catching up

oh thank you my angel, it is just my insecurities.

i am so fearful of you not wanting to be my friend, a fear of abandonment. i am so close to you now, i don't want to lose you.

Oh Karen, please try to go to the doctor, i know you are scared and embarrased, but it is getting really important now, and it is so silly to go through all this pain when it can be gone in a day. please try Karen.

Oh dear, yes i understand why they are triggered now, maybe just reassure them that not all men are bad, i hope in time they get comfortable enough having these teachers. it is only early in the new year.

my angel, i did not sleep, the panic attacks are so bad.

hugs my princess, missing you a lot. please take care.

Jacques

Hi my angel,

Yes, struggling today, not much to do but ride it out.

Oh my angel, i am so sorry, yes, it must be so hard when days like today come up, just focus on the present, break your day down into hours, minutes and seconds. and always remember he can never hurt or harm you again.

I am here if you want to talk, or need someone to be safe with.

missing you too my angel, we are both not havign a good day.

Jacques

I know my angel, you are not well either, which i am sure makes things worse. Karen, take time out, treat yourself, maybe focus on the girls,

They are something good that came out of that horrible time, you have two beautiful healthy children, you love them and they love you, you are starting a new life soon, think of all the good now.

The past is just that, the past, you can't change it, relfect on it and close that chapter of your life, focus on the here and now and the fututre.

Karen, i do know what you mean, and i am trying, i don't want ot upset you with my thoughts, you are struggling enough.

I am here for you my friend, please let me know how i can help you 🙂

i wish i could make you feel safe, i wish i could protect you, just know you have a friend who is always here for you, unconditionally 🙂

hugs my angel

Jacques

Hi my angel,

I hope what i said about your past was not mis interpreted, i ment out of all the bad, your two girls is something good to come out of it. you are lucky to have them and they are so smart and caring because you have nurtured them, and smart because you have educated them and given them evey opportunity.

Try to find the small things Karen. I hope you are managing tonight.

I know my coping mechanism is not good, it has been a really rough day i have not been kind to myself, you know what i mean.

my angel, you need to care for yourself, you are not well and you have a triggering day, i don't want you to wast any energy on me, i just want you to get well 🙂 please be safe, i am here for you too if you need to chat, i will not judge Karen, i never have.

hugs my angel, i am so glad you are moving forward in life, i am so proud of you, please remember you will always have me cheering in your corner.

Jacques

Oh thank goodness, i was worried it sounded worse than what i ment. i am so scared of wording my sentences wrong now.

I understand Karen, it must be so scary when you get the flashbacks, and even scarier when you think he is still here. see if you can try to focus on a TV show, or try to get some sleep early to distract.

Oh Karen, you poor thing, that was so silly when you have that infection, you could have done some real damage. please drink plenty of water tonight to get your hydration up.

Oh my angel, i wish i could give you a massage and help you distract, what is the weather like their? it is warm here, no sign of rain, i got out this afternoon and sprayed some weeds to distract, i feel so low and tired Karen, so so tired.

Rest now my angel, you have had a very emotional day, i hope tomorrow is a better day for you.