Living with Ourselves

@tonys

I have read again your other post that is addressed to another

You have stated how you felt honestly which is important for all of us to do.

I want you to know that I welcome you writing to me and I hope that you realise I would never disrespect you.

I am concerned about how you are feeling now though as you mentioned how serious it is for people to consider the feelings of others.

This is a must as nobody truly knows another person’s story.

please let someone know that you are okay

Remember when you asked me to do that when I was absent and you were worried

I am worried now

Please do not be upset with me

I must ask a moderator to check on you

I am thinking of you

Sophia1

☹️

@maddison @Sophia1 ..... Just came in from the paddock. Hail , Ive got 12 acres of tomatoe sauce , snow peas, tried not to look.......,

Lets not all go to bed with guilt trips and worry.

Was going through old kites with the book keeper , shes staying over, ribs, its complicated.

She keeps them for me. Lot of good history and memories there, thanks to both of you.

I stopped reading your kite halfway through maddison and just logged in. sorry.

This thing is not about you or your view of your self. You are a good person, and maybe some one or something takes over your controls now and then. Happens to us all, Just have to rise above it and be polite, and when roads too wet, hand the wheel to some one else. and then we all crash too sometimes. !!! .....I looked hard, i never said you cant be trusted. In short i was trying to say that its no good us doing this again, Im a trigger for you. i have the A 2 thing and brain injury so it will inevitably repeat if we corresponod again

It really needs a big sign hung around it..... IM AUTISTIC { The computor hides just how much.!!!

The funding package and help thats coming spells it out crystal clear !

So .. its about protecting you Maddison first, If im a trigger,... then dont go near it. thats just

sensible,... and it protects me too. You have a job thats important, and lots of others depend on the work you do, I smart enough to know most people avoid me because I get to deep

and my humour, street and farm stories are not for them !,Be smart and follow them to the exit door... .

If one person connects now and then and its peaceful or intricate or earthy, thats one more than I had before. .. and its enough for me.. I can look after me, till the cavalry arrive

You ... Get to work looking after you!!!. For you , or your work to expect you to interact with L 2 autism, brain injury etc... etc.. Its too big an ask. The guy i saw....... 10 years of study and $700 an hour.

I'm the fish thats in the wrong pond mate. not you.

Im pretty sure there has to be meeting spots for folks like me, and help is on the way.

Sorrys are hard , You did good on this one mate. you don't need to be sorry.

But ...... there are times when the best move is to move on... In nursing we used to call it ....do no harm.... that means to yourself too, Madisson.

A good nurse learns from the experience, and applies it. So tomorrows a new day, like the poem said, leave where you are, go where you belong and grow... Go get em kiddo

And stop listening to old fools like me. All the best with your future, and maybe we do everything right in the next life.

@Sophia1 Thanks im out of juice , will respond and thankyou better tomorrow night.

tonys mb1

...

😲

🙃

🕺

@Sophia1 Just dropping by some love my friend. I can imagine it is not very easy being here at present so letting you know I am thinking about you 💖

Also to update you - I have cleaned out Cat's corner of weeds and climbers and am ready to begin removing the stumps from the (small) trees I cut down and poisoned last year. They were ones that sprouted and grew from seeds from others around the garden and grow very quickly so it will be good to have them out. Then I can dig the holes to concrete in the two big screens I bought last year. I can't fill the area with dirt just yet though as I have to also dig out the blackberries that have also spread everywhere ....but getting there 👍

Hello @Zoe7

Thank you for acknowledging the difficulty here.

I am not sure whether or not you have been asked to check in on me or have been following.

To anyone reading this is my first post after receiving others.

I need to make clear that I have felt respected by Tonys since the first time we met and continue to feel that way.

Should you read this message Tonys the difficulty has nothing to do with you from my perspective.

Zoe,

Good news that you are making headway with Cat's corner.

Your hard work is paying off and this you already know.

I appreciate you letting me know.

Thank you.

I have not been able to get outside for several days due to follow ups and inevitable time taken in phone calls in the real world!

Today the weather does not look so forgiving however I can don my wellington boots and showerproof wear in defiance.

I have not the time to approach my "Pet Haven". A much nicer title thank you. I am not sure whether or not I got back to you about that. I know you understand.

I have done some tidying up there.

There is much to be done and I need husband who already has too many other projects so unfair to ask him.

The weeds have a mind of their own.

I do not like spraying as my one remaining cat visits when I let him out in the garden with me under supervision.

There are plenty of other areas for me to tackle.

There are more gardening areas to be created yet!

Exciting times ahead but I must be patient and recognise my limitations.

I must not create more unfinished areas when others need completing.

So so hard as I am itching to get started on the new.

That will come in autumn now.

Since fracturing my shoulder and the inevitable surgery inserting yet another titanium plate in my body I have sadly acquired some limitations in the work that I can do.

Of course I do some that I shouldn't.

However there is some that is just impossible.

Hence autumn on the horizon.

Enjoy your time during school holidays and time being outside.

It is the best working outside.

Better than housework.

Don't overdo it now.

warm wishes

Sophia1

I hope that this is not too long

I think that you know in advance.

One always has the option to skim read which I know happens often as in the real world by those who do not like receiving books.

The times that we live in.

Ha ha

Following Hon but couldn't be here either as I have been having ongoing teeth issues with excruciating pain. The dentist started a root canal yesterday and I have ABs and pain killers which have both began to help.

I don't think you did get back to me @Sophia1 but I very much understand 💖 Anytime I hear from you is a good day - I so very much appreciate you and our ongoing friendship. I know I have said this before but will again - it does not matter how much time passes or how much (or little) we converse - every time (whenever you can manage) is always a positive in my day.

I also understand the limitations you have with regards to your ongoing health - whilst I can imagine how hard it is for you to have to adjust what you can do and how much at one time - your Pet Haven is like Cat's corner ...a little at a time and the pleasure of feeling close to our babies and remembering all the good times is just as important (if not more) than actually finishing the area. It gives us the sense that they are still very much with us and continuing to give us those moments of joy as we work on their area.

I am not going to over do it Hon. I have done a couple of days of continuous work but felt able to do so - today is a rest and recover day as I still do not feel well from the infection and pain from my tooth over the last few days. The pain has substantially decreased and I am feeling a little better physically but also need to catch up on sleep/resting. So a day pottering around with some housework and lots of Toby snuggles (and most likely Clover as well as she has been very snuggly the last few days also - they know when we are not good).

Much love to you my friend - and please call out if you need 💖💖💖

Thank you for your kind words @Zoe7

I promise to keep this brief.

I appreciate your thinking of me and in all honesty sometimes when struggles occur on threads it is best to not add to the dynamics.

I do not usually like to respond with oh I know how you feel

However, I went through the exact same issue only a few weeks after my mum passed away and was dealing with my now non-twin which I will not delve any further into.

The pain is excruciating and does keep a person awake no matter how regularly the every day painkiller from the supermarket is taken

I had two sessions of root canal two weeks apart.

The anaesthetic plays havoc with our moods as well.

The dentist did my head in more than the dental work.

Another time should you need a laugh.

I can laugh now not in the moment.

I feel for your experience.

Yes there are many kinds of friendships and at many different levels.

The word friend encompasses so much and is misunderstood at times.

Time makes no difference to me when someone is kind and respectful so thank you again Zoe.

Thank you for the love that you sent and offer to call out if in need.

You know me though.

We are similar and you have your strong supports where you need them.

That is what you need.

Sophia1