JacquesSenior Contributor
catching up
hi @hiddenite my angel, here is our new home.
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
catching up
4636 replies
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hi my angel, mum is struggling she is choking on food and has a rash all over her, it is stress related, I have done this to her and I feel so guilty for it.
Yes my angel, I have not felt so safe in such a long time, you really are wonderful. Thank you so much my friend. I know it is weird but sometimes of a night I can actually feel your hand in mine, so weird.
I am trying so hard to distract, I am sorting out the spaghetti of electrical cables in my aunts room, gosh so many electrical toys 🙂
I really struggled Karen, going to beyond blue and getting the app sent me unto a downward spiral I almost succumbed to, it was so scary. It brought back so many distressing memories of losing you.
It is sunny but very cold, I am just enjoying this moment, focusing on the here and now and thinking about you 🙂 you bring me so much joy Karen you are my whole world.
Hugs my angel, I am here if you want to chat.
Jacques
Yes my angel, I have not felt so safe in such a long time, you really are wonderful. Thank you so much my friend. I know it is weird but sometimes of a night I can actually feel your hand in mine, so weird.
I am trying so hard to distract, I am sorting out the spaghetti of electrical cables in my aunts room, gosh so many electrical toys 🙂
I really struggled Karen, going to beyond blue and getting the app sent me unto a downward spiral I almost succumbed to, it was so scary. It brought back so many distressing memories of losing you.
It is sunny but very cold, I am just enjoying this moment, focusing on the here and now and thinking about you 🙂 you bring me so much joy Karen you are my whole world.
Hugs my angel, I am here if you want to chat.
Jacques
In response to: catching up
hiddeniteSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Oh jacques I went to the sight too and had a melt down. So many lies and being treated like a second class citizen.
It was so brave of you I just couldn't have anything to do with them.
Im so sorry your mum isn't doing so well. Please don't blame yourself. Its a combination of alot of things and changes happening.
I agree at night I can feel you with me especially when I watch the stars. I hope that doesn't sound creepy. But I have such a strong bond with you. Its nice.
hugs
Karen
It was so brave of you I just couldn't have anything to do with them.
Im so sorry your mum isn't doing so well. Please don't blame yourself. Its a combination of alot of things and changes happening.
I agree at night I can feel you with me especially when I watch the stars. I hope that doesn't sound creepy. But I have such a strong bond with you. Its nice.
hugs
Karen
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Karen, see if you can get @NikNik to email you mine, that way you don't have to go to that other forum.
@NikNik should be able to do that for you
@NikNik should be able to do that for you
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Yes I did too, I was on the verge of harming myself because of it, I was so distressed, I did it as quickly as possible and got rid of it. Please ask @NikNik for mine, it will be easier to fill out.
I know my angel, mum does not handle stress well, like me, but it is partly because she knows I am not going to cope, I am trying my hardest Karen, I really am, I just hope I can hold out long enough for mums sake.
I have never had these feelings about another person before, I think about you all the time, I ache when I am not speaking to you and I worry about you so much, maybe my feelings are a bit over the top, but I have never felt like this before, I care for you so much.
I know my angel, mum does not handle stress well, like me, but it is partly because she knows I am not going to cope, I am trying my hardest Karen, I really am, I just hope I can hold out long enough for mums sake.
I have never had these feelings about another person before, I think about you all the time, I ache when I am not speaking to you and I worry about you so much, maybe my feelings are a bit over the top, but I have never felt like this before, I care for you so much.
In response to: Re: catching up
Unknown userMember
Re: catching up
Hey @Jacques
It was very brave of you to work through that app, it would have been very hard - but you did an amazing job.
I will pass this on to @NikNik and see what she thinks how this should go 
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Sorry Karen, I care for you as a friend, nothing more, please don't think I ment anything more, you have made it clear over the time we have known each other we are just friends. I ment I feel you are like my sister, like we are siblings.
Sorry if I scared you Karen, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with what I say.
Hugs my angel, my best friend.
Jacques
Sorry if I scared you Karen, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with what I say.
Hugs my angel, my best friend.
Jacques
In response to: catching up
JacquesSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
I think that would be best @jac-in-the-box, I was very distressed, I don't want Karen to go through the same, we where treated very badly from the other forum, sorry I was just telling the truth, I ment no harm. It is just very distressing for Karen and I to see them.
Thank you
Jacques
Thank you
Jacques
In response to: Re: catching up
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Hi @Jacques and @hiddenite
I am enjoying my first coffee in weeks. I did go overboard with it a bit but am trying to cut down (like @Mazarita) and have it as an occasional treat. Not buying instant anymore, but brewing up a proper pot.
Sorry to change the subject, but I do care about you guys, and respect your friendship. I wish there could be more friendship between men and women and not so much a battle of the sexes. We are all humans with many passions and feelings and needs and desires, before we are divided into gender and things become aligned along sexual lines. We all would be a lot happier.
A safety contract is a good idea. Mostly I can keep safety, except that time in October which had been because of a build up of many things, including the car accident, and not being allowed to recover at home. I blurted to the GP that I couldnt promise not to stockpile, so she restricted the scripts through the pharmacy. I realised that though I had a firm resolution not to act on my SI, at times it could slip under my guard. Now I have gotten through that phase the doc trusts me more.
Yesterday at the train station I went through a reflective process on my past thought SI processes. Rather than truly feeling safe, I talked to myself about how I could face previously triggering situations and accept calmly how distressed I had been. I had to tell myself never to be cocky about it, because once it has been part of me it is always there. I just try and drown it out with other things like books and music. Same way I plant in the garden force out the weeds ... Sorry wrong metaphors ... but do you kind of get what I mean?
In response to: catching up
hiddeniteSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Jacques your feelings for me are no different than yours and thats fine. You mean more to me than anything. I have never known being treated with kindness and respect . Jacques I am too embarrassed to say how I feel. In case you don't feel the same. You mean more to me than a sibling I have those and you and I are much closer than that.
I have never been as close to anyone as you. I love spending time with you. I trust you completely. There is no one I would drive 12 hours to be with.
I hope you are resting .
I have never been as close to anyone as you. I love spending time with you. I trust you completely. There is no one I would drive 12 hours to be with.
I hope you are resting .
In response to: catching up
hiddeniteSenior Contributor
Re: catching up
Sorry I hope that makes sense apart from my girls you are the most special person in my life. I respect you and think very highly of you.
I don't think you realise how special you are to me.
hugs
karen
I don't think you realise how special you are to me.
hugs
karen
