catching up

Karen, i am always here for you, you are the only person i care about now, you are my world, please don't feel selfish, i feel the same about you, i know your girls come first always, but i am proud to be the third person in your life 🙂 i just feel so greatful you have feelings for me, you are the first girl in my life, it only took 34 years to find you, i don't want to let you go now 🙂 you where worth the wait though!!!!! you are perfect.

I spent the past 4 hours fixing omputers, mums cousin was having issues with his pc, then mums friend rang up and wanted me to setup a new printer for him, i did not feel like doing it, but i needed to distract. i am shaking so badly now, i just can't be away from home that long. i am still very low, and having some terrible thoughts. but i am trying to manage and keep the peace with mum's family.

Yummy home made pizza, what are you and the girls having on them? i will have a pepperoni one please 😄 you are so lucky to have such smart little girls, they take after their mum 🙂 keep encouraging them to strive with what they love doing, they sound like they are so smart and sweet.

take care my love, i miss you and i hope your day went well, i am proud of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring about me so much.

hugs

Jacques x

Karen, i so wish i could do the same for you, i want you and the girls to be happy, i know deep down you can do it, you deserve happyness Karen, you deserve to feel safe. i just want to hold you all the time aand protect you.

I think of you all the time too, when i was online lastnight looking at stuff for my plan, i was thinking of you and how i didn't want to leave you, you kept me alive last night, i was thinking of you until 4am when i got to sleep, you where the reason i told a moderator here for not following through with it.

Karen, you are brave too, how you fight every day and allowed me into your heart after all you have been throug his astounding.

My angel, we are alive for each other, that is so special, i hope your thoughts calm over time and you don't have them anymore, you need to be happy, you need to be safe, the girls need you, you are their mum, you are their world.

Karen please stop looking online for those things, it does you no good, please promise me you will stop? if you promise to stop so will i, is it a deal?

I missed you so much last night and today, i just wanted to curl up in your arms and have you protect me from the world.

you are such a kind, caring and loving woman Karen, i wish you could see all the good qualities you have, you do so much for me, you are my world.

Jacques