My special place

Hi @Former-Member

I think it is important to remember that we need to put ourselves first. We cannot support others when we are having a tough time. If you were close to a meltdown before you came on here, then perhaps it would have been better for you to receive support rather then give support.

It is fine to come on here and check on friends but we need to put our mental health as our main priority. We are all on here because we have some form of mental illness. Sometimes we are on here to get support and to give support at other times.

It is hard when you form relationships with people on here and then they either say they are going to do something or you don't hear from them for days/weeks. I guess that is the chance we take when we form close relationships on here. It has happened to me at times on here before where I was concerned about others hurting themselves or doing something worse. Some have disappeared completely and some I have heard from again. I do wonder what happened to those I have never heard from again, but I have to believe that they are getting the help they need and perhaps one day they might come back.

I guess you have to trust the process SANE has here and that is one of the reasons why we have moderators on here. If anyone is in danger then the mods will email them directly.

We have to pick our timing carefully when we offer support to others. We have to make sure we are in the right frame of mind before we can offer support.

I'll say again to put yourself first. We cannot give support if our own mental health is compromised.

I hope this long winded post helps you.

Hi @Faith-and-Hope , how are you tonight.

@outlanderplease listen to nurse @Sans911 and get help if you need it hun.

You know we all care about you and don't want to see you get worse.

Thank you @outlander that is good to know. I hope you are able to get a decent nights sleep with your cough. 💖

Thank you @Snowie , One of the main reasons for my poor mental health is I have always put others before me and that's a hard one to break. I will be more careful in the future and as hard as it maybe I should probably just log off if I am unstable myself and that happens again.

Your long post is greatly appreciate 💖

Feeling pretty tired tonight @Former-Member. I might head to bed early and rest up. It's been a big week.

I like the answer @Snowie gave about the difficult post you referred to @Former-Member. I don't think I can contribute much more than to say that some people need more support than the forums can offer, and it's made clear to us here that this is not crisis care service. The mods, while removing the post, also follow through with alerting crisis services around someone who needs the next level of care. As @Snowie said, we have to trust to that process, but holding the person in our most positive thoughts can help I think ..... sending them heart-felt blessings in our mind's eye.

I miss forum friends when they are not here, and when they disappear entirely, as @Snowie said, it's important to believe that they are receiving the help they need elsewhere. And then there is the most beautiful surprise when some return a long time later, sometimes under a new username, but they let you know who they are .....

I can understand putting others first, I think we all do it at times @Former-Member

It is hard not to support people if we see them distressed and as human beings we want to be able to help them and make them feel better.

It shows how much compassion you have for others hun.

It took me awhile to understand myself that I can't help others if I don't help myself first.

@Faith-and-Hopesaid it beautifully too.

In saying all this I will wish you all a goodnight. For my own mental health I need to take my meds and try and sleep.

I wish @Former-Member that I could stay on here longer and chat but I know my limits and I know that I am no good to anyone once my flashbacks set in. It is better if I can try and sleep.

Good night @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Sans911 @Former-Member As always you all are in my heart and my love and hugs go out to you all.

Talk again soon ❤💜💛💙

Yes @outlander YOUR health comes first sweetheart.

Goodnight sis ❤