My journey

Even just being on here makes me want to stay guarded at times because I keep feeling like I am not allowed to talk about it and someone here might have associated with me in the past. I don’t think I will ever get over any of it. I’ve had too much done @Zoe7

Oh @Former-Member I don't know if you know much of my 'story' but I have had A LOT go on in my life too - so I definitely get where you are coming from. I am more than happy to talk with you on some of this stuff - just make sure you stick to the community guidelines and don't go into detail about things.

Just some days my emotions are overwhelming @Zoe7 Know you suffering too, just want to be in a better place mentally and forget that period of life but sometimes it’s unavoidable, just went out and got a MacBook for study next year, my daughter is in school today seems happy

I don't think we ever forget @Former-Member but we find ways of dealing with it all better. It is in our lowest times that we find it harder to get through that pain though Hon - those are the times when the world seems to crash in around us and we find it harder to pick ourselves up. I really hope you moving and this new course helps you to pick yourself up - it is not an easy thing to do but with more positives in your life it is achievable

Hopefully I can rebuild it the way I want it @Zoe7 it’s very hard to get back up after being knocked down, in a way I have a little fire within me that hasn’t gone out that keeps fighting but yeah it’s up and down

Next year I think will be totally different

It is good to have something to look forward to @Former-Member and hopefully as a result, little by little and step by step you can begin to rebuild that life for yourself and your daughter

It is super hard to keep getting knocked down and everyone just expects us to get back up, dust ourselves off and get on with 'life' - it isn't that easy - we both know that - just as it isn't easy to concentrate on the positives in our lives - but that is what we need to try to do to sustain us in the darker times ...that little glimmer of hope can grow Hon and that is what we need to hold onto

Especially when you left domestic violence it’s not as easy as that with all the damage and kids involved @Zoe7

Just glad I am not in that environment or tolerating it anymore as hard as it is sometimes

I spoke with child support today, does trigger everytime. You either tell the same information they only know as well or provide answers to their questions that has been put down incorrect anyway by the other party. Just can’t understand the mentality of men destroying women and their own flesh and blood because they can’t tell the truth either about what really happened @Zoe7 well and truly won’t live like that again

I understand domestic violence - been there myself and witnessed it in many forms both by myself and through working with a DV service @Former-Member You have a child though and that makes it even harder to deal with as there is more than just you to protect.

...but you did get out of the situation and you are raising your child in a violence free environment and that is all you Hon - YOU are doing that, you are protecting your child.

People that use their power and are violent towards others do not understand how much their 'victims' suffer - and it is not a case of 'getting over it' it runs deeper than that. You know what that is like, I know what that is like, as do many, many others - but it is also what we do for ourselves that helps to break the cycle and allows us to live some form of a life.

I am a victim from my last but I have also disrespected others since @Zoe7

Did you work in a women’s shelter if you don’t mind me asking you?

Sort of noticed while there patterns when my little girl was being bullied, but was trying not to judge because I have no idea what they have been through. Did notice it though. My mental state then was a wreck too. Hope I can change and be a better person