My special place

You have spoken your truth @Snowie, and truth has its own power. It's something that your mother doesn't want to hear because it is so awful, but she will also know that you have no reason to lie about this, and there is definitely something behind how unwell you have been ..... so if this is what you are saying it is, with the support of your pdoc and as a result of hospital treatments, then this is what it is, and she is going to have to accept it. Your b's denial doesn't carry enough weight to counter what you are saying.

Like "my" WH (different situation, but denial still at the core of it) your b has everything to lose, so he has to deny it ..... there is nowhere else for him to go, but that is still not enough to make what you have said untrue Hon ..... with time the truth will keep rising to the top - through denial, through the events of the past, through relationships ..... it's a seed that grows.

Your part now is to keep working with your doctors, and put your recovery and healing first ..... your own beautiful family are your core relationships ..... let time work it's own way, together with the truth, on your mother and b ...... how they cone to terms with this becomes their problem.

Hugs n hugs n hugs n hugs @Snowie ..... courage Hon ..... keep swimming, and just float awhile when you're too tired to swim.

❤️🌹

Unfortunately @Snowie it is often hard for those close to us to want to believe such horrible things. It is not always that they do not believe but more they cannot cope with something so awful and therefore choose to believe nothing has happened. This is no reflection of you and your truth - it is solely their inability to be able to deal with the reality. When it is a family member this becomes even harder. You have absokutely done the right thing by you and your mother will believe what/who she chooses to until she can accept the news herself. She may bury her head in the sand so she does not have to face it as all she has know for so long is being significant;y challenged. None of this helps you though Hon but now she knows it is up to her what she does moving forward. What is most important is you have told her and cn have your b out of your life. You can avoid any family gatherings etc. when he is there and do not have to explain (or make up reasons) for not attending. You no longer have to endure the fear of seeing him and your reaction when you do so that should help you move forward. You absolutely did the right thing for yourself and again I am in absolute awe of your strength and your courage in all of this

Thanks @Sans911 @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander

She hasn't said anymore to me so I am not sure what is going on.

Am trying to get through each day as it comes. I know its really stormy at the moment but hoping with this out in the open, things become better.

I hope it becomes better for you too @Snowie No doubt your mother is taking time to process everything and what she does or does not do from herein is up to her. You have disclosed the most heartbreaking and personal thing that has and does continue to affect you everyday - she may need more time to get over the shock and I can certainly imagine she is very torn between her children - it may not be a case of not believing you but more not wanting to believe that of her son. Unfortunately you are the one at present feeling like you are not believed or supported and that is extremely difficult. Everyone reacts to news of this nature very differently and copes with it the best they can - stay strong Hon - you have done an extremely brave thing and hopefully that storm you are in right now will pass quickly. We are here for you throughout this

I agree with @Zoe7 Hon .... there are some immediate benefits for you in having told your mother, and at some level I am guessing that has removed strain from

you ..... the strain of having to hold the sort of secret that should never have to be kept ..... and despite the not knowing how it will work itself out from here, I hope you can breathe a little more deeply knowing that you have done the right thing by you, your H and your beautiful children.

You have also done the right thing by your relationship with your mother , whether she understands that yet or not, because the integrity of being able to deal in the truth was missing before.

Big gentle hugs @Snowie 💜

Anyone around?

Hi @outlander

How are you? How has your day been?