My special place

Feeling for you about the online shopping @Snowie 💜 ..... it is a big deal when that is what you need ..... you are being brave about it though. Hugs ❣️

Thanks for the replies @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Zoe7

I am going to try and avoid the shops as much as I can.

H is working from home now as of tomorrow. Perhaps I can write a list and send him down

Sounds like a good idea @Snowie.

@Snowie Your family can deny all they want - it doesn't make what happened any less real or your feelings any less valid. They are the ones that need to come to terms with the truth - you have done all that you can do now - the rest is solely up to them. Your B does not matter and if your Mum cannot accept and believe you then that is her loss. She has choices to make that only she can make and unfortunately it is common for others to deny the reality - especially when it is one family member against another. It is incredibly difficult to feel that she is not only NOT accepting what you have told her but not believing you also ...maybe in time once the shock has worn off she will see what is right in front of her but until then it is your family you need to concentrate on Hon - your H is standing behind you and supporting you and that is something very positive in all this mess - hold onto that - you both know the truth and that is all that really matters Hugs and hugs and hugs

Thanks

No wonder why people keep quiet. I can understand why now.

I should have kept my mouth shut.

Going downhill quickly

Awww @Snowie 😢 I am so very sorry that you have not had a better response from your Mum than what you have. Sorry that you do not have the support you deserve from her. No wonder people keep quiet? Yeah I guess. And its one of the reasons I never reported the crime committed against myself. Fear of not being believed ... his word against mine. Its so difficult to know what to do, and I am not a good person to advise you I suspect. But its done now, and you DO have your husbands support. That is so important. And you now know that you can keep yourself and your kids safe. That too is so important. I still think you did the right thing by bringing this into the open. You are protecting your children by doing so. Yes ... you were right to do so, the more I think about it I know that to be the case. You needed to open your mouth and speak out, bring it into the open. It was never going to be an easy process ... you were aware of that, as evidenced by your hesitancy in the first place. But you were right @Snowie . It will take some time for everything to settle. Everyones emotions are understandably very high right now ... your poor Mum probably equally as much as yours I suspect. Nobody wants to hear that sort of stuff about their children. She will probably remain in denial for some time, but she will come to see that you have no reason to say something which is not true. She will come around ... give her time. Give yourself time too ... you are still coming to terms with this too. This new family dynamic ... which will never be the same again.

Thinking of you and urging you to keep going.

Sherry 💕

I do not blame you for thinking you should have kept quiet right now @Snowie but you absolutely did the right thing. Acceptance is not something that many in this situation are able to practice straight away - I know this does not help you much but it really is your mother's cross to bear right now. So often we are not believe not because the person we tell does not want to believe it but because it is too horrible to accept - that again does not help us but in my experience it is a common reaction and more often the reality than not. Stay strong Hon because you have shown immense courage to disclose this to your mother - do not let her reaction affect you moving forward. Remember also that she has only had a few days to process this and you have had a lifetime to carry it. Her reactions, her processing and her own memories will rollercoaster along for some time and whilst it would be preferable for all that to be immediate for you it will only happen when she is able to deal with it all herself - and that will take time. We cannot control the way others deal with things but we can control our own reactions to them - and you have the support of your H and us here to help you through this. Whether your mother accepts the truth or not is now totally up to her - such a massive thing for you to do Snowie and still in awe of the courage it took to do so

@Zoe7 @Former-Member

I've got no words, I just am zoning out, making myself numb. Feeling nothing is best.

Thank you for your words, they mean a lot to me.