Sophia1 ❤️

Thankyou @Sophia1 and happy easter.. Tags to threads .. and so many threads there are

I stopped keeping track years ago. Letters received lead to letters returned, and for whatever time affords, I wander the isles of that thread, read, support, and then the Tardis of another letter whisks

me to another thread unbeknown to me. In short . . . apart from the music thread. I can never remember to look where I am. The day I do they will probly slash my funding. LoL..

Then Time. Its a cruel mistress to us . . . and more severe, through us, on those who await replies from

letters that somehow passed us by unnoticed, not to mention those our MH unknowingly

offends. I shudder at the thought..

Zephyrs thats what , tags, letters, posts, are for me .. we go where they summon .

Big hug to you my friend... till next masts pass

Hey @Appleblossom @Oaktree and all . . . on this tram peace to you.. tonys

Thanks for kind encouragements @Former-Member . Glad it moved the furniture in you, would love to have shown you the darkest parts of that Tale, but . . . well. you probly know em already . . . when the lights go off Mate I feel for you in your struggle. Take care friend..

Sleep just pulled up at the station.. best leap on.. tonys..

Hope that train journey was a smooth one clicking along the tracks of sleep @tonys 🙂

Hope your day goes well 🌺

Hi @Sophia1 Tired & brain drained.

Yes I'm well-acquainted with those.

I would also say that my garden looks tired & sad.

Or Baked in an Oven, as the Summers here are getting hotter, with the heat lasting months longer than it did decades ago.

My plants are doing so much better, since I am hand-watering daily with a hose.

Although I cannot possibly cover the whole back yard.

Thanks Sophia.

I'm trying to take good care of myself.

Finding that simple task much more difficult recently.

I seem to have become much less tolerant to living alone, & having no regular company.

After 13 & 1/2 years of living alone.

Am even having to resort to playing background music at home (ABC Jazz or ABC Classic) - To simulate the sounds or feelings of having physical human company.

Feels somewhat silly to do that with that intention - Yet it does help.

Adge