catching up

I know my angel, i just can't hurt you anymore, i must be taking such an emotional toll on you and it is not fair to do that to you, i wish you could find someone better than me to confide in, i am not worthy.

Tonight is Chicken Kiev and veg, mum is cooking.

Tonight, i really don't know, i have been breaking my day down into minutes, i have not thought that far ahead. i have had a lot of dark thoughts today, things playing over and over in my mind.

I can't say anymore because i will get into trouble and i don't want you to get into trouble too.

Oh my angel, you sound so much like my mum, anymore than one choice and it is all over, mum can never choose, she has even resorted to me going in and choosing for her, remember Karen, the only thing worse than a wrong decision is indecision. tiles and paint can be changed, that is the beauty of a home, you can always redecorate if you are not happy.

Karen their is so many variety of colours, styles, textures etc, i really don't know how anyone can make a decision, just get some pamphlets or some sample tiles and put them on the wall "with sticky tape", see which one you and the girls like most?

You are not bothering me, i love talking to you Karen, you know that. you are the only person in my life i care about.

Hi Karen,

I hope you are ok, i hope i have not upset you, i miss you.

Jacques

My angel, what is wrong? remember you said to me last night we support each other, i am here for you too 🙂

I am feeling ok tonight, i have settled and am watching some youtube clips, please stay with me, i miss you so much, just you being here helps me, please only talk if you want to, but i am here to listen, unconditionally and i will never judge.

gentle hugs my sweet princess, cuddle up under my sleeping bag with me.

Karen, maybe we can chat about something to cheer you up, can you think of anything?

I just watched a clip of some nice 4x4's all done up, wow they look amazing, some people have way too much time 🙂

Karen, please let me know if i can help, i promise i will not get upset, please let me help you.

We are in this together, you and me, we are two soul mates, we have been through so much together. please my angel stay safe

My angel, have you thought about what you are going to do with the garden? mum and i where looking at some water features yesterday, we are thinking about getting another one, that will be 3 all up 🙂 i love the sound of running water.

Is it cold where you are? it is cold here, well cool, it has been overcast all day, but no rain, i have been watching the cattle this afternoon, they seem so happy, wandering around, eating and watching the traffic.

Please don't shut me out Karen, please speak to me.

Oh my angel, that is no good.

i know how hard this must be for you, i promise i will be here for you tomorrow, i will be here to listen and support you. please see this as a possible help, you are so good at reachign out for help, you have showed me their is nothing to be scared of to ask for help.

Because of you i reached out for help today, if you can do it so can i, please be gentle with yourself, take your time and i really hope this will be a new chapter for you.

Karen, you deserve to be happy, to not have these thoughts anymore, if this is going to help it will be worth it.