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Good morning @Wintersweet

Meant to go pick up the new med this afternoon. I'm assuming it will take some time for me to adjust to the changes. I guess it's a just wait and see moment.

Last night was another call someone night.

I hope your day is going well.

@Snowie

I hope the person you talked to was able to give you the support you needed. I’m really glad you reached out and sorry that it was a rough night.

Hope the med change/adjustment goes as smoothly as possible for you. Going into it with an awareness that it’ll be an adjustment sounds wise.

I hope your day is going well too 💛

Went and picked up the new meds. Will start tonight.

It wasn't a great call. They didn't really understand. Got the 'this will pass' speech.

@Snowie

I’m sorry, I hate it when they respond that way. I find it really invalidates what we’re feeling in the moment and/or invalidates the ongoing struggle of chronic stressors/symptoms.

I also wish people understood the difference between “this will pass” and “the intensity of how you’re feeling in this moment will pass but I can hear how much you’re hurting right now and I’m here with you”. Even then, I think there’s lots of times when being reminded that the intensity will pass just isn’t helpful.

Do you find there are particular ways people respond that are generally helpful when you’re struggling, or is it less about what they say and more about having someone hear you and be with you?

Thanks @Wintersweet for your words

I think if I believed 'this will pass' or could cope in that moment, I wouldn't have been contacting them in the first place. I realise they are just trying to help, and thank them for it, but I think their words can be both very powerful and invalidating at the same time.

I think it is more about having someone just listen and be there with you. A lot of the time you have lots inside your head that needs that release. Even if they don't understand exactly what you are going for, just showing a bit of compassion can really help.

I guess also it changes for each person and what their needs are.

I hope the day has been kind to you.

@Snowie

Yes, that all makes total sense. I agree that if it was that simple we wouldn’t be calling. I admire your ability to both see the kind intent and to recognise the power in how someone responds (for good or bad, and that even kindly-intended responses can be very invalidating).

It also makes sense that what you often need most is someone to give you a safe space to get things out of your head, listen to that, and respond with compassion. 💛

I hope today is kind to you too!

@Wintersweet

I think compassion can play a huge role in talking with someone. It takes a lot of courage for some people to reach out and I think that voice on the other end can have a huge impact. Unfortunately we sometimes have to take the good with the bad. But I guess that is life.

Today has been difficult on quite a few levels.

@Snowie

I’m sorry today has been difficult. Would it help to write about it on here? No pressure, but I want you to know the space is here. If you end up reaching out to someone tonight I hope they are able to meet you with compassion for where you’re at and a listening ear for what’s going on for you.

Tangent incoming, and no need to respond to this at all, but I actually listened to a series of talks on compassion the other day which was a reminder of the power of compassion and the different things that make up compassion. The idea of being emotionally present with someone in their pain, empathising, showing kindness- and sometimes not just kind words but offering support through kind/protective action. Obviously it’s not all or nothing and I’m oversimplifying so many nuances of how that can apply and situations where wisdom is needed to know what’s actually kind/helpful to offer, but I thought it was interesting.

Good morning @Wintersweet

Yesterday was just one of those days where it would be better just to erase it from your memory.

Little sleep last night, been up since early this morning.

Those talks on compassion sound interesting. I'm glad you were able to listen to them and hopefully they made a difference for you.

Wishing you a good day today.

@Snowie

That makes sense and I’m glad you could tell what would be more helpful (leaving yesterday behind rather writing about it on here). Not getting much sleep is really rough but I hope today is better for you 💛 Do you have anything planned?

The talks on compassion have definitely given me a lot to think about, including reflecting on why I think it’s good to be compassionate to others but struggle when it comes to self-compassion. (Not that this is the first time I’ve thought about it, but it was a reminder.) I’ve gotten to the stage of recognising that self-compassion is probably useful not dangerous, but learning to both do it and to manage the discomfort of it is a whole thing!