My special place

Hello @Snowie 💛

It sounds like there's a lot of vulnerability surrounding your brother and I can hear it's been a lot for you to hold? We don't need to delve further into this right now, but I am here if you'd like to talk about it at all, okay?

Aww, you gotta!! How sweet. What are their go-to Easter chocolates?

Ah, that is really wonderful to hear, Snowie. Knowing that you have ways to connect to flow is amazing. When you are having a tough night, would it be helpful to have this as a reminder?

I hear you, sometimes taking it day by day is exactly what we need to create a little more regulation for ourselves.

How has mum been? We haven't talked about her for a bit. 🫶

There is a lot of history with my brother @AuntGlow and I'm just meant to forget and forgive. If only it was that easy. I try and put my differences aside for my mum, but it's hard.

My kids don't really care what brand, as long as it is chocolate!!

I do have my reader next to me at night if I wake up and struggle to get back to sleep. Also have some fidget toys and word puzzles. Also have white noise on my phone.

My mum is getting worse. She struggles a lot just with everyday things that come easily to others. Everything is left up to me. My brother is useless. If she needs to go somewhere it's me. If she's having a problem it's me she calls (was 7:30am this morning). If she gets frustrated it's me that she takes it out on. She expects me just to drop everything and be at her beckon call.

Had some bad news about my Aunt. Got an aggressive form of breast cancer. Needs chemo immediately. She is taking this weekend to decide if she goes ahead with it. I guess we have to support her with whatever she decides.

One can only take so much. I feel that breaking point getting closer and closer.

♥️ @Snowie …..

❤️ @Snowie

Awake at 5 this morning. Woke up on edge and it's felt like that all day

I tried to get an earlier appt. with pdoc but he's booked out. On cancellation list so hoping something comes up soon.

Spoke to someone from LL. I've been trying to do the right thing.

So I called again. They did the usual checks. Not much help

Bed

Hello @Snowie and @Eve7,

How are you both tonight? 🫶

@Snowie it's really, really tough to forgive and forget someone who has hurt us. Doing so for the sake of someone else is kind for them, but it can sometimes leave our own needs and feelings unmet. I am wondering what would be best for you and your healing? You don't have to answer this, just something that I think you're more than allowed to consider. 🥰

haha that is fair! I love any and all chocolate too... except the random Easter chocolates the bunnies used to hand out in the shopping mall during the early 2000's. They definitely were not the vibe. 😂

Gosh, that would be so much to manage on top of your own mental and physical wellbeing. I wonder if the pressure to care for her contributes to some of the heaviness you have been feeling too?

I am so sorry to hear about your aunt, Snowie. That would be so much to take on as well. How is this sitting with you today?

I can only imagine how close that breaking point must be feeling. Is there anything you may need from us right now? @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Eve7 @outlander

For me @AuntGlow it would be best if I had no contact with my brother. It was like this for a long time. It's only recently that we have talked. Normally we only talk about mum and her care. In the last 5 years I've only seen him twice.

Mums care does have an impact on my MH, especially when it puts a lot of pressure on me. I've had to cancel my last pdoc appointment because of her. I know it won't be the last.

Haven't heard from Aunt. I just have to respect her decision.

Ive already stuffed up today. I've already called Lifeline twice. I tried to be honest but don't want anyone turn up at my door.

Im going to bed, safe place.

I don't want to be a burden

It sounds like you have been protecting your energy for quite some time, so I can imagine it would be really jarring to be in connection with him again. @Snowie

That must be so frustrating for you, lovely. I am sorry. 😣

Regarding calling Lifeline, I am honestly glad you reached out when you needed to. I am glad you're safe, but I can hear you're needing more support right now... what might that look like? 💛

Hi @AuntGlow

I'm struggling to be on here at the moment, or anywhere really.

I don't want to say the wrong thing, I don't want to be a burden to anyone

There isn't much anyone can do. I see my psych tomorrow but am worried about what she'll say or do if I open up to her. Will she let me leave, will she ring H or my pdoc, will she ring someone else

On a good note my mum is going to her sister's on Tuesday for about 5 days. I have to drive her half way but at least it will give me a short break. Better than nothing.

ohh hugs my sister @Snowie , sitting with you xx

a short break of 5 days will be good xx