catching up

hi my angel, so nice to speak to you 🙂

Yes, things are getting more out of my control and it is taking a big toll on me, but like you i have to deal with it.

Mum loves her room, she had a friend come around today she took her straight in to see her room, she is so proud. It is so nice to see her not ashamed of the house for a change.

I know how scared you are Karen, but you need to work on keeping yourself safe so you can do all those things with the girls, we really need to come up with a plan to keep you safe 🙂 i am open to suggestions we will at least try my angel.

Karen you do not deserve any of this, you have reached out for help everywhere you can, others have let you down, others have failed in their duty of care. you have done everything in your power to keep yourself safe and i am so proud of you for reaching out.

I do hope she has some professional conduct in her and helps you, i hope she is not like all the others before and only want to treat the Trendy MI patients.

Big hugs my angel, i am so proud of you 🙂

Jacques

Karen, my sweet angel,

Please always remember not being able to take the girls anywhere or be elft alone with them is only temporary until you gain control over the SI thoughts, you can beat this Karen, we will work together to help you rebuild your life, you can do it, i know you well enough now, the strength you have and the courage you show is astounding. This is only a temporary problem, please always remember that, it will not always be this way.

Karen, life is ever changing, you know this better than anyone, our lives take different roads and new challenges and opportunities come up all the time, nothing is static, we need to embrace change instead of fighting it all the time. Karen, you could have such a happy life with the girls at your new home, and through hard work and determination i know you will get their, and i will be here always encouraging and caring for you through the whole journey.

Remember to hold my hand so you don't fall 🙂

hugs my angel

Jacques

Good morning my angel,

I hope you are well, i know you are very stressed, you have been quiet and i think you are pushing me away, it is ok, i know we need our own space, but i worry about your safety. i hope you are ok my friend.

i did not get to sleep till 4am i feel very exhausted, but i need to do some stuff to the house. so i need to get some energy.

gentle hugs my angel, i do hope your psychiatrist treats you well and continues to treat you. i am here for you my friend, always.

Jacques

Lovely to see you giving gentleness and warmth @hiddenite

Hi my sweet angel

The feeling is mutual my angel 🙂 we are so lucky to have each other, i am so thankful every day to have you in my life too.

I do try to say these things to myself too Karen, i try so hard, but struggle with it, we seem to be kinder to each other than ourselves, maybe we both need to work on that part of our lives.

no i am suffering such bad panic attacks all through the day and night, mum's health is deteriorating fast, the stress she is under is enormous, i fear she is going to have a breakdown. for me i am already having another breakdown 😞

My angel, from you i would love a hug, you are the only one who cares about me, you are the only person in my life i care about. gentle hugs back, how did your appointment go?

I am here for you my angel, please don't push me away, i care for you and worry about you all the time, that is what best friends do 🙂

Jacques

Hi @hiddenite

So glad that the psychiatrist was supportive and understanding. Next time you see her can you ask her to write you a support letter for driving the girls? Its great that the private MHU is still an option in the future too.

Thats really disappointing about the treating team appointment though! Have they rescheduled for you?

good luck,

LJ

Hi My angel,

I have lost control, i smashed up some furniture and some pot plants, mum ran inside crying and i feel so low and upset with myself for losing control, i have not lost it like this in years, i could have demolished the whole house, i felt so angry, i am losing control, i am turning into a monster again 😞 i hate and loath myself so much for doing that to mum and for showing her how destroyed i am becoming, i have hidden it so well up till now, maybe she would be better off without me 😞

sorry Karen, maybe i am not the nice person you think i am, maybe it is all a facade, i just don't know anymore, everything is spiraling and i don't know how to stop it.

hugs my angel, i am so proud of you going to your appointment and i am so happy things are working out, you deserve some good news. please give things time, you may not get all you want at once, but working hard and keeping safe, things will work out for you.

take care

Jacques