My special place

greepea & everyone thank you

I am so over the heart thumping that is going on, the agitation & sensations that are taking away my function, my mind & body have gone into incessant flight mode. all I want to do is run. I am so scared as I believe I cannot perform professionally. Every session commences with the "overdrive" I am currently running on. I found a new therapist & I think that this will be possibly an OK engagement. However, although the stuff, was pre-existing, disclosing has led to multiple memories & flashbacks of really dreadful things that I have submerged before. I just need to package it all up & put it back on the shelf somehow. I knew my childhood wasn't great, the fear that this has generated is true, there is no where safe to be.

@Bast Oh Bast you have found a safe place here amongst your friends on Sane forums. We will be with you every step of the way my friend. I am so sorry that you need to put memories on shelves. I remember when I was very ill I used to put my memories in boxes and close the lid they havent been reopen in a long time but it is heading for that point in my life that I have to stand infront of a forgiving mirror and do just that. So happy that you have found a good therapist (stay positive my friend) to help guide you through the process. Again we are here for you Bast. Love always peaxxx

@Bast 💜💜💜💜

M is still really angry with everything. I am hoping its just at the whole situation and not me in general. I don't know if she has spoken to my B again, she hasn't said anything but I suspect that she would of. I don't think he will change his denial in all of it, but I don't care about that side, I just want her to be ok.

On a good note I went shopping today and got some toilet paper!!! Not stockpiling but at least I've got a weeks worth there. The supermarket was cazily busy, which just made my anxiety worse, I really do hate crowds. I hope I have enough food at home especially since they have stopped online shopping which I use to avoid the crowds.

Oh well, my issues seem insignificant to others on here going through so much more. My heart is with you all going through some rough times at the moment.

Much love and hugs

@outlander @Sans911 @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Former-Member and anyone else reading this.

It is a major thing for your Mum to hear @Snowie and it certainly will take time for her to process it and then work through it also. Unfortunately that is a timeline that can't be judged as we all process such things in our own way and own time. I know you get that but it is incredibly hard also to be the one that has given her this news. Look after yourself throughout this Hon because although you are worried about your Mum there is nothing now you can do to help her work through this - that has to be hers to deal with. As for your B - denial will most likely persist but you have the truth on your side and you have done the right thing by you and your family. Hold onto that as you move forward because you are who matters the most in all of this. Many hugs and a whole lot of love coming your way from me, Tobes and Cat

@Snowie 💖

Hey well done on getting lucky with the toilet paper today. I have been trying for 3 weeks now, and each week the shelves have been bare. Wasnt too worried before, thinking things would settle down. But Im down to only a couple of rolls now, and beginning to worry. Thinking I may have better luck if I utilise the Woolies senior hour. May try that this week.

Would like to reassure you that your issues are far from insignificant .. in fact quite the opposite. Never ever feel guilty for posting about the things you deal with every day.

Kind thoughts coming your way.

Sherry

well done on getting lucky with the toilet paper today @Snowie

i got some for us today -- yaaaa

sending you hugs my friend