My special place

I think @Zoe7 it comes down with what I can cope with. It has upset and rattled me enough with just this much, so have to be very careful how I proceed forward and if I am going to do more harm than good for myself. It is so hard to trust anyone now

I totally understand those trust issues Hon - have those myself

It really does come down to what is best for you and that is really only something you can determine. It is devastating when someone we thought we could trust breaks that trust - and especially with something so sensitive for you and you feel like you hacve done something wrong - but that is not the case - makes those negative feelings we have about ourselves heightened and that is hard to live with. It is amazing that you have been able to function at all through this so that just proves yet again to me how strong you really are @Snowie

Thanks @outlander

I know it is up to me @Zoe7, I just have to work out what is best for me. I see my psych tomorrow, I might discuss it with him a bit more.

I think it happening just before I went into hospital helped as I did loose it for awhile. Now it still goes through my head daily, I just try not to get too upset about it and let it affect me too much. Even now, the tears have started again over it.

Not surprising you have tears @Snowie - it is not a small thing Talking to your psych tomorrow is a good idea - you can work through all scenarios and work out what you can realistically deal with - whatever you decide - you have to be comfortable with your decision - no-one else. This is such a sucky thing for you to be going through Hon

How are you feeling aside from dealing with this - how are the meds and sleep going?

@Zoe7sleep is going ok. My meds at night knock me out till at least 4am. Then from about then it is hit or miss whether a nightmare wakes me up or not. My meds are still being "tweaked". One has increased in dosage since seeing my pdoc last week.

Thank you for being here with me tonight

@outlanderthanks too, I know you are here too with me

It is no worries at all Hon - you have actually helped me also

I am going to talk to my pdoc tomorrow about my morning meds - I think they are making me too tired after I take them in the morning - I often fall asleep for a bit longer and that can't continue to happen if I am to seriously consider going back to work. I think I know which one is doing it but not sure whether now is the right time to stop that one - I'll see what my pdoc says tomorrow. I definitely don't want to go backwards at all - won't cope with that but I do need to be awake to try to get through the day - it is such a fine line as you would very well know @Snowie

@Snowie