JacquesSenior Contributor
catching up
hi @hiddenite my angel, here is our new home.
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catching up
4636 replies
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Sorry
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Maybe it would have been better if you never met me Karen, I am so sorry for upsetting you, you deserve better than me, I am a pathetic failure.
I have hurt you and I am sorry, the days are becoming so hard to handle, every day is exactly the same, nothing changes, I am struggling to find reasons to hold on.
I hope you are well, It is nice to see you speaking to @Former-Member, I am sorry I can't be here for you.
I am trying so hard to fight Karen.
I have hurt you and I am sorry, the days are becoming so hard to handle, every day is exactly the same, nothing changes, I am struggling to find reasons to hold on.
I hope you are well, It is nice to see you speaking to @Former-Member, I am sorry I can't be here for you.
I am trying so hard to fight Karen.
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Karen, I am missing you terribly too, I just don't want to hurt you or distress you I don't want to be taken away from you either.
Maybe we can talk tomorrow if you like, I will try to feel better by then.
Maybe we can talk tomorrow if you like, I will try to feel better by then.
In response to: Re: catching up
DecadianSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hi Jacques - you are in a dark place right now - I know you have trouble getting out in public - but here it's obvious that you are a special person and a lot of people like you
I like you
I had to edit a post - I don't know what happened - but in the process of editing it I lost it - but wrote another post leaving the dubious bit out - and I have no fear I will be banned -
So seeing as you are still here - I don't think you will get banned -
Dark nights can go on for ever and ever until the shadows start to fade - shadows wear out like every thing else in creation
So you will feel better - I think when you stop trying to feel better - if that makes sense -
I feel as if you are my friend too
Decadian
I like you
I had to edit a post - I don't know what happened - but in the process of editing it I lost it - but wrote another post leaving the dubious bit out - and I have no fear I will be banned -
So seeing as you are still here - I don't think you will get banned -
Dark nights can go on for ever and ever until the shadows start to fade - shadows wear out like every thing else in creation
So you will feel better - I think when you stop trying to feel better - if that makes sense -
I feel as if you are my friend too
Decadian
In response to: Re: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hi @Decadian, @Former-Member & @Appleblossom,
Sorry for not responding, i am still not in a good place, i just wanted to thank you for your support and encouragement, it means a lot to know i have people who care.
@Decadian, i was told i would be banned if i spoke any more about my own death, so i have to be carful what i say.
It is difficult because thoughts about this make up 95% of my day, it is what i want to talk about, but i am unable to, i can't ring lifeline because i can't take the risk that i might get put into a MHU, as you all know i suffer from seperation anxiety, i would not last 2 hours in the MHU. so i am trying to work throught these thoughts on my own.
Anyway thank you for your support.
Jacques
In response to: Re: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hi Karen,
I hope you and the girls have a nice day, i am sorry for worrying you, i have only just got up, i don't know why i even bothered, but i just wanted to say hello and let you know how bad i feel for making you anxious and worried.
I am too weak and pathetic to try anything, so i will be here, in my prison, just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for old age to creap up on me.
Take care Karen, i will try to post tonight if i am allowed.
Jacques
In response to: Re: catching up
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hello MY FRIEND @Jacques,
In response to: Re: catching up
DecadianSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Aw Jacques - I am so sorry - I do understand.
You can ring Life Line and talk about your feelings - but I get it and your fears.
I know you are working hard - but we all need a little help from time to time.
You can ring Life Line and talk about your feelings - but I get it and your fears.
I know you are working hard - but we all need a little help from time to time.
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
It is something I can handle on my own, but thanks @Decadian I just can't bring myself to talk to them.
I can't risk being taken away from mum. I often find myself hoping for a terminal illness so I don't have to go on, but unfortunately nothing seems to happen.
My life has been a sad one, nothing but hurt and pain for the past 34 years, I can only remember 2 or 3 happy times in my life, they where twenty years ago, how long do I wait for things to get better I wonder.
I hope your day is OK, thank you my friend
Jacques
I can't risk being taken away from mum. I often find myself hoping for a terminal illness so I don't have to go on, but unfortunately nothing seems to happen.
My life has been a sad one, nothing but hurt and pain for the past 34 years, I can only remember 2 or 3 happy times in my life, they where twenty years ago, how long do I wait for things to get better I wonder.
I hope your day is OK, thank you my friend
Jacques
In response to: Re: catching up
DecadianSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
I can hear you Jacques
I know more than I can tell you here
I am thinking of you -
Decadian
I know more than I can tell you here
I am thinking of you -
Decadian
