Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1@Appleblossom@Former-Memberone thing I'm really annoyed about is not receiving my tbi compensations money... which would of gotten me around the block a few times and made all the difference for myself and my life... instead it went to my family-inturn getting them around the block a few times...

I also feel like they felt they had to destroy myself and my reputation through defamation so they could justify what they did... inturn making it all seem like it was right... and eases their consciences of robbing me of my compensations money...

It has truly left me feeling very bitter and twisted toward them... especially now that i have nothing and between them they have a small fortune... and have literally only ever cared about themselves and their own best interests-while destroying me through defamation and humiliation which essentially ruined me and also was their aliby for taking my compensations...

Now that I've been diagnosed and heavily medicated. It works out perfectly for them. It's all justified. I'm messed up. I'm helpless. They never need to give me my compensations money. And they go about only caring for themselves and their needs and their wants. It's criminal.

Family taking your compensation money does not sound fair at all. Eude

Sometimes it takes a while to figure out the best things to do about our situations.

My psychologist recently said to me "I'd like to see you get off all that medication". It does not sound like a therapeutic attitude, so I might start putting up walls and challenge her to use some of her tools with me, to do some actual work in the sessions. I will also ask my gp what she thinks.

@eudemonism

@Sophia1 Thinking of you too Bella.

@Appleblossomit's my go to scenario when things aren't working well. Or I'm experiencing problems and stressors. Been doing it for decades now. For no reason? Or for good reason? Is it my delusions? Is it confabulation? Or is it the actual truth?

All nonsense aside. I gotta fight and struggle for the best for myself. And the most positive outcome for myself. Instead of getting used, abused, tormented, pushed around, walked all over and then taught to forgive? Stuff that for a joke... literally treated like a scape goat and a means of making money, a solution to a world wide problem? I had other ideas for my life....

Literally they're last line of defense is breathing exercises and practising acceptance???

I've gotten to a point where I'm realising the severity of everything. And I'm also realising my sanity has been with me every step of the way. And everything I've thought, said or done has %100 been plausible, valid, justified, rational, practical... it's all happened for reasons that were brought upon by outside influences... and if anything was pushed upon for the reaction... then I'm judged as being mi... and expected to zip my mouth shut when it comes to what i believe is right and true for myself, my life and my story...

I hear you about the acceptance and breathing thing. I think I caught a whiff of irony in one of your posts.

For about 10 years the word "acceptance" would send me into inner outrage.

Note the pressed lips ... hmmmm.

Been doing breathing practices for 35 years.

I do not know about your details, but I do believe mental illness always happens in a context.

I also practised forgiveness so much that it was a problem. Mother never forgave me for being alive and her first born. Eventually I had to throw the religion thing out. I still get a few pamphlets, I hope a wish there are a few corners of decency in the world, but now I see religion as the same as any business working a numbers game.

Take Care Eude

Hello @eudemonism

---

@eudemonism wrote:
I'm sorry @Sophia1 for all my episodes of symptoms...

---

Please do not think that my absences from the forum have anything to do with you ..

They are about me needing to have time away to improve my health...

Hey @Sophia1 How are you doing Hon?

---

@eudemonism wrote:
Hi @Sophia1 I'm travelling ok for the moment... I've been saying no to people who want something from me, putting myself first and working on myself... I'm taking the appropriate action and steps before the depression side of my illness gets out of hand... and resting and doing nothing before the anxiety side of my illness gets out of hand... of course trying to avert the despair and helplessness i sometimes feel myself experiencing... trying to feel in control to a degree...

---

It is very pleasing for me to read your above comments..

Taking steps for self-care are paramount for people suffering with long term symptoms..

Not easy to do either...

Well done ...a struggle in so many different areas which you are managing to the best of your ability at any given time..

Sending you a big hug 💜🐾💚

Hello @outlander

Thank you so much for your kindness...dropping past to let me know that you care..

At the same time I read that you have had enough of being taken for granted..

I actually read between the words not just despair but some anger...some feelings of enough is enough..

Perhaps even feeling strongly that you have every right to set your personal boundaries...those who feel put out can deal with their own issues...they are not yours..

I believe that you are one very strong young lady....

Whom like so many of us suffering with mind struggles let alone physical health issues...tend to find it difficult to believe in ourselves as we do believe in others..

I want to let you know that you matter very much..

You are a wonderful support to so many on here..

Keep on reaching out when you need some support yourself...

Rather ironic coming from someone who does not do this herself...

I shall keep in touch when I can as with Eudemonism and a few others..

Hoping that all well in your worlds also @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Adge @Owlunar @Exoplanet

💚💜💛