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Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor23 Mar 2018, 1:29 pm AEDT

Living with Ourselves

hello @eudemonism @eth @outlander @Bunniekins @Mazarita @Silenus @NameUnknown @Grasshopper3 @patientpatient @soul @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Friendconnect @Teej @utopia @Queenie @Appleblossom @Zam @perseverer @Janna @Owlunar @Former-Member @Former-Member

First of all I wanted to let you know that I have conversed with all of you at some stage on both sides of the forum..

It was my intention to close two of my threads and change my name in the kindest way for all of you...

I commenced this process on the 12th March and today is the first day that I have access to actually post or respond to anyone....I was in the last couple of days able to register a new name and like some posts...

I am so sorry that my profile ended so abruptly that was definitely not my intention....

In fact if I had done it my way.. instead of thinking would be better to be guided through the process....I would have just written on one of my threads my reason for closing my account tagging you all in....then requested account to be closed and username put to bed so to speak

I have chosen to take this path in order to protect my family's sense of safety .. privacy...health..

Please let me reassure you that this has nothing to do with any members on here...

I have tagged each and everyone of you because you have given me support and invited me into a little of your worlds...priceless experiences...I have felt heard and valued on here....Thank you all so much..

Moving forward ...this is who I am now and hope to be able to converse on the forum living in the now not the past...therefore no mention of my previous username necessary...

If you do not know who I am...that is fine also...perhaps all of the above is not relevant for you..

take care

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In response to: Living with Ourselves

outlanderSenior Contributor21 May 2018, 11:12 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Goodnight @Sophia1 will talk more tomorrow i hope you sleep well 💓💓

In response to: Living with Ourselves

outlanderSenior Contributor21 May 2018, 11:40 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Cant sleep so will respond now @Sophia1

No all of them are off leash ones and im scared of dogs. Its one of my main sources of trauma after myself and youngest sister were attacked.

Yea thankfully its pretty much healed. Well thr broken bone anyway still got all the soft tissue and nerves to go yet. Itll be ao good just to have a normal shower as i cant take them off for a shower now. Yehmy hand and arm are hurting tonight but thata normal after its gets played around with even when i have to do it. But irs helping in the long run so its worth it.
She said heats packs are much better or even soaking my hand and arm in warm water for 10 minutes or so.
The new diagnosis is basically juet controlled by anti histamines staying inside on those sorts of days and if its too bad through spring can have an inhaler for emergency. No much else they can really do at this point.

I dont have prns.. im barely on meds anymore i hated skrewing around all the time and unwanted side effects making things worse not better so said no more. Im only on mood stabilisers now but arent doing anything will give it a few week and see but will prob end off these 2.

Im glad you got to the pool today it seemed to have helped you. Its great to hear. What other things help you? Are you still reading your book? Hows your pain going?

Thank you but i dont think ill be sleeping tonight. Cant shut down so will see how it goes...

Hoping your peacefully sleeping now though. Nighty night 💜

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:05 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Zoe7

apologies did not want to end my response abruptly...

made me laugh the first time I saw the new wardrobe item...quietly thought to myself hmmm I wonder who is the wardrobe designer laugh...

I love my avatar as is part of my ancestry crest....would look very odd clothed...

although!!!!! just had a thought...something relating back to the 13th century...draped appropriately could be considered?

what are your thoughts?

mischievous Sophia today...

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Zoe7Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:07 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

I can see what I can do for you @Sophia1 - maybe a cape and a crown... will have a look to see what I can find

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Zoe7Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:20 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Cape and crown for your avatar @Sophia1

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:31 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Zoe7 I hate those stupid options of smiley things on here..at times my own keyboard pops up same as when writing a text message on iphone...

I seem to have managed to lose that in cyberspace along with many of my posts...

will wait with baited breath for triangle road sign to transform into a caped crusader laugh ..

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Zoe7Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:34 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hopefully it shouoldn't be too long before the dreaded triangle of doom disappears @Sophia1 - I like some of the smiley things options - some I don't see the point of having though

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:44 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

hello @outlander @eth @CheerBear @Mazarita @Teej @outlander all others on "the rave" still love that every time I type it...

safer for me to respond here...

my mind is even more confused...still weaning painkillers...last day today...

then trial with paracetamol only...

having said that am in a lot of pain today as probably did too much at 1 hour session in pool yesterday after 1 week break...some people just never learn I know...

I tried reading back and keeping up with everyone's news but the thread moves too quickly for me..

I know that you are having issues mazarita...medication still?? your friend is now home which is good..xx

cheerbear...new school for children great news for you...hoping that life slowly starts to slip into place and give you some reprieve....some time to settle yourself and find your niche too...xx

eth...your date coming closer of course...you are still reading I believe....you have motel room with beautiful view booked for night before? sounds the best remedy near the ocean...always my favourite...

also that date for your magical tour is coming closer too...practising take photographs I think you said...great...not sure if you posted any..sorry...

outlander ...we both had a bad night last night...eudemonism did too...what was the moon doing? you can actually buy masks which might come in handy on days where your allergy might be more affected...wear around home ...wherever you feel comfortable...don't worry about the comments of others either...come up with some humour as a response...if stuck..I know you will get many suggestions from others on the forums...

will look out for your updates everyone..

am in need of moving.,..self care...laying down for a while...will check in spasmodically

take care all xx

In response to: Living with Ourselves

CheerBearSenior Contributor22 May 2018, 1:51 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hi @Sophia1 ☺ Nice to hear from you.

Sorry to hear you're in pain and feeling confused - that's not a nice combination. I hope it passes for you soon and you are feeling better.

New school for one next year, but a good one which was the stress ☺ Thanks for your kind wishes.

Take care too ❤

In response to: Re: Living with Ourselves

Sophia1Senior Contributor22 May 2018, 2:02 pm AEST

Re: Living with Ourselves

twin relationship still in one piece thankfully...she has just returned from her overseas trip and had a fabulous time going back to our birth country....so was lovely reminiscing ....looking at photographs of old school built in 1932...not when we were there laugh...

memories reaffirmed of front door....large gates and courtyard area ...playground of infant school...

she rang today...I asked about mum as she avoided subject when I saw her on sunday...

mum very happy and relieved that we are seeing each other....twin told me was not talking about me to her...something odd as mum gave me what I refer to as the death stare when she saw me enter her room on that fatal day...the day I went to hospital for my major surgery.....so ominous

regardless mum not wanting to have contact with me..resigned to that now...

I reassured twin have no intention of playing one off against the other...will not discuss other than the occasional how is she...not my style...

also stated that will respect mum's wishes...am sad about the fact...am realising ageing coming into the equation and she cannot deal with any upset....did not tell twin that sadly she cannot deal with my mind...never has been able to...that is not going to change now..

I have read of this so often on here...saddens me regardless...what a waste of love...well to my mind is not love....certainly not my type of love which comes without conditions..just don't get it...beyond me..

am going to allow myself to feel the emotion today...am not going to bury any more as I did for such a large part of my life....

this is sadly left me feeling that my small birth family is further dwindling....mum does not speak of "my family member" any more either so I must be banished to the same place...

another twist...in the path of my journey....

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