My journey

I hate so many people @Zoe7 from all of this

Hate is something I think we find it hard to get over too @Former-Member - especially when there are numerous people that have contributed to the way you feel about yourself. It is hard to not then turn that hate inward on yourself Hon but you don't have to do that because you are doing everything you can to be the kind of person your daughter looks up to - I know it is hard to like yourself through all this but don't let those people have any more power over you than they have already had - you are better than they will ever be!

I don’t see life or humans the same way I once did @Zoe7 and I’ve included myself in that too

Yesterday I saw some posts about the gym with motivational quotes along side their picture....here I was thinking.... Those quotes only have meaning when you have actually lived the things quoted. Body building hasn’t done that... I am going crazy 🤦🏻‍♀️

I often get annoyed by some of those quotes as well - it is much easier to read them and even live by some of the when you have actually lived in a world where they are possible @Former-Member - it is so much harder to even think they are helpful when every day is a struggle Humankind has a lot to answer for.....

I’ve seen every side that’s the worst of me and every side of every other human and now I am like what do I do...

I can’t go back to loving or viewing others the same way at all if that makes sense @Zoe7

Yeah that makes sense @Former-Member - when we see the worst that the world has to offer it is hard to see the good in it and in people but there are still good people around - we 'see' them everyday on here but I also know that when you are feeling as you are right now it is hard to see even the tiniest bit of good in anyone.

We have been chatting here for a while now Hon and over those many weeks I have seen you find that good in others and in life itself - right now I know you are struggling and can only see and feel all the bad stuff - but you also have good things in your life and the brightest spark and the thing that gives you the most joy is your daughter. Think also of the course you want to do next year - it is a passionof yours and you have been looking forward to it - so there is light at the end of the tunnel - you just can't see it right now. I personally can see that light but it is a very long way off - some days it dims to nearly blackness again and others I feel like it is a little brighter - but telling myself that it is there on any of those days is just as important as being able to see it.

I am with you Hon - and it is my pleasure to be walking with you @Former-Member

That post brought me to tears @Zoe7

I didn't mean to make you cry @Former-Member - I hope there were some happy tears in there Hon

It’s been a bad day of emotions @Zoe7