My special place

@Ru-bee

So just got a message from psych. She has postponed our next session and made it via telehealth. Now have to wait longer. I hate telehealth.

Tried to talk to someone on LL. Waited for 30 mins, finally got onto someone then mum needed help so had to stop the chat. She was trying to put her car key into the house door lock.

She is having eye surgery in 2 weeks so trying to work out payment and health care fund.

Couldn't get on to surgeons rooms so have to try again tomorrow morning.

Now she is angry and that's my fault.

I just can't

This is all so crummy @Snowie

I can't imagine the amount of empathy you must be showing for your mother to be able to drop your own needs to attend to her. It's admirable, but it also sounds exhausting and not appreciated by your mother.

None of this is your fault. I'm sure you know, but I just want to voice it because you are being told otherwise.

Are you able to give LL another go? I hear that you've been putting your needs aside all day and it really sounds important that you get some time to focus on you and just talk through what you're feeling

I worry @Ru-bee that if I jump on chat then she will come up again. I always fear that she will interrupt me. It's happened before. I'm trying to use my SP.

I get that @Snowie it would feel quite intrusive to be interrupted like that

How are you feeling now?

I'm just tired @Ru-bee But so much in my head

I'm tired of my life.

Awww hun @Snowie .

I'm hearing you. I hear you are tired. I hear you are tired of fighting it. I hear things are just tiring.

I hope you find a way to work through this. You deserve so much more in life.

Can you think of anything we can do to help you?

Also, did something happen for this change to occur? The last time I saw you (last week), things weren't this tiring.

I'm here if you need a chat.

A lot happened @tyme

My mum is causing a lot of problems. I won't go into detail again.

Things are my fault however.

H is away.

My thoughts aren't good. I'm struggling to cope.

I just want out.

Yes @Snowie , I remember you mentioning having to be a full time carer. That sounds so tough on you. Especially when you were trying to get on top of things.

Have you every contacted Carer's Australia? Or have you spoken to your mum's treating team to see if there are respite services to support you? There's only so much you can do.

I'm hearing you @Snowie

Hugs

We had someone come out yesterday to do an assessment @tyme They have suggested another assessment. We have to wait to see what she is eligible for. That can take awhile I was told. Months maybe.

Respite was one of the things that we are trying to get approval for. She can't afford to pay for it herself.

Everyday it is something else. I know she can't help it but it's still a lot. The problem I have is that there is no one else.

I'm overwhelmed and I can't cope. There is no end in sight.

Don't worry @tyme

I don't want to annoy anyone.

It's just too hard.