catching up

Ok my angel, do the best you can, i know tonight will be tough for you, i iwll be on for a few more hours, so if you struggle tonight, just post a message and if i am still awake i will answer.

Thankyou my angel, i am feeling really numb and dazed, everything feels so surreal.

My angel, you to, no matter what happens tomorrow hold onto me, never let go, i will not let you fall. i promise, make sure you stay safe Karen, i promise you i will be safe, please promis me you will be too?

sweet dreams my princess, alow yourself to relax and focus on how you will distract tomorrow. hugs.

Thank you so much for supporting me tonight, i really appreciate it. goodnight.

Jacques

morning my angel, i know you will be on your way to take the girls to school, i know how hard today is going to be for you, i am here my friend, don't see this event as a failure in your life, see it as an opportunity to get better, to become the happy mum the girls need. to start your new life.

my angel, i know you have low self-worth and low self-esteem, you need to challenge these views and see yourself as a strong woman, whom can do whatever she likes. the sky is the limit for you my angel, you just need to work extra hard at getting their.

my thoughts and well wishes are with you today, i will be online all day, well maybe snoozing this afternoon, but i will be on most of the day.

hugs my sweet princess. miss you

Jacques

Hi my princess,

Gosh you mother is really a peice of work, i can't believe after all this she is still not supporting you, i partially blame her for the problems you are havign now, it is so hard with family support, let alone without. she will just have to get over it.

Karen, you do plenty right, you are under a lot of pressure and you have snaped, it is totally understandable, you are a wonderful person, a loving mum and an awesome friend.

Today is a terrible day, their is something wrong with me, i know it now, i sleep all the time and i have no energy, i have noticed lately i am coughing up blood, just small amounts and their is something weezing in my lungs.

Any way what a disaster today has been, i spilt 4 liters of enamel paint on the hallway carpet, i tried to clean it as best i could, but i think the marks are still going to show, then when i tried to peel the tape off the wall it pulled some of the new paint off with it, i give up, i am no painter, i am so angry with myself for being so lazy and useless.

Sort of Karen, i did get some sleep, but i am really stressed. i think things are going to worsen for me in the future.

Hmmmm, the girls, well you could tell them that you are having some people make sure you and the girls are safe.

or tell them that some people are comming over to chat about what has gone on lately?

Maybe @Appleblossom might have some suggestions, i am a little out of my depth Karen, i would think try to tell them as honestly without scaringthem too much.

Hugs my angel, it is a long day for the both of us, my hands are shaking so bad Karen, my anxiety is so high right now it is incredable.

Jacques

Hi @Jacques,

just wanted to check in, you mentioned that you have been coughing up blood? Have you thought about going to your GP about this?

It might be a good idea to go and get checked out to see whats up with you physically!

Let us know

Outlanderali

Good suggestion about going to the doctor @hiddenite !!!

@Jacques you should consider this a suggestion from 2 people!

I will see how i go Karen, at the moment it is only whne i cough, it is only a small amount, maybe it is the chemicals i have been inhailing, if it gets worse i will go to the doctor.

My angel, what is it when a day starts out bad it seems to snowball, maybe after yesterday i should not have attempted to do work on the house. anyway the painting is all done in 2 rooms, the others will not be done for a while, so i wil lget a break.

Yes my angel, i am sorry i am not good with kids, that is the best i could come up with, just try to be honest with them.

I am going to try for an hour or two sleep in a minute, to try to calm my nerves. i will lite some incense this afternoon i think, i am very overwhelmed today.

Karen, i promise i will stay safe. i am glad you are promising me too, Karen, please see this outcome as only a temporary measure, if it does happen it will only be till you get back on your feet. i will be with you every step of the way, i can't see you losing custody because your parents seem to fill in when needed. just try to keep busy, thinking will only make things worse.

Karen i will stay safe, no need to worry about me, save your energy for this afternoon, my thoughts are with you my friend, please let me know how things turn out.

Promise me Karen you will stay safe this afternoon, whatever the outcome, see this as an opportunity to get better. you are a good mum and the girls needs you no matter what. please be strong.

hugs my sweet princess.

Jacques

thanks @Former-Member, i will see how i go, i have been using a lot of heavy chemicals lately so it might just be my lungs clearing themselves. if it gets any worse i will go to the doctor.

thank you for your concern. it is much appreciated.

Jacques