Living with Ourselves

Hello @Jacques

I read your post on friday feast about the doctor visit.

I hope that as well as being surprised she is offering some suggestions of support.

You might not have worked.

You have supported your mum and your girlfriend.

YOu have maintained a home, bike and garden.

You have achieved so much

Take care my friend

Sophia

a big hug and warm smile for you also

Hello @tonys

Sophia's very own star to moon base one.

I hope that I have not frightened you away.

I need your humour.

I thrive on humour.

Say hello only when you can.

Hitting the support button lets me know that you are safe.

hug and warm smile for you also

Sophia

@Sophia1

I cant believe it but I maybe am healing from my hang ups about clothes and beauty and vanity and all that crap. I making friends with a lovely arty creative lady who taught beauty. For so long I could not relate about any of the girly stuff, but she also has a grounded earthy side and we seem to hit it off.

So you can see I had a good day.

Hope humanity earns back some of your trust.

Tell @Adge I can bring nibblies to his Divorce party, if and when he is ready to have it. Adge I wondered where you were, but it makes sense you were not on forum working so hard.

Agree with you both about those bullies ....

@Sophia1 @Appleblossom and nature lover, and every one else . hey there. hope this finds you in good health, in the warm embrace of all that is dear to you,.. all windows open. sunshine and music filling every corner of your mind. ... every thing is shiny on moon base one. its all gravy ... first chance ive found to go to the electric mail box. boy o boy. its like the tide . you turn your back and ...... well its good to know people care, especially when i know they have family and so much else to worry about... i can be a bit selfish..... its just me and my animal palls. i ran away from earth many moons ago but ive not forgotten its many challenges.. i do have a new distraction... back packers !. they stay in a van ive got near the creek and help my neighbour look after the place in my absence. keeping this ship afloat is is a challenge and i have to be mindful not to scare them off. they helped last year so at least are accustomed to my rough edges, not sure if they are here for the laughs or the fishing. they make a few bucks, and the book keeper is in charge. so all in all its busy for next few weeks, then engines , ignition , and lift off. looking forward to my trip. hope your hubby is showing improvement sophie , you will carry the flame for you both. i feel your strength in your words. as for my clothes, well they are my tools. like my pen and pad... different hats evoke different responses. i have beaut new threads in my wardrobe. i never wear them because they dont reveal to me the true nature of the of those i encounter... im on a journey to the streets i grew up in. i never want to forget the womb that spawned me. i need my moth eaten vail the same way any other actor does.. stage,... setting .... wardrobe... act. ... then reap your reward. relish, record all you observe. ive learned to savour my hardships and nightmares..... sleep like a baby, any place, any time. I guess im saying you need never worry if you dont hear from me for a few weeks im the man that nightmares run from.. cant uncry lost tears,... befriend fear and regret ... they were my beacons in the bitter winter of my youth. they forged the steel that keeps me strong ... i think i can hear the geese giving my new friends the customary initiation ... better go rescue them.. may your wine taste sweet , and your sunsets be serene. tonys at moon base one

@Appleblossom hi there. mate .. all i can say is bullseye .... new fashion makes every one look the same.. brain works you you know how my brain works. i think your words should be chiselled in stone next to the washington monument.! .. thats why i dress to suit me. when my rotten rages fall of me then i buy another second hand disguise . the goat gets the scraps, buttons an zips removed. no land fill from this hobo... truth be told , the lady at the op shop gives them to me for nothing as quickly as possible, and ushers me out the door.. i think i scare her other customers away.. its a win win... yes i have strong feelings about the child labour that fashion enslaves and the waste and misery that ensues. mowing and maintaining lawns.. ill spare you and save my views on this topic for some other hapless victim. any way ,, last night i already saw me strutting my stuff in those hot boots of yours .. havnt got a skirt and top to match for an old digger do you... this could be the start of a whole new chapter in my big venture to the city . hope you and your family are safe well and steering a true coarse through lifes ever changing oceans... keep safe and stay strong. tonys at moon base one

@Sophia1 hi again sophia.. there was so much in you letter that my mind crunched its gear box. . theres a lot of pain in your life and i just wish i could reach down, take your hand and tell you every thing will be o k. if your carrying the hurt , then im hurting too buddy.... remember , if your smiling , im smiling, laws of physics dont apply to feelings.. may i say that i never want you to apologise to me.. you never ever need to mate. you need to save your reserves for you now!.... one day the suns going to come up for you and and it just wont set.... you will have found everything you need from those around you to find it from within you... you will hold the sun in your hands and be the master of your tomorrows. till then , its about you, and getting better, you cant be all things to all people. deep deep breath. we are all on your side mate. no need to ever be sorry... and to me you can say what ever you like.. the rhinoceros could learn a thing or two about thick skin from me... thought i had covered every thing in the last kite to you, then i found this one.... i will be traveling soon, and obviously will be getting up to all sorts of mischief but i will be looking down to make sure no harm comes to you... so sleep well and worry not. shooting stars in big jam jars, a jam to tickle your imagination tonys at moon base one

Oooh @tonys

Have a great trip. It can be healing going back to old stamping grounds. Enjoy your mischief.

You do have a way with words. The humour and wisdom bubble up like effervescence.

" im the man that nightmares run from.. " Can mean being Scarier than ... or full of courage.

and your goats and geese seem well disposed to munching or meeting the labourers as needed. Sounds like a really good set up.

Sitting in me $12 pants bought 20 years ago. They are great for the garden.

@Sophia1 I had a beautiful Sunday. Feeling more belonging than I I have felt all my life. On here and irl.Thinking of you with your wonderful warmth to so many forum fellows.

Gently Bently Apple

Hi @Sophia1 I apologise for taking so long to reply, im not sure where your post is to me here but i have read your tag through my emails.

It does feel like a long time since we have spoken but sometimes it makes the chats more special. i am aiming to be here a little bit more again. i havent been online quite as much lately.

I am still a carer for pop however he has just been approved for a level 3 care package so will be a big help in regards to getting the right supports for him when it comes into effect. theyve said its a 3-6 month wait though so abit of a pain but at least i know whats coming for him now.

there is dramas at home unforutnatley but theres nothing i can do about it so i really just avoid home half the time. people have just randomly starting thinking they should have a say in how i live my life and how all of a sudden im a bad carer to pop and everything along those lines. i can imagine you can guess half the things they would be saying at this point and trying to take over my life or how as a carer thats not good enough. ill leave it there though as its to much to write when you would probably have a good idea of whats happening.

i am working now, i am now a manager of an ndis disability service so thats been alot to learn but because of my disability there may be a chance i will need to go back to a lower role that does require as many hours work.

i have just come back from another state for both some time out and medical treatment. they seem to have an idea on some more pain management strategies including pain implants or some hospital in-stay infusions. i did go in a really dark stage with sh and si for a little while, its not quite gone but its not as bad as the last couple of weeks.

How are you going? it really feels like we havent spoken in a while

@Appleblossom

Hello @Former-Member

Why is my latest response being moderated?

Have I said something inappropriate?

If you want me to remove the post I will.

The last thing that I want to do is upset anyone.

This is not the first time and when I asked the question before I did not receive an answer.

Are some of my posts being moderated to protect the people from me?

Sophia

thank you @tonys for such warming responses.

I caught the shooting stars in the jam jars without breaking the glass.

It is a lovely feeling to think that someone is looking down on me offering me a safeguard.

Yes I do have much pain in my life and thank you for listening without judgement.

I do continue to work hard at the challenges.

I do now recognise that this can become exhausting and need time out as do not want to burn out and crash again.

Older son has reached crisis point for some weeks now and this has now been taken out of my hands.

He needs specialised care and I must step back and send him shooting stars in jam jars.

I do hope that this magical trip that you are going on brings you much joy and rewards you for being such a beautiful, unique human being.

sending you atmospheric dust to add glitter to your trip; your attire; your mind and mostly such a creative mind.

Sophia's astral travelling journey to moon base