My special place

I am not at all surprised you are feeling like that @Snowie - quite natural under the circumstances Remember though you have shown such great courage and strength to do something so painful ...many of us here have never had that courage - so whilst it isn't the ideal outcome ...take heart from your own strenght and let that guide you forward from here. ...with you all the way in however you feel and however you approach things from herein

Anyone around atm?

Yes @Snowie ... but give me 15 mins while I bring in washing from line.

Sorry @Snowie ... took longer than planned. Had to return a phone call for an upcoming specialist appointment for hubby. Change of plan there, now to be via telehealth rather than in-person visit. All organised now.

How are things going for you today?

I am glad you got it organised for your hubby @Former-Member . Sounds like lots more health professionals are doing it via skype, etc.

I hope I can still see my supports in person next week but will just have to wait and see.

Not going great the last few days. Lots of thoughts and feelings and trying to numb everything.

How are you going? I know lately it has been super hard for you.

Yes I realise you've been doing things tough lately @Snowie ... Numbing things down is possibly a good way to get through the initial few days. But eventually you need to work your way out of that. I'm glad to hear that you have some appointments scheduled with supports next week. Yes I hope they can be in person too ... better I think. Although if it needs to be via Skype, then thats better than not having the appointment at all. Has there been any further discussions with your Mum? You may find she retreats a little for a while, as she attempts to sort things out in her own mind. She will eventually see things as they are ... at least I hope so. I can only try to imagine what it may be like as a Mum to hear what happened between her two children. I think all you can do is to give her a little more time. I still say you absolutely did the right thing by bringing this into the open. Never regret this course of action. Its something that needed to happen for the sake of your own family. How would you feel if you didnt do this, and something happened to your kids? No regrets @Snowie .... Major disruption to dynamics right now ... but the new dynamics will be far better, far safer for all.

Let the numbness descend for a while, but then work hard to come through it with assistance from your supports.

Sherry 💕

I haven't spoken to her since she questioned me about it happening or not @Former-Member and a few more questions she asked me that I haven't mentioned on here. I can't face her at the moment. I realise she has a lot to deal with and have been giving her space and time, but still hard to deal with the fact that she asked what she did.

Numbing myself is what is needed at the moment. I know I have to deal with all of this eventually but we are the masters of internalising eveything and wanting to shut down. Seems what we (or I) do best. Probably not the right way however but what will be will be.

Yes I understand @Snowie and yeah I am pretty good at shutting down too. :face_with_rolling_eyes: Things will work out in the end.

Meanwhile sending you a big hug (coz I can, and I want to) and letting you know I care. 💕